Page 77 of A Very Merry Mistake

Maybe my father was right, and I don’t have what it takes to be like him.

My body is like gelatin as I lie in Jake’s arms on the fuzzy rug. The warmth of the fire feels incredible against my skin.

“I don’t want to get up,” I tell him, knowing we must.

He hums against my ear. “Let’s take a bath.”

I smile. “Can you carry me?”

Jake stands, slides his hands under my naked body, and does exactly that. I don’t know why I’m shocked that he can lift me with such little effort, but I am.

I giggle, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carries me down the hall. “So you really could have thrown me over your shoulder like a caveman and put me in your truck?”

“Did you doubt me?” He lifts a brow, then sets me down in the bathroom.

He turns on the water, adjusting the temperature, then holds his hand out for me. I saunter over, and he helps me slide down into the tub since I’m wobbly on my legs. I watch him as he walks away and then returns with several candles. After they’re lit, he flicks off the lights and approaches me.

His shadow dances on the wall as he slides in behind me.

The water is warm and relaxing, and Jake was right—I already feel where he was. I lean my back against his muscular chest as his legs and arms encapsulate me.

We don’t speak. I’m not sure what words I would say to him, anyway. Leaning forward ever so slightly, he grabs my loofah and soap, then carefully washes between my legs. I close my eyes, reveling in his gentle touch, not knowing what I did to deserve this experience but grateful for it nonetheless. No man has ever treated me as reverently as he does.

“How does that feel?” He’s so kind and attentive I may never leave this tub.

“Incredible. But I can’t help thinking I don’t deserve this.”

He kisses the back of my head. “If not you, then who?”

The question catches me off guard.

“You’re worthy of love, CeCe. And the sooner you accept that, the quicker you’ll stop dating assholes who don’t worship the ground you walk on.”

I suck in a deep breath. His words slice through me like a knife.

“It’s not about me, though. It’s about you deserving someone who can give you what you need.”

He exhales. “That’s the thing: you don’t understand what you bring to the table. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Fuck, I wish you could.”

“Jake,” I whisper. My emotions are a tangled mess. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He continues. “I’ve come to terms with my loneliness and accepted that it’s a byproduct of living in a small town. It’s the relationship card I’ve been dealt. But that doesn’t mean I won’t cherish the fuck out of every moment you’re here. Time is precious, and right now, there is no other person I’d rather be with than you, Claire. I’ll worry about what I’m missing when you’re gone.”

I sit up, the water sloshing, and meet his gaze.

He tilts his head. “Please don’t be upset.”

“There’s so much I wish I could tell you. But I don’t know where to start. I’m scared of falling for you. I’m scared that in January, I’ll leave and ruin your life. It’s just…” I swallow hard, not wanting to seem weak. “There are things in New York that I can’t walk away from.”

He nods slightly. “Is there someone else? If there is—”

“No.” I shake my head. “No. It’s my father.”

He tucks hair behind my ear, and I lean into his touch, wishing he knew the internal war I’m fighting. And it’s one I’ll ultimately lose, because I have no other choice. Staying in Merryville isn’t an option. We knew that when we started this and created those stupid rules. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Okay.” I nod, and I want to believe his words.

Jake uses his strong fingers to massage my shoulders. I’m so relaxed that I nearly fall asleep.

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