Page 37 of 23 Hours

“Gunz?” My name’s a mere whisper on her lips.

I’m sorry.

Images of my childhood flood forth… of them. The women. The old housewives crying for more. Begging me to finish inside them. Telling me how much they loved me.

I fucked them how I fuck Niki. I treated them like I just treated Kit. With dominance and debauchery.

She’s better than that.

Hell, I’m better than that.

Needing to get away before I lose her and Adam forever, I do the only thing I can think to do. I kiss Kit’s cheek in goodbye and leave her standing in the parking lot as I climb into my truck and peel out.

I grip my steering wheel and crank the music up as I force myself to face forward and not look back.

It takes every ounce of strength to leave.

Every. Fucking. Piece.

But I do it.

For Kit.

For Adam.

For the uncertain future.

For my heart.

’Cause I think, for the first time in my life, the damn thing’s breaking.

CHAPTEREIGHT

GUNZ

Still keyed up by how I left things with Kit, I blindly throw whatever clothes into my duffle bag that sits on the floor beside my clubhouse bed. I gotta pack. I gotta get shit straight. No more thinking of her. She’s gotta be the furthest from my mind for what I gotta do… what we gotta do as a club.

What if she hates me after this?

What if goin’ on this run ruins the friendship we’re building?

Dammit, I can’t think about that. I shouldn’t even care. Everything happens however it’s gonna happen. If Kit doesn’t wanna look at me after I molested her in the bed of my truck, then I deserve what I get. It’s my fault I crossed the line. My fault I put my lips on hers. My fault I got hard and continue to do so whenever I think of her. That shit’s on me.

Kicking the bag, I curse the thing for no reason other than the need to release on something.

I’m unraveling. I can feel it, muscles tight, mind racing, stomach churning… and it scares me. Not for my sake, but everyone else’s. I’m the sane brother. The levelheaded one. On the run, they’ll look to me for guidance and trust. If I can’t lock down my emotions by the time we ride out, we’re as good as dead.

Music blares from the common room, filtering through the back halls.

Mouthing the lyrics, I plug my phone in on the nightstand to charge. If I had it in me, I’d go home tonight and spend time with Janie and Dom. Maybe I’d seek out Bink and Leech for family time. Maybe I’d tell ‘em all about my visit with Adam today. I’m exhausted. Too exhausted for any of that. They’ll ask questions I don’t wanna answer. I’d rather be left alone. We ride out in two days. Got plenty of time to say goodbye beforehand.

Toeing off my boots, I lay my cut on the nightstand and sigh.

I need sleep.

Hours of sleep. Days. Maybe a fuckin’ month.

Out of nowhere, a sweet, floral scent suffuses my room. I draw in a deep lungful of air, knowing the familiar perfume well. Arms wrap around me from behind. Hands splay across my stomach. Tired of thinking… of… feeling… I grip her dainty wrist and glide her hand down the front of my pants.

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