Page 47 of Tall, Royal and Grumpy

I pulled in a breath, trying to find my voice. “I meant.” I gulped. “I meant that I…like you…in that way. I’m attracted to you. Emotionally and uh, physically.”

Kai’s shoulders sunk on an exhale. “You are?”

I blinked. Wait. He sounds relieved.

His fingers slipped away from my chin. “Since when?”

Ah, damn. I have to explain that too?

“Um…” I winced a little, my cheeks stinging hot all over again. “Since I was sixteen…”

It took a moment for comprehension to pass over his face but when it did, he reeled back. “What? Since you were sixteen? But that was…”

I nodded, wincing harder. “Like seven years ago. I’ve had a crush on you for seven years. Well, nearly seven years. I was technically almost seventeen then. At Kareem’s first coronation anniversary party. You were with Fay and the twin princes of Prio, and it was the first time I noticed how attractive you were—are.

“But I wasn’t just physically attracted to you, I liked the way you acted—I mean, just the way you were. Although spending time with you over these last few days, I realised that wasn’t completely you. And the more I got to know you, the more I realised I was so much more attracted to this version of you. My feelings for you grew and I…well…you know what happened after that…”

The silence was piercingly loud after my unnecessarily detailed explanation. I wanted to disappear into thin air. I was ten-times more embarrassed than I had been about a minute ago.

When he finally moved I almost flinched, barely able to look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I never really found the chance to. And I was younger than you—I am younger than you, and it’s never bothered me, but it probably would have bothered you…and others.”

He winced like he just realised that our six-year age gap would have made things weird if I’d confessed when I was younger. “Plus, I doubt you would have taken a confession from a teenager seriously anyway. Especially considering you were with Meg then too.”

His jaw visibly clenched and unclenched, and I didn’t like it. It wasn’t jealousy, I just didn’t like the pained look on his face that her name put there at all. She was clearly his ex-fiancée for a reason.

For so long, Kai quietly contemplated what I said, and layer upon layer, the fear and anxiety built up inside me. Heavy weights sunk through me as doubts crept in.

Was he thinking of a way to let me down gently? Was this the end of my chance? Had I ruined our friendship? Had we ever really been friends? Would he ever talk to me again after this?

Kai sighed, running a slow hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to say.”

I shook my head quickly. “You don’t have to say anything. Really. I wasn’t telling you to hear anything back from you. I just wanted you to know. But if it bothers you, you can just forget about it. We can act like it never—”

“No,” he said instantly. “No, it doesn’t bother me. And I’m not going to act like it never happened. I’m just…surprised. Nothing you did ever gave away what you felt, so I’m surprised. That’s all.”

“Are you sure? Because we really can pretend—”

“Yes, I’m sure, Esmeralda.” He shuffled closer, his brows slipping low. “If anything, what bothers me is that you have been ignoring me.”

I pursed my lips together sheepishly. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I was avoiding you.”

“Either way, I didn’t appreciate it. I would rather you have talked to me in the morning than driven me mad with frustration because I couldn’t get a hold of you. You can’t do that again.”

I nodded because he was right. I’d let panic get the better of me and acted childishly. “I’m sorry. I was just embarrassed.”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He visibly hesitated with a hard swallow. “I’m…glad you told me.” He rubbed his left ear between a finger and thumb. “More than glad.”

More than glad? What does that mean?

“No more avoiding me, Esmeralda.”

“No more avoiding,” I echoed in quiet agreement.

More than glad was a good sign, right?

Chapter Fifteen

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