Page 27 of The Gunnery Sergeant's Ready-Made Family

“Maybe jungle animals? He loves his monkey toy.” It was decided that Finn’s party would be on Saturday morning, with just his family in attendance, apart from that, Stevie was leaving it all up to his grandparents to arrange. When it was nearing Ranger’s bedtime, Stevie thought that there might have been tears over having to leave his Nanna and Poppy, but they averted that crisis by promising him that they were staying at a hotel in town and would be back for breakfast.

“Thank you,” as they were leaving, Jen pulled Stevie aside and hugged her tightly. “I haven’t seen my son this happy in a long time. I know he told me that it is simply a marriage of convenience for the both of you, but sometimes, out of friendship and commitment can grow a deep love.” Stevie simply smiled, not wanting to say anything that might ruin Jen’s happy mood. Besides, everyone was entitled to hope.

Finn’s birthday party on Saturday was a huge success, Nikki and Jen had gone all out in the decorations, there were balloons, streamers, a pinata, life-size cut-outs of animals, and matching tableware. Chris and Chase manned the grill, and the whole family feasted on steakburgers, hot dogs, salads, watermelon, and corn on the cob. For dessert, there was cake, a three-dimensional multilayer vanilla and orange swirl cake in the shape of Finn’s favourite toy monkey, complete with a bow. When Finn saw the cake, he clapped and squealed, and Chase managed to capture it all on film. They sang happy birthday and Ranger helped Finn blow out the candles before they all tucked into the cake, Chase declaring it the best he had ever eaten, both he and Stevie missing the pointed look that passed between Nikki and Jen. At the end of the day, once all of the cake had been washed out of Finn’s hair, and everyone was in bed, Stevie snuck outside to the back porch and looked up at the stars.

“Did you see that, Kyle? Your baby turned one today, I wish you could have been here.” Going back inside, Stevie didn’t see Chase step away from the open kitchen window and into the shadows.

Chapter Seventeen

The last couple of weeks had taken a toll on Chase, ever since the night that Ranger was rushed to hospital, things have been different, strained. He knew that Stevie knew that he was avoiding her, he just didn’t have the courage to tell her why. Next weekend would mark three months since Kyle had died, since he had lost his best friend on deployment, since he had been the one to get him killed. It didn’t feel like three months, at times it felt like forever since Kyle had been here, laughing, joking around, and at other times it felt like yesterday. Last night had been especially heinous for Chase, he had taken an aeon to actually fall asleep, and once he had, all that had greeted him was dust and sand, and Kyle, always Kyle, lying there, bleeding. When he had woken up, tangled in his sheets, covered in sweat, desperate to catch his breath, he knew that it was time he spoke to someone about his dreams. He didn’t want to burden Stevie with what he saw each night, but he did know someone who might be able to help.

“Chaplain Branes, do you have a moment please?” Chase raps on the chaplain’s office door.

“Chase, of course, come in. Would you like a cup of coffee, something to eat?” The chaplain gestured to the chair facing opposite him.

“Thank you, coffee would be nice.”

“It’s not that I’m sorry to see you here Chase, but shouldn’t you be at work?” Chase accepted the coffee the chaplain passed him with a smile of thanks.

“I took an early lunch break.” Which wasn’t technically untrue, he had actually taken the entire afternoon off, he needed to sort out some counselling, he needed to talk to someone, sooner rather than later.

“Is everything okay? Is it Ranger? Would Stevie like my wife and I to stop by and visit?”

“That’s very kind, thank you, I’m sure that she would love to see you both. Ranger is fine, back to his usual bouncy self, thank God. I’m actually here about me.” Chase cleared his throat nervously.

“I see.” The chaplain laid his hands on his desk, waiting for Chase to speak.

“I’m ready to take you up on the offer of counselling, I need help, I see that now.”

“I’m glad that you came to me Chase, I really am. Let’s start with giving thanks, shall we?” Chase bowed his head reverently as the chaplain began to pray. “Our heavenly Father, thank you for guiding Chase here, for leading him to help, I ask that You be with him now as he starts his journey, fill him with wisdom and strength and show him that You are with him, that he is not alone. Amen.”

“Amen,” Chase echoed.

“There are a few options, Chase. I can refer you to an outside counselling group, one that is located off base, one that is not affiliated with the Army in any way. You should know though, if whatever you disclose in counselling indicates that you are unfit for duty, they will be required by law to disclose that to you superiors. Likewise, if your superiors have any issue with your performance, they can request a transcript of your counselling sessions. That is true regardless of whether you see a private counsellor or you see someone on base here.”

“I understand. You said there were a few options?” Chase pressed.

“If you don’t want to see a counsellor off base, you can always see one on base, there are a number of counsellors available here, and their services are free for you to access. You also have the option of group counselling, or a support group, either on or off base. There are pros and cons to each option, of course, you just need to find the right one for you.”

“How does group counselling work? I thought counselling was private?” A frown furrowed Chase’s brow, he wasn’t sure he wanted everyone to know his business.

“It can be, but not always. Group counselling is more like group therapy. It is similar in set up to a mother’s group, very informal. In your case it would be a support group for veterans, generally, they meet once a week, and refreshments are provided. It is very informal, not everyone comes every week, and those that do, take it in turns to share. There are some members of the group who have never shared, and others who share snippets of their story each week.”

“Which option would you suggest for me?”

“From what you have told me in the past about your nightmares, I think that you might benefit from a group session, I think that seeing other people in a similar circumstance to yourself, would be helpful. You know yourself; veterans understand other veterans, I think that it might help you to hear from others in a similar situation.”

“Okay, can you refer to me one of these groups? Or can I just find one to attend?”

“Actually, I have one that is meeting today, if you would like to join us? There is no pressure to speak, I promise.”

“When are you meeting?”

“Right after our meeting here.”

“Okay,” Chase nodded, “I’ll give it a go today since I’m already here.”

“That’s all I ask. If you decide it isn’t for you, I will refer you elsewhere.”

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