Page 97 of The Rebel Witch

“That’s easy for you to say.”

She sighed and stood, her disappointment obvious. “It’s not. I remember how bad it is to go through something traumatic. I remember how awful it is to feel empty, like no one in the world could ever care for me. I remember what it was like to not want to exist anymore. Lucky for me I had someone who did care, who didn’t let me go.”

I also remembered the day I’d found her bleeding and how the world had stopped and I’d begged her to stay with me. I hadn’t been able to think about a world without Kelsey in it. She’d been my safe place for most of my life, and then she’d been gone. “Well, I didn’t have anyone.”

“You do now. I’m here. Casey’s here. All you have to do is reach out and you’ll find what you need.”

“What I need is for you to let me go.” I wasn’t even sure if letting me go meant I would return to Myrddin at this point. All the questions had opened some place inside me I hadn’t encountered in a long time, and honestly, I didn’t want to confront it. I might go to the woods and live the hermit life. Or build out a van and drive around the world with three cats and a travel vlog.

“Can’t do it,” she said almost sadly. She grabbed another Danish and walked to the door. “I can’t give up on you. No matter what it costs me. I’ll come and get you if Lilith shows up. I’d love your opinion on whether you think she’s actually the one sending Hell beasties to kill me.”

I didn’t know why she would trust me at this point, but I had nothing better to do. “I won’t take my soul back, Kelsey. If I know Myrddin, he’s used it for something and it’s destroyed, and I say good riddance.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that,” she concluded. “You really should try the pastries. And there’s a vial of blood for you under the napkin. Evan left it so she could go and do the research thing.”

They were still looking for my soul, still thinking if they could force that pain back into me I would be the weak, vulnerable Liv they enjoyed.

I turned away and heard the door close.

I didn’t want her to leave and yet I couldn’t stand her being here.

And then I yawned.

Stupid weakness. I took the blood she’d so casually left behind. Like she wasn’t worried it would make me strong. Like she wasn’t worried about me at all.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible to have some coffee. Eddie’s blood wasn’t as powerful as what Myrddin gave me, and it was obvious I had to compensate.

I tried the croissant, too, and I had to admit, it was delicious. I sat on the balcony of my prison cell, looking out at the moonrise.

It was nice.

* * * *

Kelsey

It was almost noon when I found myself pacing in what Tix called the salon.

“Baby, I can handle whatever I need to handle.” Gray sat behind his desk, leaning back as he watched me. “I know it makes you nervous, but if I have to work for Lucifer for a little while longer, it will be worth it to save Dean.”

We’d been arguing about this for almost an hour. After I’d left Liv’s room, I’d checked on Dean.

He seemed weaker than before, and I knew Lee felt it.

“We don’t have much time left.” Lee sat in a wingback chair, one leg folded across the other. He was wearing his normal uniform of jeans and a black T. “I can hear his heartbeat slowing. And his breathing. Sometimes I think I feel his mind trying to brush against mine, but even that’s weaker now. He can’t hold out forever.”

“I won’t let him die,” Gray promised Lee.

“You can’t sell yourself to do it,” I argued stubbornly, knowing I didn’t have another solution. My hand went to the slight curve of my belly. This kiddo couldn’t have one dad who spent all his time letting the Lord of Hell filter the possible worlds through his soul. I had no idea what it would do to him long term, but I knew he was so much more comfortable with himself and the rest of us since I’d come back. He was getting along with Fenrir. He was excited about the new baby.

“I also cannot allow our shot at taking out Myrddin to die,” Gray pointed out. “This isn’t a choice, Kelsey mine. Lee can’t do it by himself. It requires both Lee and Dean and the weapon the royals are searching for.”

“Mia.” Lee sounded so certain. “It requires Mia. She has the weapon. She’s the final piece of the puzzle, but it won’t work if Dean dies.”

We were walking a knife’s edge, but I had a bit of optimism. “As long as he doesn’t have Gladys, he can’t do shit, and I don’t intend to hand her over.”

“He has the grimoire back, and there are ways he could make you give Gladys to him,” Gray said solemnly. “Tell me you wouldn’t do anything if Myrddin got his hands on Trent or one of the kids.”

“Well, I’d love the fucker to get his hands on me.” Lee’s fangs were out, his eyes shining in a way that let me know he was thinking of how he would handle the situation.

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