Page 26 of All I Wank for Christmas

“What do we do with the toys?” Holly hisses, searching frantically for her tights.

Where the fuck did I throw her tights? And where the fuck aremypants and suit jacket? My mind spins, trying to assess the danger of getting caught and trying to remember where the hell I threw all of our clothes.

“Grab the toys and tuck them in your underwear.”

“I can’t find my underwear! You sucked on my panties and then put them in your pants.”

We both frantically look around the room as Holly shoves the toys into the waistband of her skirt. Hopefully, the elastic will hold them there.

My suit! I need my suit. I can’t get through the night without it. My jacket fell behind the cabinet, and my pants fell…

Holly pulls on my arm. “Jasper, someone’s coming. We have to move. Now! Forget my panties. I don’t wear them that often anyway. It’s surprising I did today.”

“I need my suit. I can’t deliver the presents without it!”

She spins me around and gives me a push to get me moving, and I have no idea where she wants me to go. She spins me so that I face the other wall and not the door. She’s panicking and probably wants me to simply move in one direction, either to find my clothes or get the fuck out. “You’re not going to be able to deliver when you’re beat up because Darryl found you naked in the basement. We need to go out the sliding glass entrance. Now!”

Holly’s face is flushed with fear, and her hair resembles a bird’s nest. Mascara pools under her eyes, and she’s pulled down her shirt, not even bothering to hook her bra. I stare at her still-hard nipples through the fabric until she claps her hands in front of my face. “Jasper, now!”

Clothes. I need something to cover me. I can’t run through the house naked.

I sprint to the BDSM costume bin and grab for my pants, not looking as I take off at a run and follow Holly through the cutout drywall, out the sliding glass door, and into the backyard. Holly glances up at the living room light once we’re outside, breathes out a sigh of relief, and heads for the fence. The gate has a lock on it, and she curses before sticking her foot on a board and heaving herself over the fence, landing with a thump on the other side.

“I just wanted to have some nog and watchSupernatural. This is not how I thought this night would go,” she mumbles, clapping dirt off her hands.

I follow Holly over the fence, and we run to the sleigh as fast as we can in the shin-deep snow. Thankfully, I never took my boots off, so my toes aren’t freezing. Holly had the foresight to shove her feet into her Converse that were right next to the bench, so at least her toes won’t fall off from the cold.

Our bodies are a different issue. Holly left without her tights, and I look at the back of her reddening bare legs, wishing I could make sweatpants appear out of thin air for her. I have my own frostbite problem since I’m totally naked in the moonlight except for my boots.

Holly turns to look at me for the first time since we left the house. “Jasper, you’re naked! You didn’t find any part of your suit?”

“I have my pants,” I say, holding up the item I grabbed from the costume bin.

Holly’s eyes widen before mine do. I should have felt a difference, but I didn’t examine the fabric in my haste to get Holly and get the hell out of the house. I didn’t think in my blind panic.

I’m holding assless chaps.

“Holy fucking shit! Where are your pants?”

“I must have grabbed the wrong thing!” I reply, looking longingly back at the house just visible through a thin spot in the trees. “Fuck! What the absolute hell?”

“You can’t wear those to make deliveries.”

I put my hands on my hips and look up at the moon, frustration squeezing my chest and almost hurting as much as the cold air literally freezing my dick off. “I can’t make deliveries at all without my suit. At least not more than a handful tonight without being able to slow time. I also can’t get into most houses unless the door is unlocked or a window’s wide open. Not likely in December.”

“We’ll have to go back and get it,” she says under her breath. “We’re going to have to break into the sex room…again.”

I nod and close my eyes. “I’ll do it. There is no ‘we’ here,” I say, making the apostrophe marks with my finger. “I can’t risk you getting caught too. You’re the only person that can help me if I get caught.”

“I’m not letting you do this yourself.”

“Yes, you will. I need you to stay with the sleigh and take it back home for me if something happens. The reindeer know the way in an emergency. Just take it home and tell my mother I’m a royal fuckup. She’ll figure something out.”

Her hand runs down my back, and she pushes her face into my skin before wrapping her arms around me from behind. “You’re not a fuck up, Jasper. For what it’s worth, this night has been an adventure.”

I snort out a laugh. “Yeah, an adventure. I got you tased, and you’re out here without leg coverings.”

“There’s a blanket in the sleigh. I’ll be fine. Let’s think about how to get out of this pickle.”

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