Page 11 of Heal Me

I rub my cheek against his beard. “Beard oil? Isn’t that to soften your beard?” Itisincredibly soft. “It seems to work.”

Gunnar’s hands slowly drift up my back, pulling me flush against his chest. “Yes. But it smells good, too.”

I hum appreciatively. “One more question. This one is a bit personal.” I nip at his earlobe. “Left or right side of the bed?”

Gunnar huffs out a breathy laugh. “Middle mostly, since I sleep alone. But my alarm clock is on the right side of the bed. So I guess right.”

Without warning, I’m flat on my back, Gunnar’s big body hovering over me. “Okay, your turn.” I close my eyes and arch into him, sliding my fingers through his hair as he kisses along my throat. “What do you wear underyourtrousers?”

I try for unaffected and fail miserably as my words come out rough and needy. “Why are you assuming I wear anything?”

Gunnar grins against my skin, and it makes me smile. “Because you don’t seem the type to go commando.”

I huff out a laugh because he’s not wrong. Just the thought makes me squirm, which presses my quickly hardening cock against his hip. I moan and grip his hair harder. “Boxer briefs.”

He licks a line up my neck, and my whole body shivers with pleasure. “And what do you sleep in?”

I press his mouth against my neck. “In the winter, sweatpants and T-shirts. In summer, shorts and tees.”

“Cologne?”

“The new one by Tom Ford. God, I can’t think of the name right now.“ And who could blame me? I’m overwhelmed with Gunnar’s weight, scent, lips, and I want more. He chuckles and mouths kisses along my jawline. “Fine. Left.” Unfortunately, that response makes him stop what he’s doing. I am not happy about it and whine my displeasure. “What?”

He pulls back and stares down at me. “I was going to ask the same thing. What question was ‘left’ supposed to answer?”

“Which side of the bed I sleep on. In my bed, it’s the left because it’s closest to the bathroom. I have to sleep on whichever side is closest. It’s been that way ever since I was little.”

Gunnar looks like he wants to devour me, and I’m absolutely willing to let him. I wrap my arms around his body and pull him down so every inch of him is pressed against me again. “Kiss me, please.”

He grins. “How can I refuse?”

With infinite care, Gunnar’s soft lips brush slowly against mine. He smells so damned good, and I love how his weight presses me into the couch. It’s comforting and possessive, and I move to hook a leg over his hip, but he pulls back, untangling himself and sitting back on the couch. I scramble up, concerned that I’ve done something to upset him. “What’s the matter?”

Gunnar actually blushes and looks embarrassed. “Joce, I like you.” He takes my hand and rubs the knuckles.Merde, this is not good. “I really like you. And kissing you? God, it’s amazing. And you have no idea how difficult this is for me.” No, no, no, no. Please, no. “But you’re really good friends with my sister, and you’re friends with my bosses.”

I sigh, anticipating the “let’s keep things platonic” speech. Why are the really sweet, gorgeous ones never interested? I back up, putting space between us. “I understand. It’s fine.”

Gunnar moves closer. “Joce, listen to me.” He looks me right in the eyes, and I can’t look away. “I just want to take things slowly. Okay? We barely know each other, and though I’m not opposed to hookups, I don’t want that to be what this is.” He laughs. “Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying this.” He wraps my hand in both of his. “I’d really like to get to know you before we… before we get too physical.”

I blink. Then I blink again. That isn’t what I expected him to say. That is… well, it’s incredibly sweet, and I kind of melt. Gunnar’s earnest expression, tinged with a small bit of concern and embarrassment, makes me want to pull him into my arms and tell him it’s all fine.Merde. “As much as I’d love to argue against it, that’s actually very sweet, and quite honestly, probably a responsible idea. But we should clarify a few definitions, so we’re on the same page.”

Gunnar’s shoulders relax, and he smiles gratefully. “Always the lawyer, huh? But that’s a good idea.”

“Right. So…” I put my free hand over his. “Does that mean we’re going to date? Or something else?” I really hope he says date, but I could settle for something else.

He doesn’t immediately answer, and in my experience, that’s not a good sign. I’m more than a little surprised by how much that disappoints me. However, tonight only happened because Gunnar was being nice. I practically threw myself at him, both at the winery and here on my sofa. And of course, he kissed me back. He can be attracted to me and still not want to date. Plus, we need to make things as believable as possible, and being comfortable with physical intimacy is required to make that happen.

Gunnar clears his throat, derailing my thought spiral. “Which do you want it to be?”

“That’s a non-answer, Gunnar.” But I’m also putting him on the spot when I’m clearly the one pushing the issue. “You know what? Never mind. I’m confusing things. I apologize.”

He shakes his head. “No, you’re not. Not really. This is confusing for me, too. It obviously started as fake, but…” He trails off and drags his hand through his hair. “How about it’s whichever you want it to be?”

I blink, not expecting that. A million butterflies take flight in my chest, and my hands shake in my lap. It’s like I’ve never dated anyone before, which isn’t completely untrue. I’ve had a few boyfriends. A long time ago. “What if I want us to date?” I glance over at him, trying to read his expression. My nerves attempt to get the better of me, but I’m in this far, I might as well jump in with both feet. “I really like you, Gunnar. You’re sweet and gorgeous, and when you kiss me…Mon dieu, the way you kiss me makes my toes curl. We also laugh a lot, and that’s incredibly important in my book.“ He’s watching me intently, and I don’t know him well enough to determine if he’s being nice and letting me talk or trying to come up with a way to let me down easy. “I’d really like to see more of you.” I squeeze my eyes closed and want to slap myself on the forehead. “That didn’t come out right. I’d like to see you again. For dates.” I start to laugh. “Not that Iwouldn’tlike to see more of you. I mean, look at that body.“ I gesture at him with my free hand. “Christ.”

Gunnar’s chuckle eases any remaining concerns. His hand lands on my thigh and squeezes. “I like spending time with you, too. You make me laugh, and I think you’re incredibly sexy and adorable, and I definitely would love to date you.”

I nod, trying to rein in the butterflies. “Alright. Next thing, then, is defining what you’re okay with, physically. We can always reassess when you’re ready.”

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