Page 143 of His Greatest Muse

He’s mine for the rest of time. I can spare a few minutes.

* * *

NOAH

I stop in front of Maddox, and he nods instantly, already knowing what I want. Braxton smiles at me and rubs my brother’s arm before he kisses her quickly and turns to lead us out of the living room.

We move through the kitchen and toward the back patio. It’s hot outside, but even with the air conditioning, so is the house. There are too many people. Even when I was a kid, I didn’t like the big dinners my parents hosted. It was too much for me. I couldn’t take it. At twenty-five, I still can’t handle it.

Maddox opens the patio door and steps outside. Our house backs onto a few acres of land, making it private. The back deck was redone when we were kids and started getting slivers all the time. Some of the stain has faded since then, making it look worn.

We’re both tense when we sit on the top step. I pick at the skin beside my thumbnail and stare at the long grass curling around the bottom step, touching the toes of my socks.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I hate that question.”

“I know. But I want to know the answer, anyway.”

“I’m fine. I don’t feel it anymore.”

He leans forward with his elbows on his knees and nods. “Good. You haven’t been pushing too hard now that you’re back on tour?”

“Tinsley won’t let me play guitar yet,” I grumble.

His laugh hits me in the gut. It’s so carefree. I used to be jealous of his ability to be so relaxed. I’m not anymore. Tinsley likes me the way I am. That’s good enough for me.

“Sounds about right. She loves the fuck out of you, brother.”

“I know.”

“Do you love her too?”

I roll my jaw. “What is with this family’s obsession with that term?”

“I think most people enjoy talking about love. It’s not just us,” he defends.

“I don’t want to explain myself to you, Maddox. I already did to Dad.”

“Fair enough. You care about her, though. You always have. If you didn’t, there’s no way you’d have gotten that fucking face tattoo in her honour. Good God, you’re fearless. Both of you are.”

I ignore the dig at my tattoo. “I more than care about her. The way I feel about her goes beyond your comprehension level.”

He snorts. “Ouch. I forgot how ruthless you can be when it comes to Tiny.”

“You always liked to bother me about that.”

“I’m your big brother. Did you expect anything else?”

“I expected nothing from you. Maybe that was the problem.” When he remains silent, I wince, recognizing my error. “Sorry.”

He turns his head and stares at me, his green eyes sad. “Don’t apologize. I was a shit brother to you.”

“You and Dad are similar in most ways.”

“We are. I always thought you were jealous of that, so I was a douchebag to you more often than not. In a perfect world, I would have gotten over myself and attempted to get to know you better instead. But this isn’t a perfect world, and I didn’t do that. I let you drift away while criticizing your life choices instead. It was wrong of me. And I’m sorry.”

His confession settles on my chest like a foot, pressing down until it hurts. A good or a bad hurt, I don’t know. It makes my head swim.

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