Page 43 of Liberation

“Not interested.” He takes another sip of his drink.

A month ago, I think he would’ve been—the idea of a downhill run without having to pedal uphill first would be appealing to a guy who makes a living letting gravity do the hard work—but I get that maybe it’s too soon after his brother’s death for him to feel excited about the new park.

“Okay, if you don’t want to see the park then let’s hit the trail. We haven’t done that in a while.”

“Can’t.”

Ryder’s always been more of a winter sports guy, so it’s possible he’s not feeling the bike right now. Although, his indifference has me a little worried. He’s too active of a guy to sit around moping all the time, even if he is in mourning.

“Well, if you don’t want to do anything for fun, maybe you could help me work. We’re trying to get this new trail done before the season’s over, and I could use the extra hands.” It’s a lame idea, but at least it would get him moving outside.

“I don’t need the money.”

“I’m not saying you do. I’m saying I could use your help.”

“Sorry. I’ve got other shit to do. I gotta take a leak.” He pops up with more energy than I expect, given the unfocused look in his eye, and stalks toward the public bathrooms near the playground adjacent to the park. Though his gait isn’t smooth, he doesn’t appear to be staggering. Still, I don’t like the look of it, which must show on my face.

“Don’t take it personally.” Deacon’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “I’m pretty sure the last time he was on a bike was with Chase. I think it’s the bike he’s got issues with, not you.”

“Whatever it is, time doesn’t seem to be making things better.” I can’t seem to relax my brows even though Ryder’s now out of sight.

“Is there some sort of time limit on grief I’m not aware of?”

I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out. I’ve never lived through loss, so I’m not exactly an expert on it, which I assume is Deacon’s point.

“I hear you,” I concede. “Keep an eye on him though, yeah?”

“Of course.” Deacon’s voice is steady, but the way his gaze roams over the crowd—like he’s looking for his next conquest—doesn’t give me much faith in his word.

Chapter 21

Jace

Blake’sshouldersslumpashis friend Ryder walks away, and it takes all of my willpower not to go over and put my arm around him. Instead, I lift my brows in a silent question, and get a slight head nod in return. It’ll have to do for now.

I think back to the first time I met Blake and his friends—sitting at the bar watching a mountain bike competition during my first trip here—and they had to leave early to take Ryder home. Blake said Ryder was trying to drink himself numb after the death of his brother, which had happened only days before. Based on Blake’s expression, it seems like that’s still Ryder’s mission. I’m not surprised Blake would try to engage him in conversation and assume blame when he couldn’t pull Ryder out of his own head. I just wish I didn’t have to pretend to be oblivious to Blake’s pain right now.

Fortunately, Becca’s cheery voice seems to grab his attention as she tells the other girls about what she’s doing on the mountain, and he perks up a little bit. In that instant, my body rattles like the echo of the bass just passed through me, only that can’t be right since there’s hardly any bass in this song.Holy shit—was that my heart?

Propping my elbows on my knees, I discreetly rub my hand over my chest, feeling the steady yet rapid thump coming from inside.Well, shit.I take a shaky breath as clarity washes over me, settling into my veins in a warm, comfortable hum.I’m in love. With both of them

Seeing the way Becca lightened Blake’s mood—instead of being jealous or upset that she could ease his pain when I couldn't, I felt relieved. Proud even. It was confirmation of my deepest belief—that the three of us are perfect for each other—which gives me hope that it’s only a matter of time before we can be done hiding.

Blake casts a quick glance my way—he must’ve felt me staring. He sucks in a breath when his eyes meet mine, and I’d be shocked if he doesn’t know exactly what I’m thinking right now. While this isn’t how I wanted him to find out, I don’t regret that he knows. I want him to.

I’m not sure how long we stare at each other. Too long, I’m sure. I can only hope everyone was too focused on the girls’ conversation to notice.

“You’re saying that even though I’m not a very strong rider, I’ll be able to do the green trails?” Cora asks Becca.

“Absolutely.” Becca bobs her head up and down. “Green trails are mostly just dirt—no obstacles and nothing technical—just a nice flowy ride.”

“You could do that.” Finn nudges Ally’s arm with his elbow.

“Icould,” she agrees. “But I’m not sure I will. Snow is much more forgiving than dirt.”

“Powder is. Hardpack though?” Becca shudders. “I’d rather fall on dirt.”

Everyone looks my way when I laugh, and I’m forced to admit I agree, which starts a debate about how we’d prefer to crash, biking or boarding. I’m not sure it makes Ally any more likely to get on a bike, but by the end of the evening both Cora and Tiff have agreed to ride with Becca, and that has our girl beaming. The only thing that would make the night better is if I could tell everyone she, and Blake, are mine.Soon – I hope, especially now that there’s no turning back for me.

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