Page 10 of There I Find Patience

Her mom knew all about Mark, so Pam didn’t want to say anything else. If she mentioned that she and Mark were an item, her mom might ask her about it the next time she was in town, and Mark was the only one of her friends who didn’t avoid her like she had the pox when her mom was around.

“There is?” Her mom’s voice couldn’t have been more shocked. “Who? When do I get to meet him? How serious are you? Are you together?”

“No,” she said and then rolled her eyes. She’d never done anything like this in her life before, never insinuated that there was someone when there really wasn’t anyone. Never considered what she had just thought about with Mark.

She recoiled from the thought, even as she thought that it might be...okay. And technically speaking, she was kind of living with him. In the same house, even if it was a duplex.

Still, she couldn’t even go there with her mom. Or with anyone. She didn’t want to lie.

“No. Nothing like that.”

“I want to meet him at any rate. How soon can I? The girls and I might cancel our plans for today, and we could come up.”

“No, Mom. It’s nothing like that.”

So all of the things that her mom had been telling her didn’t have to happen. In other words, they could have come and visited with her. Even as she thought that, she realized she could go over. She didn’t have to stay here. There was nothing keeping her. Not since she quit her job. Nothing keeping her other than a lot of work, an inn that needed to be repaired so she could start making money with it.

“All right. Well, if you change your mind. Let me know.”

“Mom. About my inheritance.”

“When you’re married, we’ll talk.” Her mom’s voice was firm, and she said the words slowly and clearly. “I love you, sweetie. Gotta run.” Her mom hung up the phone.

Pam checked her screen, just to be sure, before she dropped her hand beside her and breathed out a sigh of frustration as she looked over the water.

That call did not go the way she hoped it would.

The complicated relationship between her and her mom, and now her and her daughters and her mom, made her want to give up.

Her mom had helped her when her kids were growing up. She’d provided financial assistance any time Pam needed anything, which hadn’t been often. She’d paid for several vacations, but Pam hadn’t asked for that. It had been something her mom had wanted to do, and the four of them had had a good time.

Her mom could be fun, but it was so easy to make her angry that being with her could sometimes be...like walking on a landmine.

Usually looking out at the lake, watching the waves roll in, soothed her soul and reminded her that God was in control.

She supposed it still did today, but she couldn’t help but wonder what in the world God was thinking. Or maybe, she should be wondering how in the world she’d managed to mess things up so badly. She thought she was doing exactly what God wanted her to do. How could she work at a place where she couldn’t even mention the word Jesus? Unless she was using it as a swear word?

There was no way she could stay in a place like that. Right? God surely didn’t want her to stay there. How could she be a missionary when she couldn’t talk about Jesus?

But now that she quit, she wasn’t sure whether maybe she hadn’t been too hasty and done the wrong thing.

Buying the inn... It seemed like a really good thing to do. Another thing that she’d been thinking about for years, and God seemed to nudge her about, but yet... Look where she was. Jobless, with an inn that was going to need a lot of money, or else it was going to be a waste of the money that she already spent. It had taken every cent of her savings to purchase the inn. At least she didn’t have a payment.

With that thought, she decided that maybe walking up the beach and going to see the inn might make her feel a little better. Although, it was just as likely to make her feel overwhelmed. Regardless, she turned to her left and started down the beach.

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