Page 81 of 23 Hours

Of course, Big would be the one to find us.

Unable to form words or look my brother in the eye without gettin’ choked up, I gesture to the handgun lying in the middle of the floor, near the sole of my shitkicker.

A low rumble leaches outta Big. Knowin’ my brother for as long as I have, it’s a sad sound. “Damn, woman.” He kneels and picks up the weapon, his long, brown hair dropping like a veil on either side of his skull.

Doin’ what he does for family, Big pockets the gun and drops his heavy ass on the floor beside me. He lifts Niki’s legs and drapes them over his lap, to bear this weight together. His thick shoulder and arm rest against mine.

“It’s been a shit month,” he grumbles.

Tell me about it.

Emotions paint my face in salty remnants of pain.

I can’t believe she’s gone.

In my arms, dead.

Forever.

Gone.

We sit in silence for what feels like decades before Prez speaks again. “This is not how I saw shit goin’.” He sighs. “Remy’s gotta be put to ground.”

Fuck that piece of scum. “We need to get our women help,” I choke out. That’s what’s important. Picking up the pieces. Fixing what he’s shattered, one shard at a time. I don’t care how long it takes. I don’t care if I gotta be the one to sweep up each piece and glue them back together myself. I’ll do it, for them. All of ‘em. Nobody will end up like Niki, lying still in my arms as the familiar scent of death floods the air.

“The pussy doc is comin’ tomorrow first thing,” Big comments as if that’ll somehow help.

A dry, humorless laugh releases itself as I side-eye my brother. “That’s not what I’m talkin’ about.”

“I know.”

“She’s dead, ’cause of us.” My embrace tightens around her form.

Big delivers a nod… slow and heavy, as his shoulders hunch forward. “I know that too… and I’m sorry for it. We didn’t start this war with Remy, but we gotta be the ones to end it. We don’t need any more of our women or children, or anyone for that matter, goin’ through this. Think about it, brother. Janie went through what Niki did, for longer, and there are more Janie’s out there.” Big strokes Niki’s shin with a single finger.

I’ve thought about it plenty. It’s one of the reasons I took Janie and Dom under my roof. Why I put in the work and helped. Why I give a shit.

Glancing down at the woman in my arms, I gently rest Niki’s body on my thighs, yank my shirt over my head, and use it to cover her bare chest. The last thing anyone needs to see when we carry her outta here is her naked body. She deserves at least that much dignity. Not that she’d care. Hell, she probably wouldn’t care at all. But I do.

Pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, Big doesn’t say a thing when he climbs off the ground with her legs in tow. I follow suit and we do what needs to be done.

Heart heavy, we head into our clubhouse infirmary and lay her body upon the cold, sterile, stainless-steel table. A table all of us brothers have been stitched on dozens of times before. The night Big got shot on the compound by a crazy bitch, we brought him here. Now it’s where we leave Niki’s body to rest. I adjust her head to the side, to hide the biggest part of her trauma. Not everyone has guts of steel. It takes years to handle brutal deaths without bein’ squeamish.

Beside each other, Big and I stand back, our arms crossed over our chests, and look… at her, at the bruises, at her discolored skin. My gaze turns bleary once more. I wipe the wetness from my eyes with both fists. Big clasps me on the shoulder and squeezes. I grumble in response. This is not how I pictured our homecoming playin’ out. Now that they’re safe, I thought the worst was over.

Goosebumps pebble across my skin as I inhale the deepest breath and blow it slowly out of my mouth, to get a grip on the darkness that wreaks its havoc on my shuddery insides. It’s been too much for far too long. Bad day after bad day. Dead ends and death. Exhaustion and stress. I’m barely home an hour, and I’ve got duties to deal with, people to see, wars to fight.

Shaking my head, I sigh and continue to do what I do… take care of what needs taking care of. I adjust the shirt over Niki’s breasts and grab a white sheet from our stash on a nearby shelf. I flick my chin and eyes at Big to help me. Together, we drape the cotton over her form. The last thing we need is any of our women or children comin’ in here for a bandage only to see this.

Before we leave, I expose Niki’s petite hand beneath the sheet and deliver the smallest of kisses upon her cooler, firm flesh. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, more for myself than her in a final farewell. May she rest in peace.

Big follows me as we exit the infirmary to reconvene in the hall. “I’m gonna get our prospect to clean up the mess.” Prez gestures to where the scene took place.

Defeated by the day, I nod once, tired to the bone.

“You go home,” Big orders. “Be with your woman. I’ll have someone pick up Niki and do the same as they’re doin’ for Runner.”

“Her family?” I know there are some. Not many. But a few. They disowned her when she became a club whore. Apart from her cousins, we’re all she’s had for years.

---