Page 118 of Tall, Royal and Grumpy

“Look at me.”

“Kai, please. Let me go.” Her voice cracked and my heart broke all over again.

“No.” I cupped her jaw in one hand. “I can’t let you go.” With a gentle touch, I guided her to turn to me. “You’re asking the impossible of me, Babble.”

She gave up resisting and finally raised her gaze, nearly killing me with the liquid desolation brimming in it. “You have to. You have to. This is all my fault…”

“What?” My brows knitted together. “How on Neves is this your fault, Esmeralda? You’re more the victim in this than any of us.”

“It was my truth—”

“Exactly!” I lifted my other hand to her cheek too, tilting her face up to mine. “It is your truth to tell who you wish and keep from who you wish. No one had any right to secretly record it and use it to manipulate you, when in all of this, you have done nothing wrong.”

Fisting my jumper, she jostled me in a tired shake. “But they’re not trying to use it to manipulate me. They are using it to hurt you!” A breath shuddered out of her, all her strength seeming to slip away. “They’re trying to hurt the people I love. Kareem. You. And I can’t…”

Somewhere inside me I acknowledged what she said for what it was. My Babble loved me. But the moment hurt too much to feel what she was saying instead of hearing what she was trying to do.

Put distance between us.

“Don’t you see, Kai?” Her voice grew watery and thick. “I told you my illegitimacy would cause you trouble and look what happened. Someone is using it to threaten you—”

“Why are you acting as if I’m the only one who could be hurt in all of this?” I said angrily. “It affects you more than me, Esmeralda.”

“I know that,” she snapped back, pushing my hands away from her face. And fuck, that hurt more than anything. That she didn’t want me to touch her or comfort her when she was clearly distraught. “But I have been prepared for it to affect me for over a decade now. You haven’t been. You never asked to deal with this—with any of my lies. It was never your problem to bear.”

I framed her waist in my hands and lifted her up onto the countertop, bringing her face closer to mine. Bringing her closer to me as I nudged her legs apart and stood between them. “You are not a problem, Esmeralda,” I growled, keeping my hands around her hips. “Neither is your illegitimacy. It makes no difference to who you are or how I feel about you. And I will never let anyone judge you because of it nor blame anyone you care about for it. Because despite what you seem to think, the moment you trusted me with your truth, I vowed to protect it for you and never let you deal with the burden of it alone. Ever. And that is my choice, Esmeralda.”

The first heart-wrenching tear rolled down her reddened cheek as she shook her head. “You can’t take on the world for me, Kai. It’s bigger and louder and meaner, and people will never stop judging you because of me no matter what you say. And I can’t let you choose that.”

Words failed to get past my gritted teeth for a breath. “You told me you hated it when your brother always said it was about other people. And now that’s exactly what you’re using to try to push me away?” Maybe my accusation was a bit harsh or hurtful, but after everything, she should have been picking me, loving me, letting me protect her, not trying to break up with me.

She lowered her wet eyes. “Maybe there was some truth in what he said after all.”

A spear, a knife, a sword, and a dagger flew through my heart all at once. Cutting me, maiming me, unleashing an agonising heat from behind my ribcage until it was so fucking hard to breathe.

“So, what?” I heard myself rasp. “You’re going to break up with me because of something that hasn’t even happened yet?” She winced, but she didn’t correct me. My hands fell away from her waist, devoid of strength. “What happened to all the things you said about never intentionally hurting me? About protecting me and being there for me?” My voice clotted in my throat as the back of my nose stung. “Didn’t you mean what you said?”

She bit down on her trembling lip as tears slid down her cheeks. “I did.”

“Then why are you trying to leave me?”

“I don’t want to leave you,” she sobbed, her hands flattening around the base of my neck, pulling me closer even as she was verbally pushing me away. “But Kai—”

“Then stop this. Stop trying to break up with me.”

“Kai—”

“No, Esmeralda. Listen to me.” I fit my palms against her damp cheeks. “We’re a couple. That means if you promised to protect me and be there for me, then I promised you the same thing. And I know you’re scared, Babble—I am too—but you are not allowed to take those rights away from me. I am here for you, and I am going to protect you from whoever is trying to hurt you.”

“It’s not just about the videos, Kai.”

“For now, it is. There’s only the recording, that is it. Nothing else.”

“Kai—”

“You’re worried about me, Babble, but I am worried about you. Your tears, your pain, your truth in someone else’s hands other than your own—it is killing me. And I will not stand for it. I won’t let whoever did this get away with it.”

“Kai, please.”

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