Page 74 of Tall, Royal and Grumpy

“It’s my fault,” I croaked as I swayed back from her. “Isn’t it? I did something wrong. I messed up.”

Her lashes flew up and she shook her head. “No. no, Kai, you didn’t do anything. It’s not you.”

I wanted to wrap my arms around her and crush her to me, but my fists were ten-tonne weights by my side that wouldn’t stop trembling. “Then what is it? Why are you upset?”

She slowly closed her eyes, squeezing them shut until her face scrunched into a pained frown. “Kai, I—I…”

“Go,” Shehryar said quietly, reminding me he was still there. Both Esmeralda and I glanced to him. He nodded to the side, his piercing eyes locked on Esmeralda. “Go talk to him. I’ll cover for you.”

* * *

Esmeralda stared silently at the view of Pavilion City below us, sitting close to me on the bench. Though I kind of forced her to when I pulled our entwined fingers into my lap.

We’d ridden on Bucky together through the forest and come to the stretch of land on the other side.

Really, I should have taken her somewhere warm to talk. I hated that we were outside. But this was the only place that guaranteed Esmeralda and I could talk alone without any disturbance. So, there we were. Sitting on the lone bench by the old watchtower platform. Her head rested against my shoulder, and I pressed my lips to her hair and closed my eyes, breathing in the sweet scent of her.

It was disturbing how happy she’d been the last time we’d been here, and how quiet she was now.

We sat in silence for five, maybe ten minutes, then she finally said, “I bumped into Kareem on the way back to my room.”

I slowly lifted my head, not quite understanding why she’d mentioned her brother. Then it hit me, and my body went rigid.

Kareem was the reason she was upset.

With the way my own family reacted, it hadn’t occurred to me that Esmeralda’s brother might not have reacted in the same way. Plus, she had said before she didn’t get on with him. Had him finding out she’d spent a night with me made her relationship with her brother worse?

I gulped as worry churned through me. “Did he say something to you?”

“He did,” she muttered and lifted her shuttered gaze to mine. “But it’s more what he didn’t say.”

Her chin started wobbling first, though she bit down on her bottom lip to hide it. But her face crumpled, and tear flooded her eyes, slipping straight down her cheeks like she could no longer hold them in. And every droplet was a hammer to my glass heart, shattering it to a million pieces.

“Esmeralda,” I choked out and reached for her.

She met me halfway, wrapping her arms around my neck as I pulled her into my lap, her legs draped on one side. I squeezed my arms tightly around her as she pressed her face into my shoulder. The quietest little whimper lifted from her, and I buried my face in her hair, cradling and protecting every part of her as agonising emotions tore me apart.

Esmeralda cried almost silently as I held her, trembling against me as I stroked her hair and kissed her temple repeatedly. These weren’t the loud, angry tears she’d shed when I’d told her about Meg. They were tired and sad and hurt, and they wrecked me. They made my raw heart bleed, but they made every cell inside me erupt in an aggressive sort of rage.

I wasn’t a violent person, but I wanted to find King Kareem and bruise every inch of his body. One punch for every tear that fell because of him. For all the hurt he’d caused her when he should have been protecting her. I didn’t give a shit that he was the King of Jahandar. If he had been in front of me right then, I was sure I had enough anger in me that I would have done it.

Yet with every passing second, a part of me became more and more convinced that her pain was somewhat my fault too. I ought to have been more careful.

“I’m sorry,” I said into her hair. “I should have taken you back to your room last night. I shouldn’t have—I didn’t think—”

Esmeralda lifted her head. Her lashes were wet, her warm golden skin pink over her cheeks and nose. She was no longer crying, but her face was damp and her eyes still forlorn.

“Don’t apologise,” she mumbled. “Stop apologising.”

I slipped my hand from the back of her neck up to her cheek and wiped at the wetness on her skin with my thumb. “But a part of it is my fault, Esmeralda. Kareem didn’t like that you were with me—”

“Kareem doesn’t like anything I do, Kai,” she said, shaking her head weakly against my palm.

I ground my teeth together, imagining myself grinding his face to a pulp. “But why?” I probably wasn’t supposed to ask that question, but I had to know. It didn’t make any sense to me that her own brother didn’t like her. There was nothing about her not to like. She was perfect.

Her lashes flickered before she dropped her gaze down to the zipped front of my coat. The wind fluttered through her long, wavy hair. “I don’t know.” Her voice cracked and everything inside me detonated all over again.

I dragged her closer and silently watched her try to drag in slow, shaky breaths. There was nothing I could say that wasn’t a bunch of insults at her brother, and I knew she didn’t need nor want that.

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