Page 42 of The Nephilim's Finesse

“Three more locations.”

I looked away, my jaw clenched. I didn’t want to tell him anything else but knew refusing to answer wouldn’t be good. Additionally, I had to make the impression that I didn’t want to reveal them so he’d believe me. After a minute, I told him three more unimportant hideouts.

“I see.” He fell silent, staring at me with an unreadable expression. What was he thinking? Did he believe me, or would he force me to reveal any more locations? Why’d I care? I had endured endless torture, and now I was concerned about what Raph would do to me. Suddenly, I realised that he would hurt me if he broke his promise to me. He wouldn't hurt me physically, but emotionally. I didn’t want him to betray me. It had happened so often in the last centuries, and I should expect nothing else from a Nephilim, yet I trusted him, I realised at this moment. And I wanted him to trust me. I didn’t want him to be disappointed. I fidgeted under his gaze as he watched me, hating how exposed I felt. He could never know how I felt about him; still, I didn’t want to take any chances. After a long moment, I couldn’t stand the scrutiny anymore. “We’re done,” I snapped.

Raph studied me a moment longer before nodding. "Very well.” He stood, smoothing a hand down his shirt. "See you tomorrow."

As I sat in the corner of the dimly lit room, I couldn't help but feel conflicted about my feelings towards Raph. On the one hand, I loathed him for keeping me locked up like some kind of animal. But on the other hand, I couldn't deny my strange attraction towards him. It wasn't just his rugged good looks that drew me in, although they certainly didn't hurt. No, there was something deeper, something primal, that called out to me whenever he was near. I wanted to hate him, to hurt him for what he had done to me. But I also wanted to feel his touch, to be consumed by the fire that burned within him. Why had I developed feelings for him? Because he was the one who had made me come? I shook my head. This couldn’t be the only reason. No, it was the little things he did. Making sure I was comfortable, bringing me books that I liked, without having to tell him which ones. Nobody had given me gifts before. I had to think hard about someone who wanted me to feel comfortable. Eldred, maybe. But I was his master; this was part of his duties. Raph didn’t need to make me feel good, but it was more than that. He made me feel safe, like somehow, I belonged.

No, those thoughts had to stop. Raph was my enemy; he kept me here in this room as his prisoner. I hated him for that. Period.

However, I also wanted to be near him; a little devil in my mind reminded me. I didn't know if it was for strangling him or to be touched by him. No, I couldn’t go weak. Not in his arms, not ever. I had to get out of here, steal my heart, and play him so that he would release me. Raph had let me drink his blood; with his glance into my eyes and nod, he had consented to give me his powerful blood. It was delicious, just like I had guessed. The blood of magical beings was more nutritious than that of humans; it could sustain us longer, but unfortunately, we didn’t get mightier. Making himself vulnerable by letting me drink his life force showed that he became softer towards me. Surely, his feelings had changed too. However, I had to gain the upper hand and manipulate him, no matter how that made me feel. Being nice and considerate hadn’t kept me alive for centuries. I had to look out for my own; my goals were important, not the Nephilim’s.

12 Raph

I sat back in my worn leather armchair in our shared office and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander to my last visit with Victorija.

The scent of her skin, like summer fruit, sweet jasmine, and something wild and untamed, still lingered on my fingertips, and the taste of her arousal coated the back of my throat. With a quiet sigh, I shifted in my seat. The ache between my legs hadn't lessened in the hours since I'd last been with her.

Being with Victorija was unlike anything I'd experienced before. Not just the sex, though each encounter blew my mind in new ways, but the connection I felt with her. When I gazed into her emerald eyes, the rest of the world faded away. Her sarcastic humour and quick wit matched my own, and she never backed down from a challenge. Most importantly, she saw me for who I was—not as one of the leaders of the Nephilim—but as a man with flaws. And I had many of them.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. This couldn't continue. My duty was to my people, not my own selfish desires. No matter how much it pained me, I had to find a way to break this unhealthy obsession.

Victorija belonged to no one, and pursuing a romantic relationship with her would only end in heartbreak. With effort, I pushed thoughts of her from my mind and stood. There were preparations to make for the next meeting with Puriel and Nate. I couldn't afford any distractions. Still, I knew it was only a matter of time before I found my way back to her side. We were caught in each other's orbit, unable to break free of the gravitational pull. There was no use fighting fate.

