Page 25 of The Nephilim's Finesse

He walked to the chair he occupied earlier and placed it opposite me.

“State your question,” I invited him. I inhaled deeply, bracing myself for all those questions I didn’t want to answer. Raph gave me something that I never experienced before. I never thought that I would be able to feel this way, and I was grateful to him. I’d honour our deal just as he did. He was honest with me before. I’d be honest with him.

Raph took a long time to study me. “Why haven’t you had an orgasm before?”

I gawped at him. He had the chance to ask me anything, my plans, my allies, what the vampires would do next, and he wasted it on such an unimportant thing to know.

I shrugged. “I was raised with the belief that a woman shouldn't feel desire. She’s only there to be a vessel of the man's pleasure, to endure what is her duty. That she has to obey the man and serve him, not enjoy herself. That it is dirty, indecorous and unbecoming for a woman to seek rapture for herself.”

I remembered my mother telling me this repeatedly, after the rape, before my wedding night. As if I could have ever felt delighted with that monster.

Raph shook his head. “I’m afraid that’s not the answer to my question.”

I frowned. I had answered sincerely, and he thought I was lying. But his face was calm, not accusing, like he knew that I tried to answer truthfully, but I didn’t know the right answer myself.

“You were told that you had to obey and to serve men. Yet, you are the leader of the London vampires, ruling over men instead of serving them. You didn’t care what you were told in this case. Why should you care in the other? So, what was hindering you from seeking pleasure and having an orgasm?”

I tilted my head, thinking. He had a point. For a long time, I struggled to find my place, to overcome the beliefs and doctrines that were drummed into me. When I had my first experience with power, I liked it. I enjoyed it so much that I got drunk on it, feeling worthy of something, feeling like I had a purpose, something to justify my existence. I wanted to change something in the world and hone it a bit. With the guidance of my sire, that entailed destroying witches and killing as many magical beings as possible. For him, witches and warlocks were the root of all evil. Once I had my own experiences with them, I was convinced that his theory was true, and I backed him up completely.

“Unlike with power, I didn’t enjoy my experiences in that department.”

My eyes searched his for understanding, hoping he'd grasp the unspoken implication of my words without me having to explain it. He nodded. His sensual lips pressed tightly together. I sighed in relief, not having to voice those encounters. However, I knew that I had to, someday. He'd ask me to. Somehow, I wanted to tell him, but not now. Right now, I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to vanish in his strong arms and be protected from the images that wanted to surface. But I couldn't. He was the enemy; the last thing I'd do in front of him was show my vulnerability. A laugh threatened to escape my lips. Not ten minutes ago, I lay bare before him, giving him control over me, over my pleasure. I wasn’t deluded enough to think that I’d have reached the climax without him. I showed him my vulnerability, and he took it and encouraged me; not in a single moment had I felt as if he’d take advantage of me or of what had happened between us.

But now, dressed and with the endorphins fading, I knew this was only a business transaction. One climax for one answer. There were no sentimental feelings involved, and I wouldn’t let him play me. I guessed that I had just one or two questions, so I needed to focus.

“My turn. Assuming it’s true that a witch is pregnant by a Nephilim. How did that happen? It was thought impossible.”

Raph squinted his eyes. “Alissia and Nate fell in love with each other. Every time they got intimate, they exchanged a part of their aura. When the auras were half swapped out, Alissia became pregnant.”

So her red witch aura could interweave with his black Nephilim aura? I had never heard or read anything like this. As far as I knew, the aura of a magical being was nothing that could be changed, especially exchanged with another being. The connection between those two had to be very exceptional.

“Why didn’t anybody know that this was possible?”

“Some ancient texts suggested that those children were rare but very powerful. To prevent such births, witches, fae and Nephilim decided that they would forbid such a pairing and spread the rumour that it would be toxic to come near each other.”

“That must have been a long time ago,” I murmured, lost in thoughts. Those rules were long established when I was introduced into the magical world four centuries ago.

Raph rose. “See you tomorrow.”

Raph stepped into the room, and a whiff of washing soap hung in the air. He must have recently taken a shower. With him came a breeze of rain and fallen leaves into the room that had nestled in his short hair. Oh, how I missed the smell of rain and nature. Of the cold, damp earth that stuck to his boots, the cold air that promised frost or even snow. I wanted to bury my nose into his clothes and get more of those delicious aromas. Yet, I stayed seated, my face impassive as I subdued my longings.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Tell me what you want to do today.”

Thankful that he redirected me from my thoughts to my other desires, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and let the embarrassment wash over me. Feeling my cheeks get hot, I looked down.

“I want to come again.”

After I got a taste of what glorious feelings my body could generate, I wanted more. I wanted to feel this ever and anon. Yet, I didn't work anew after Raph left yesterday. It seemed that I needed his help again.

“By yourself…”

I shook my head. “No, with you,” I whispered. I felt like a slut. To voice my wishes was against all that I had experienced in my life. Never did anyone want to know what I wanted, not my parents, not my husband, not my sire, or any of my captors. The only ones who obeyed my wishes were my subjects, forced by their binding to me. However, to tell someone what I desired in this department was so new and full of insecurities. What if he laughed at my fantasies? Or be disgusted by them?

Raph stepped closer to me, his body towering over me. I was so small against him, but I felt safe somehow. Up close, I could smell his unique fragrance: the aroma of a warm summer evening drifted into my nose, the last sun's rays kissing my skin; the air saturated with a mix of piney shrubs, spicy herbs and lavender, and his unique scent of masculinity. I took a deep breath, drinking him in, and I felt myself relax. He had put me from winter into summer within two minutes.

Raph put his finger under my chin and lifted it carefully. I licked my lips while drowning in his brown eyes, which were dark with desire. His eyes shifted to my lips, he swallowed, and his pulse quickened. His full lips parted, and I wanted to feel them on mine, wanted to know if they felt as soft as they looked. He leant closer, our noses almost touching.

“You want me to touch you?” His deep voice sent a shiver through me.

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