Page 2 of The Gunnery Sergeant's Ready-Made Family

Stevie heard someone screaming, was vaguely aware of Chaplain Barnes taking her hand in his, bowing his head as he prayed. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

It was the longest forty-eight hours of Stevie’s life. Once she had composed herself, Stevie phoned her grandmother, the two women praying together over the phone, her grandmother promising to be on the first flight she could get, refusing to hang up until Stevie had promised that she would call her if she needed to talk. With the help of Chaplain Barnes, Stevie had sat Ranger down as soon as he had woken up, eyes round at the uniformed men stationed at their house, and had explained as gently as she knew how to, that his daddy had gone to join his mummy in Heaven.

“Will he bring her home?” Ranger’s brown furrowed.

“No Ranger, I’m so sorry, it doesn’t work like that. Daddy and Mummy won’t come back home, they have to stay where they are.”

“But I want Daddy to come home, he promised me we can go to the beach.”

“I’m sorry Ranger.”

“Can Finn and I go with Daddy and Mummy? We’ll be good, I promise.”

“I’m sorry Ranger, it doesn’t work that way.” As long as Stevie lived, she knew that she would never forget the way that Ranger had looked at her with serious eyes and asked if he could go and join them too. Stevie held him close as he cried, her tears mingling with his. She cried for the absolute unfairness of it all, for the little boy who had known too much sadness in his short life, she cried for the sweet baby who slept upstairs, unaware that he would never grow to know either of his parents, and she cried for herself, for this new life that had been thrust upon her.

“Do you remember when your Mummy died and we had a funeral?” Stevie asked quietly, seeing Ranger nod in understanding. “What did your Daddy tell you?”

“He said she went to live with God, but I wanted her to stay with me.”

“When we love people, we want them to stay with us, to be happy and healthy. Sometimes, that can’t happen, sometimes we have to let them go, even though it hurts us a great deal. It doesn’t mean that we stop loving them, or that they stop loving us, we will always love your Daddy and your Mummy.”

“Who will look after us now?”

“I will Ranger, and your Uncle Chase.” Satisfied with that answer, at least for now, Ranger followed Chaplain Barnes into the kitchen in search of something to eat.

Word had spread quickly throughout the base, the doorbell ringing every few minutes, heralding the arrival of more flowers, or yet another casserole. Stevie knew that this is what families on post did, they looked out for one another, she herself had done it a number of times, yet she found herself growing angrier with each doorbell chime. Oh Lord, her heart cried out in despair, please calm this rising storm inside me, please guard my words and my actions, please help me to graciously accept the love shown to the boys and I, please help me to see You in every action, Amen.

The local church on base had unofficially created a roster of volunteers, in the two days since her brother’s death, Stevie and the children hadn’t been alone, there were people at the house around the clock, helping to care for Stevie and the boys. Stevie had found the presence of Chaplain Barnes and his wife to be especially comforting, the kindly couple had offered to sit with Ranger and Finn today, a blessing for Stevie, while she was strong enough to meet the plane carrying her brother’s body back, she was no way prepared to have Ranger and Finn experience that.

The heat at the airstrip was oppressive, the soft breeze doing nothing to bring relief. Stevie fanned herself with a catalogue she found buried at the bottom of her bag, giving up after a few minutes when she realised her efforts were in vain. She shielded her eyes from the sun as she watched the plane approach the runway, waiting while the crew opened the ramp and lowered her brother’s coffin. The formation was hauntingly beautiful, tears spilling from her eyes as the crew stood guard waiting for her to approach.

Stevie paused as she reached the soldiers, the tallest stepping forward with open arms, arms that she didn’t hesitate to fall into. He held her tightly as she sobbed against his chest, her tears soaking through his uniform, his familiarity a comfort.

“Chase, I’m so sorry.” She looked up into his eyes, a steely determination shining back. She knew he must be hurting, could only imagine how much it had hurt him to accompany her brother’s body back, the body of his dearest friend. When her tears had dried up, Stevie reached her hand out tentatively, fingering the fabric of the flag draped over the coffin, before placing her palms flat on top, taking a moment to whisper a private goodbye to the brother she had adored.

Chase stood next to her as she lingered by the coffin, an ever-present support, giving her all the time she needed. When she was done, he wordlessly linked his arm through hers and guided her across to the car, slipping into the backseat with her for the journey home. Stevie watched the passing scenery out of the window, vaguely wondering how the sun could be shining when her world had become so grey and clouded. She didn’t ask Chase how long he was staying, she didn’t need to. She knew that he would set himself up on their couch and stay there until she no longer needed him, until he was satisfied that she and the boys would be okay without him.

Chapter Two

Once he had made sure that Stevie and the boys were finally sleeping, Chase sunk wearily down onto the sofa, leaning back, eyes closed. It had been the longest couple of days of his life. He knew that Stevie would be meeting the transport carrying Kyle’s body home, and had been warned by his superiors to prepare for that. Nothing could have prepared him for the feelings that had bombarded him though, for the strength of the memories racing through his mind. If it hadn’t been for the uniform he wore, he never would have had the courage to face Stevie again.

He was here now, back on base for however long Stevie and the kids needed him, held in place by a promise he had made to his best friend long ago, before life and the reality of serving their country had consumed their thoughts. Chase wouldn’t let Kyle down, not this time, no matter how long Stevie needed him, Chase would stay, even if it cost him his career, it was the least that he could do, he knew that. As Chase drifted off to sleep his last thoughts were of Kyle and the promise he had made.

The unfamiliar creak of the staircase had Chase leaping from the sofa, every line of his body rigid, his reflexes on high alert, only relaxing once he saw Stevie standing on the bottom step, hesitating.

“Stevie? What’s wrong? Is it the boys?”

“No, they’re fine, sleeping.” A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “I haven’t slept well since Kyle deployed,” she shot him a wry smile, “every little noise has me on edge.”

“Come, I’ll make us some tea.” Chase moved through to the kitchen and started laying out cups, having been inside Kyle’s home often enough to know where everything was kept. He was aware of Stevie following him, her quiet presence unnerving.

“Chase, can I ask you a question?” Something in the way Stevie spoke the words had the hairs on the back of Chase’s neck standing up, whatever it was, he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like it.

“You can ask me anything Stevie, you know that, you always can.”

“How did Kyle die? No one will tell me anything, they just say that it is better if I don’t know, but I have to know, I need to know, for my sake, Chase, please, I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering, imagining.”

Dread fills Chase as he turns to face Stevie, slowly sliding her cup of tea across the kitchen bench towards her, stalling for time, swallowing hard before answering.

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