I shook my head, trying to clear the cobwebs. How had things spiralled so far out of control?

At first, Victorija had only been a means to an end—a way to gain information about her people and their plans. Interrogating her had given me a thrill, breaking down her defences and rendering her powerless beneath me. Somewhere along the line, the power dynamics had shifted. Now, she was the one holding all the cards, though she didn't even realise it. One crook of her finger was all it would take to bring me to her side. I hated how weak she made me feel and how she clouded my judgement with lust and passion. I was the leader of the Nephilim, for fuck's sake. No matter how all-consuming it felt, I didn't have time for a romantic entanglement.

My jaw clenched as I remembered the way John's hands had roamed Victorija's body, his lips and teeth marking her pale flesh. He had accompanied me to her cell, helping me wring answers from her through pleasure. Now, the thought of him touching her made my blood boil. She was mine, and I didn't want to share. The jealousy was irrational but undeniable.

I stood and began to pace, raking a hand through my hair. I was in too deep, feelings and possessiveness overtaking my usual rationality. This couldn't continue. I had to find a way to break the connection before it was too late. No matter how much it hurt, Victorija could never be anything more than my prisoner. To believe otherwise was pure folly.

I paced the length of our office, wrestling with my thoughts. How could I possibly have feelings for Victorija? She was my enemy, a monster who had slaughtered countless of my kind, Luthriel. And yet, none of that seemed to matter when I was with her. Her touch ignited a fire within me; her lips wiped my mind blissfully blank. I craved her with an intensity that frightened me. This was madness. I had to stay focused on my mission: to extract the information I needed from her and end our miserable deal. But even as I told myself that, I knew the truth. I didn't want to let Victorija go. In truth, I wanted to keep her and claim her as my own, not just as my prisoner. Guilt and shame washed over me. How could I discard Luthriel, the love of my life? Or was she? Or had Victorija, her murderer, put it into perspective that it had been a strong love, but she hadn’t been the one? We Nephilim rarely fell in love, and if we did, it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I always thought Luthriel was the one for me. That I’d never feel like this again. But my feelings towards Victorija weren’t of that kind; they could never be. Maybe I should be grateful that she made me feel something after all those years when I was just empty inside. Somehow, I wanted to feel those new positive emotions the whole time, and that meant that I had to share my life with Victorija.

The idea was absurd. My people would never accept her, and she'd never give up on her quest for power. A relationship between us could never be. Still, what if there was a way? What if I could convince Victorija to change her ways, to rule by my side rather than against me? We were two of the most powerful beings in London—together, there was no limit to what we might accomplish; we could bring peace.

I shook my head, appalled at myself. Was I truly considering betraying my allies for a woman I should despise? Had I taken a leave of my senses? This was madness. I had to forget this ridiculous fantasy and remember my duty. Victorija was my prisoner, nothing more, and she always would be. No matter the cost to my traitorous heart.

On Christmas Eve, John and I stood before her, waiting to tell us what she wanted to do with us. Victorija sat in a chair like a queen, and although wearing a simple dress, her posture was regal.

“What’s on the menu tonight?” asked John, and her shoulders slacked, her face heating. It was so fascinating how this fierce woman could turn into a shy maiden in a heartbeat.

I wanted to know what was going on in her mind, what her fantasies were. I loved the little game we played. We complied when she had to tell us what she wanted to do. As Nephilim, we were very open to all kinds of sexual activities. I doubted that there was anything Victorija could think of that John and I wouldn’t be willing to try out if we hadn’t done it already on other occasions.

Victorija's crimson hair tumbled over her freckled cheeks as she averted her gaze, a hint of a fang peeking between her parted lips.

"I would like to...watch," she said hesitantly.

“What would you like to watch?” John tilted his head and smiled reassuringly at her.

She blushed even more, if that was possible. “I like to watch how you suck his…”

John grinned. “Yes?”

Victorija closed her eyes and pressed the word out. “Rod.”

I had to bite my lips so as not to laugh at the use of this particular word. Looking at me, John raised an eyebrow in question, and I bobbed my head in agreement. He knelt before me, his green eyes glinting up through thick lashes. With deft fingers, he unbuckled my belt and freed my hardening cock.

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