Page 18 of Pregnant by the Texan
“Stella, this is my responsibility. I want to marry you.”
She closed her eyes for a moment as if he had given her terrible news. When she opened them to look up at him, she shook her head.
“Thank you, but no, we will not get married. I didn’t want you to know until I decided what I would do. I knew you would propose the minute you learned about my pregnancy.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that. Some women would be happy to get a proposal,” he said, wondering if she was thinking this through. “I’m not exactly repulsive to you or poor husband material, am I?”
“Don’t be absurd. There’s something huge that’s wrong with proposing tonight—within the hour you’ve discovered you’ll be a father. We’re not in love, Aaron. Neither one of us has ever said ‘I love you’ to the other.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t fall in love.”
She frowned and her lips firmed as she stared at him and shook her head. “There was no love between my parents. I don’t think there ever was,” she said. “They had the most miserable, awful marriage. There was no physical abuse or anything like that. There were just tantrums, constant bickering, tearing each other down verbally. My sister and I grew up in a tense, unhappy household. I don’t ever want to be in that situation. I’ll have to be wildly in love to marry someone. My sister and her husband are, and it’s a joy to be around them. They love each other and have a happy family. I couldn’t bear a marriage without love and I don’t want you to be in that situation, either. We’re not in love. We barely know each other. We’ll work this out, but marriage isn’t the way.”
He pulled her close against him to hold her while they stood there quietly. “Look, Stella, we’re not your parents. I can’t imagine either one of us treating the other person in such a manner.”
She stood stiffly in his arms and he felt he couldn’t reach her. He’d had his second shock when she turned down his offer of marriage. It didn’t occur to him that she wouldn’t marry him. Now there were two shocks tonight that hit him and left him reeling.
“You got pregnant when we were together in October,” he said.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He tilted her face up to look into her eyes. He caressed her throat, letting his fingers drift down her cheek and around to her nape. He felt the moment she relaxed against him. The stiffness left her and he heard her soft sigh.
“I didn’t want you to know yet,” she whispered.
“Maybe it’s best I do. We’ll work through this together,” he said.
As he looked into her wide blue eyes, he became more aware of her soft curves pressed against him. His gaze lowered to her lips and his heart beat faster as desire kindled.
“Stella,” he whispered, leaning closer. When his lips brushed hers, she closed her eyes.
He wrapped his arms more tightly around her, pulling her closer against him as he kissed her. It started as a tender kiss of reassurance. But then his mouth pressed more firmly against hers as his kiss became passionate. He wound his fingers in the bun at the back of her head and combed it out, letting the pins fall.
He wanted her. As far as he was concerned, their problem had a solution and it would only be a matter of time until she would see it. The moment that thought came to him, he remembered her strength in tough situations. If she said no to him, she might mean it and stick by it no matter what else happened.
She opened her eyes, stepping back. “Aaron, when we make love, I want it to be out of joy, not because of worry and concerns. Tonight’s not the night.”
Her hair had partially spilled over her shoulders and hung halfway down her back. A few strands were still caught up behind her head. Her lips had reddened from his kisses. Her disheveled appearance appealed to him and he wanted to draw her back into his embrace. Instead, he rested his hands lightly on her shoulders.
“You don’t have to be burdened with worry and concerns tonight,” he said. “We’re in this together.”
“Aaron, has anything ever set you back in your life?”
Her question was like a blow to his heart. She still hadn’t heard about Paula and Blake, and he still didn’t want to talk about them or his loss. Over the years, the pain had dulled, but it would never go away. Everyone had setbacks in life. Why would she think he had never had any? “All right, Stella. You want to be alone. I’ll leave you alone,” he said, turning to go. He had tried to do the right thing and been rebuffed for it.
“Aaron,” she said, catching up with him, “I know you’re trying to help me. I appreciate it. A lot of men would not have proposed. You’re one of the good guys.”
Realizing she needed time to think things through, he gazed at her. “I’m the dad. I’m not proposing just for your sake. It’s for mine, too. Stella, this baby coming into my life is a gift, not an obligation,” he said.
Her eyes widened with a startled expression and he realized she hadn’t looked at it from his perspective, other than to expect him to propose.
“We can do better than this,” he said, pulling her into his arms to kiss her again, passionately determined to get past her worries and fears.
For only a few seconds she stood stiffly in his arms and then she wrapped her arms around him, pressing against him and kissing him back until he felt she was more herself again and their problems were falling into a better perspective.
As their kiss deepened, his temperature jumped. He forgot everything except Stella in his arms while desire blazed hotly.
Leaning back slightly, he caressed her throat, his hands sliding down over her cotton blouse. He didn’t think she could even feel his touch through the blouse, but she took a deep breath and her eyes closed as she held his forearms. Her reaction made him want to peel away the blouse, but he was certain she would stop him. He slipped his hand to the top button while he caressed her with his other hand. As he twisted the button free, she clutched his wrist.
