Page 124 of Tall, Royal and Grumpy

10.30 to 12

Trevor

But what happened?

Kai

I’ll tell you tomorrow

Chapter Thirty-Five

ESMERALDA

I didn’t sleep that night. It was the torture I deserved.

I listened to the wounded voice of the man I loved while he told me he was fixing the problem I had created, and I still hadn’t run right it into his arms. I had left him outside on his own instead, fearing how he could be hurt because of my secret.

That either made me a coward or it meant I cared about him more than I did about myself. Nothing, however, changed the fact I was hurting him anyway by staying away, and that made me the biggest idiot in all of Neves.

But a lifetime of fear had knocked me to the floor with a winding blow and it was hard to stand straight back up. I couldn’t rely solely on Kai to pull me up either. I had to stand up myself.

Saying that, one sleepless night away from him and I ached all over with exhaustion. As if my body had forgotten that I had struggled to sleep most nights for the last eight years.

The exhaustion didn’t fade by lunch, but I went down to the dining hall with Kareem. I was hoping to see Kai. I wanted to apologise and hold him and talk to him. I wanted to ask him about what he’d told Shehryar in his office about the girl who had bugged his room.

But he wasn’t there. And I was forced to eat and pretend everything was okay for the sake of hiding the entire mess from the royals of Shah.

“What? When?” I asked Kai’s equerry, Michael, after I found him near the palace kitchen with his pastry chef husband, Roger.

“About an hour before lunch was served,” Roger answered, glancing to Michael for agreement.

“Yes.” Michael nodded firmly; his boyish features turned down in a frown. “Prince Kai came to the kitchen earlier for a bottle of water and a protein bar. I don’t know what he said to Pierre, but Pierre seemed tense when he told Nur that he needed to take half a day’s emergency leave. They left together and Prince Kai had his own car keys with him. Oh—and Rocco, Gary, and Earl from Prince Kai’s security team were waiting in the corridor.”

“Oh,” I breathed and received a mixture of pitying and concerned looks. “Thank you for telling me.”

On my way up to my room, I pulled out my phone, tempted to message Kai and ask where he’d gone with Pierre. But the nagging voice in my head made me feel like I had no right to, so I didn’t.

Still, I typed, deleted, and re-typed a dozen messages while I paced the length of my room, wanting to say something but everything sounded wrong. I couldn’t start a conversation we needed to have in person over the phone. But the thought of sitting around and doing nothing made anxiety gnaw at my ribcage, so I pulled my laptop out and started researching.

Spy cameras. Hacking. Tracing emails. At some point, I opened the speech I had written years ago for this exact situation—when my truth came out and I finally had to face the world.

I was on my third re-read and edit when a steady knock came at my door. “My dear, it’s me,” Mama Katiya said from the other side.

Closing my laptop, I then shuffled to the edge of the bed and hobbled over on a numb foot. The warmth in her pale green gaze and motherly smile met me the moment I opened the door, untangling some of the knots in my chest. I nudged it shut and she engulfed me in an embrace.

“Dearest. What are you doing in here all alone?”

I sunk into her soft curves, every breath coming easier than the previous one the harder she squeezed me. “I was just on my laptop.” A smile touched my mouth. “You smell like Prince Arsh.”

“That, I—well, I…” She huffed a defeated sigh. “That is what happens when you find out the man you love has an incessant need to touch you and hug you at every chance he gets.” The laugh lines around her mouth deepened with a reluctant sort of delight as she pulled back from our hug. “Now that I’m not insisting on hiding our relationship, he doesn’t see the need to behave anymore. Not that it bothers me—it’s very flattering actually. But I had to pry myself out of his arms so that I could come find you. One more minute and…” She cleared her throat, her eyes sparkling impishly. “Well, our next destination would have been a bed.”

“Mama Katiya.” I chuckled, wrinkling my nose.

“Don’t you Mama Katiya me, dearest Princess. As if that isn’t exactly what you and Prince Kai have doing too.”

The abrupt reminder of the sex tape in those emails killed my grin and she winced. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. That was entirely the wrong thing to say at this moment.”

I managed to resurrect half my smile. “No, don’t apologise. You’re not wrong.”

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