Page 21 of There I Find Patience

“So I don’t know what you’ve been thinking, but I’ve been praying about this, thinking about it, and Luke isn’t the first person I asked something along those lines. I... I can’t believe what a peace I have about it. But I said to myself that I wasn’t going to push you. If you have any doubts at all, I don’t think we should do it.”

“I actually can’t wait. I was really hoping you would come to the same conclusion. Because I thought the same thing. I wasn’t going to push you into it. But I have no doubts at all.”

She had a little bit of a longing for romance, should she admit that?

Like he could tell there was something bothering her, he asked, “Is there anything at all that you feel might be an issue?”

“I guess I was watching Luke and Kristin, and I love the way they act together. I’ve always wanted that. And that’s the only negative feeling I had. That, if we do this, I guess I’m giving that up. The idea of having someone to cuddle with, someone to share those secret smiles and laughter that only lovers do. You know?”

She and Mark hardly ever talked about anything like that. Their relationship just didn’t include romance at all.

“You know, it’s funny, I wouldn’t admit this to just anyone, but I was feeling the same thing. I believe what I told you yesterday about romance ruining friendships, but maybe... Maybe after we’ve been married for a little bit, it could be something that we can talk about again?”

“That’s taking a bit of a chance, but it’s only a small chance in my opinion, and it’s totally worth it.”

“I guess I have to agree with you there. You can’t really make a decision and think that there’s only positives associated with that decision. This is just something that we’re going to have to chance. Honestly, I’m comfortable with you.”

She hadn’t realized it, but he had moved a little bit closer, and after he said that, he put his hand on her shoulder.

It felt different. He’d never really touched her before. Not on purpose, not...as anything more than a friend. Maybe this wasn’t that, but it felt a little bit more intimate. Anytime they’d been on the porch in the dark, they hadn’t sat close enough that they could even hold hands. And there he was touching her.

She considered her options. Then, holding her breath, feeling her heart beat hard and swift in her chest, she lifted her hand and moved slowly until it settled lightly down on his leg.

It was hard, warm, and it felt solid and strong under her fingers.

She didn’t allow her fingers to move, but they wanted to.

She held her breath and waited for him to speak. For her, yeah. This definitely was okay.

“I think we might be making the right decision.” That was all he said, and she wasn’t entirely sure of what exactly that meant, other than he was okay with it too. Whether he liked it, whether he thought that there could be something more than friendship in their relationship, she wasn’t sure.

“All right then. I’m ready to do it if you are.” She couldn’t help it, her fingers tightened just a little on his leg, and his breath hitched.

She wasn’t sure why, but that sound made it so that her heart hammered even faster, and her own lungs felt like they couldn’t get enough air.

Maybe, maybe this was going to work out after all.

---