Page 55 of Prove You Wrong

‘But what’s the point? I mean, what does he want?’ I twiddle my hair with my free hand. ‘He had the chance of a hookup and rejected it. So what does he want?’

‘I don’t know, Ells. Maybe he had fun too? Maybe he wants to get to know you better? Maybe he likes you? Maybe he wants more?’

Josie’s diagnosis hangs heavily in the air. Did I even have the head space for more than a hookup? I’d gone down this hedonistic road on Josie’s recommendation to let off some steam. Scratch an itch, as she so prettily put it. But the whole ‘more’ side of things is uncharted territory.

‘I’m not in the market for more,’ I hiss. ‘I can’t — ’

‘Don’t give me that bull about leading by example to your sister,’ Josie interrupts.

‘Someone has to.’ My voice kicks up a few notches. ‘The number of dick exes my mum’s had … I can't introduce another guy to her life. I can’t risk her getting let down, thinking it’s okay to be let down.’

‘Don't you think showing her everyone deserves love, and that life is short so seize the day, are better lessons?’

‘You make a compelling argument. But this isn’t love,’ I bite out. ‘It’s raw lust.’

‘But lifeisshort, sweetie. It can’t be lust or love or anything if you shuteverything down.’ She takes a deep breath.‘Take it slowly. I’m not saying you have to introduce him to your sister and your mum right away. It’s not like you have to invite him round for dinner.’

I blanche at the thought. Mum’s boyfriends never stuck around much once it came tomeeting the family. They were usually more interested in their motorbikes than family meals.

Josie must take my silence as reluctance as she adds, ‘Sorry, forget about all that. Don’t overanalyse. Just go for you. For the fun. Letting your hair down should be up there with taking a lunch break. It’s a basic human right, like you said.’

‘Hmmm.’ I remain noncommittal and do my best to change the subject. ‘How about you? Any updates for me about your sexy zombie. You’re being awfully secretive.’

‘We didn’t get much talking done the other night, but we did organise a date. Maybe I’ll have some news for you after that.Youjust focus on you and Nate. Text him. Go for it!’

After our chat, I stare through the huge window of the bistro at the people inside having fun on their lunch breaks, popping out for a bite without overthinking everything.

Josie’s always bloody right.

With her encouragement still ringing in my ears, I send Nate a text.

Ella: OK. This Wednesday?

I can see the dots rippling as he composes a reply.

But then … nothing.

Perplexed and disappointed, I set off back to my desk.

What’s wrong with me? I only wanted a hookup and now I’m getting twitchy over him returning my texts.

As I step back through the front door of my office, my phone vibrates. The first part of Nate’s message displays on the locked home screen.

Nate: Sorry, I can’t do Wednesday…

‘Where have you been, Ella?’ My boss is suddenly right by me, eyesbulging.

‘I … er … lunch?’ Flustered, I mix up my words. My thumb poised over the screen, pin-code half entered.

‘Come on now, stop playing on your phone on company time.’ He brandishes some files. ‘You’ve got work to do.’

Tapping back to locked mode, I put away my phone and follow him reluctantly.

There’s got to be more to life than this.

Now I’ve had a small taste of freedom, albeit pathetic lunch breaks, I crave more.

More freedom.

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