Page 84 of The Burnt Heart

Having a pile of them on top of you wasn’t something to sneeze at, either. I grinned to myself.

“To be honest, I figured you’d tell me more about how to feign confidence.”

Kinsley had peppered me with text messages since we met, determined to pick my brains about how to run her club. She was still shifty about how it all worked and how she got the role. But it was talking an adorable bunny into being a lion. Amusing.

“I don’t pretend. I am confident. How did you go with my little friend?” I drawled. Nicole hadn’t been forgiven or forgotten in the chaos of everything. There were too many eyes on me, so I rang Kinsley and asked if she could do me a favor.

“Don’t worry, you won’t ever be seeing her face again. Poor girl pissed herself.” Kinsley gave a decidedly evil laugh. Perhaps there was hope for her yet.

“What did you do?” I waved Lara in as she paused in my doorway.

“We showed her our teeth,” Kinsley hummed, coy. I said my goodbyes to the Crimson Claw president with my thanks. Lara settled into the seat opposite me, crossing her legs.

“That’s a heavy look,” Lara pointed out. I smirked at the tennis bracelet glinting on her wrist.

“Perhaps I’m just jealous that when my men pissed me off, I didn’t get diamonds,” I joked.

“I will not say no to sparkly rocks.” She shrugged sheepishly at my arched eyebrow.

I held up my hands. Things between us had been tense for a moment before she explained to me what had happened with Chief Goldman. The man might have spoken about morals, but for love – they could always be bent. It also meant I had theauthorities back on side, which was another boon after news leaked about the death of my father.

“No judgement here honey, take him for all he’s worth. Have you decided what you’re going to do about your group of guys? I still cannot believe you corrupted Chief Goldman? Don’t let him get too close to your heart unless you’re completely sure.”

“Like you?” Lara quipped as she crossed her legs. A faint flush at my insinuation. She was still navigating her unconventional relationship. Three men were vying for her attention, and they could not be from more different worlds. I paused for a second, chewing my lip. I’d crashed with Lara again after everything that had happened. Said I needed space, but I was a coward.

Cut them loose or take them back. Those were my choices. And I had made it the second I’d seen the barrel pointed at Logan. I had cemented it over this past month as they continued their relentless pursuit. Like the rings on their fingers, they were tattooed on my heart.

They hurt me, and I hated them for that. But underneath the toxic black tendrils was a deep history, one that I missed. Desperately. The taste I’d had while living with them again had left me ravenous for more. After all we’d been through, I at least understood their motives.

“I imagine them with other people, and it fills me with the worst pain. I imagine myself with someone else and I can’t stomach it.” A grimace tightened my lips.

“It will take time to heal, to move on from them.” Lara hummed, misunderstanding me. A shock rush of tears stung the back of my eyes.

“I don’t want to,” I admitted. The dates we’d been on had proved it to me. When I could put my hurt and bitterness in a box, it was so right between us. They were all trying so hard to prove their love. But I didn’t know how to move past what had happened.

“What do you want?” Lara cocked her head, eyes shrewd. The little witch. She’d goaded me into admitting it aloud. Now that the words were out, my chest felt lighter.

“I want to go back to the way it was before. Before a greedy man played us all like fools and tore us apart.”

“No, you don’t,” Lara scoffed. My forehead scrunched at her disbelieving tone. “The love you had was drowning under secrets. You were trying so hard to keep your life from touching them. They were trying so hard to become worthy of what they thought you needed. All the darkness, all the insecurities have been dragged out in the light now. You can finally process them, instead of pretending everything was perfect.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that love isn’t enough sometimes.” A haunted look passed over her face, like she spoke from experience. “You could have all the love in the world, but if you carry self-destructive tendencies? It will never work. All of you were chipping away at your relationship, slowly but surely. They blew it up, but honestly, I don’t think it would have lasted.”

A soft gasp fell from my lips, and I rubbed my aching chest. The room tilted, like the axis it sat on shifted.

“You honestly think that?” I breathed.

“On your anniversary dinner, you sat there for hours, waiting for them to show up. But afterwards, you didn’t even confront them. The Adelaide Orazio I know would have cut their balls off and made them like it. What you have in your heart is the foundation, but it doesn’t stop there,” Lara spoke with a seriousness I didn’t expect from her. She fidgeted with her bracelet, as if worried she’d overstepped.

“I don’t know what to do,” I cried, throwing my hands up. Lara met my wide eyes with a shake of her head.

“You do, but you’re scared.” She stood up from her seat. “Now, let’s get going because we have a meeting at Calder Place, andI need you to review the artwork that’s installed. It’s not the original one you signed off on, but I think you’ll like it.”

I sighed and grabbed my bag, my phone buzzing in my palm.

Hope you like the flowers. We love and miss you so much. Have the best day <3.

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