Page 9 of Inked Heart

This woman is lucky I love her. Watching her eat those damn anchovies and smelling them is making my stomach turn. There is no way I will tell the woman carrying my baby, she is making me nauseous. Beside the anchovies, I am enjoying sitting here and staring at her face. After months of feeling I would never see her again, I will take her anyway I can get her. For now.

To be truthful as happy as I am to see her, I am also pissed. Clearing my throat and putting my pizza down; I ask the question that has been nagging at me for the past two hours.

“I do have a question.” She drops her slice of pizza and slowly raises her head to look at me. She can feel the tension coming off me, because she is now fidgeting and biting her bottom lip in nervousness. As much as I want to tell her not to be nervous, the truth is depending on her answer, I might lose my shit. So, all in all, she should be nervous.

“Ok. I’m listening.” She says.

“Were you ever going to tell me Kitty? Or were you going to let my kid think I am a deadbeat. Shit. Did you think about me even once when you found out? You did a bang-up job of blocking me from you. But I have to wonder was that before or after you found out my seed was growing inside of you?”

Fuck. I am getting more worked up than I meant to. Looking around the restaurant, I see a few slight glances our way. Immediately I realize I should have waited to do this once we left, but it is burning in my gut and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. No. Fuck that. I have every right to be pissed. Was she going to keep my kid from me? Keep me from being a father to a life I help to create? Pushing my plate away, I pull out my wallet and note she has not gone back to eating either.

“You about done? I don’t have much of an appetite anymore.” She nods her head, reaches behind her for her purse and sets off towards the door. Throwing some bills on the table, I take long strides to go after her.

Once I walk outside, I see her leaning over the door of the truck with her shoulders visibly shaking. For a moment I think she is throwing up. But when I get a bit closer and hear the sniffling, I know she is crying. I feel like a piece of shit, for a split second. Until I remember, I am not the one in the wrong. But still, hearing her cry does something to the inside of me.

I pull her from the door and into my chest. Instantly, my blood pressure goes down and a sense of calm comes over me. Having her in my arms is unlike anything I have ever known. It brings back all the memories from the one night we spent together.

“Shhhh…. don’t cry baby. I’m sorry Angel. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, El. Your right to be upset. And the fucked-up part is, I cannot say to you that I planned on telling you. I would like to think once I had a chance to get used to the idea and to come to terms with all the ways my life was going to change; I would have come to you and let you know. But given what I went through with my parents, I am not sure. And I know that is fucked up. I feel horrible about it. You deserve more than that, but it is all I got.”

Shit. Listening to her cry and sniffle her way through the confession, almost brought me to my knees. I am as manly a man as you can get, but there is no man alive worth his grit; who could withstand his woman crying her eyes out in front of him. Her confession, though a bit messed up and given through tears has my ire cooling and mind clearer. She was scared. Plain and simple. Given that we don’t know one another, and she has no reason to trust me; beyond the fact I have been inside her, worshipped her, and am more than a little in love with her. I get it.

“Thank you for being honest baby. I am sorry you had a fucked-up childhood and hopefully you will begin to trust me enough to confide in me. But most of all, I want you to see that I could never hurt you, leave you, or betray you. I will always put you and our baby first. Now come on. Wipe your face and hop your sexy ass in this truck so I can take you home. I would love nothing more than to fuck you and brand you tonight. But I think you have had enough emotional upheaval for one night and I don’t want to upset the baby.”

Like the little brat she is, she smiles through her tears, blotchy red face, and snotty nose and rubs her nose on my shirt.

“Did you just rub your snot on my shirt?” I ask her to try to hide my smile but failing miserably.

“Yes. You told me to wipe my face.” Brat. I kiss her forehead, lift her into the cab and drive her home. Pulling into the building, I put the truck in park and turn to her.

“Tomorrow, we are going to start the day the way we intend to go on. When you wake up in the morning, know that you are my woman and I am your man. You are carrying my baby and the two of you are my first, priority. You will not leave me out of anything. Do you understand me? I want to know about doctors appts, morning sickness, problems, fears… basically anything. We are going to make this work and be a family. I am going to try to slow down a minute and give you a chance to catch-up, but I cannot promise you it will be very long. Now slide your ass over here and give your man a kiss.”

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