Page 39 of Prove You Wrong

‘To prove I’m fun?’ It comes out as a question as I toe a stone on the ground.

‘To who?’

I take a deep breath and puff out everything I’m thinking, all at once. ‘My sister. Myself. Who am I kidding? This is such a bad idea. I’ve never been fun. I’m sensible. I make good, safe decisions. I look after my sister, I work, help at home. I don’t have time for fun.’

Maybe that’s why I agreed to it. Nate was fun and he was absolutely not a good or safe decision.

‘Well … go have fun. And by fun I mean sex. Lots and lots of sex.’

‘Josie!’ I scan around for potential eavesdroppers even though I know people on the street can’t hear her.

‘It’ll do you a world of good.’

Visions of the other night flash into my head, sending a pulse to my core. ‘It’s just a bit of fun,’ I repeat, not sure who I am trying to convince.

After we hang up, I take a second and try to focus on my breathing. That sensation of almost boiling over reduces back to a simmer.

I can do this. I can be fun. I deserve fun. I can make time for me.

My phone buzzes in my hand, the screen lighting up with a stream of messages.

Boris: Where are you?

Boris: You’re needed in the office.

Boris: Now.

Nate

Holy fuck balls. She agreed.

‘You were right, man,’ I call out to Chunk. My voice hoarse from just having woken up.

‘Usually,’ he deadpans. ‘What specifically?’ Chunk comes and leans on my doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

Reclined on my bed, I hold up my phone. ‘Ella said yes to a date.’

The clock says ten. By the time I usually wake up in the morning, most people have been up for hours, so Ella won’t have realised texting her was the first thing I did. That she was the first thing on my mind. Has been for days.

‘Perseverance, my friend. The secret of all triumphs.’

‘Is that one of your military quotes?’ I sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes with my palms.

‘It’s Victor Hugo. You should read more,’ he tuts. ‘I’m heading out to The Wreck in a bit.’ He turns to leave but swivels back. ‘You still okay to check the illuminations for me this week?’

‘Yeah, doing it tomorrow.’

‘Thanks.’ He drums on the doorframe. ‘Let me know how I can repay you. You know, like taking you on full time … ’

‘Dude. Thanks, but you know — ’ I yawn. ‘Not sure that's the best idea you’ve ever had.’

‘Just because you failed at one thing, doesn’t mean you’ll fail at everything.’

Simultaneously failing all my Sports Science and Business modules at uni isn’t quite failing at ‘one thing’, but I appreciate his sentiment. However, it’s too early to start dissecting the time everything went spectacularly wrong for me. It’s too early to admit that, ever since, I’ve avoided putting myself out there. Why risk another chance of failure or rejection?

Although I’ve not been awake long, my mind starts whirring. ‘Actually. There is a thing.’ I take a swig of water from the glass on my bedside table. ‘Could I borrow one of the summer treehouses?’

‘For overnight?’ He scowls. ‘They’re no way near ready yet. Far too cold. And if you try and light a fire in a treehouse, so help me, I will burnyoudown.’

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