Page 3 of The Gunnery Sergeant's Ready-Made Family

“I can’t tell you everything, Stevie, the operation is classified, but I can tell you a little, perhaps it will bring you a sense of comfort.” Chase crossed to the kitchen table and sat, toying with his own mug of tea. He knew that he couldn’t tell Stevie the truth of Kyle’s death, he knew he could never speak the words aloud to anyone, he knew that if he did, the pain would be too great, some things were just better left unsaid. He wondered what he could tell her, what would bring her a sense of peace, of closure. Perhaps his superiors had been right, maybe telling her that Kyle died as the result of an Improvised Explosive Device was the kindest option.

“We were on patrol, standard orders that we undertook several times a day, nothing more than a routine mission. Kyle was up in front, he...” Chase swallowed several times before continuing. “He was up front. The guys were talking about the moon, we had never seen it look so serene, if a moon can be called that. It was so bright it was almost orange, so large and breathtaking in its beauty.” Chase sipped at his tea, swallowing down the guilt that threatened to rise.

“Everyone was joking, sharing stories from home, in that moment, we could have been friends walking anywhere.” Chase took a deep breath, visions of what happened next forever seared in his mind, the burden weighing heavily on his heart, his soul troubled. “We were ambushed Stevie, Kyle held fast, laying down enough cover for the rest of us to scramble to safety. Once we were able to cover him, he made a dash for our location, in the midst of the chaos there was no way to see the tell-tale signs, he tripped and triggered an Improvised Explosive Device. He died instantly Stevie, there was no pain.” Despite his reservations, the lie slid easily off Chase’s tongue.

Chase reached his arm across the table to squeeze Stevie’s hand comfortingly.

“Was I right to tell you, Stevie?”

“Yes Chase, thank you.” Stevie brushed away her tears. “Kyle died a hero, when the boys are old enough to understand, perhaps they will get some comfort from that.”

“Maybe so, in any case, you and I will both be there for them, to help them and guide them.” Chase spoke matter of factly, downing the rest of his tea in a single gulp.

“Thank you, Chase.”

“No thanks necessary,” he acknowledged with a nod. “If you are okay here, I’m going to go for a run before the boys wake up, I’ll have my cell with me if you need anything.”

Chase ran from one end of the base to the other, needing to push himself, needing to clear his head for the day ahead. As he ran he tried not to think about Kyle, tried not to think of the many ways that he had let his friend down, that he had failed him. He hurried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall, while Chase had nothing against crying, and indeed encouraged the men under his command to mourn Kyle however they saw fit, he was not about to make a spectacle of himself. He knew he would mourn Kyle in the days and weeks ahead, his brother in all ways except blood. A sudden grin flashed across his face as he remembered meeting Kyle for the first time. They had been ten years old, Chase had just transferred to a new school at yet another new army base, and had been seated next to Kyle in class.

While Kyle hadn’t hesitated to share his pencils and textbook with Chase, it was what happened between classes that really cemented their friendship. Kyle overheard the school bully talking about Chase and his family not having the right supplies, and without hesitating told him that Chase’s father outranked his father and that he had better be careful about what he said from now on. A passing teacher had overheard the exchange and all three had received detention for it, but it didn’t matter, from that moment onwards the two boys had been inseparable. It was Chase that Kyle had leant on when his parents had died so suddenly, Chase that kept an eye on Stevie while Kyle was first deployed, Chase that had been his best man at his wedding. There wasn’t a single memory that Chase had that wasn’t connected in some way to Kyle.

He had lost more than a friend, more than a brother even, he felt as if he had lost a part of his body, as if he was missing a limb. Chase wished he could turn back time, wished there was some way to right the wrong that was Kyle’s death, wished he could stop the unrelenting what-ifs that ran around and around his mind. He ran harder and harder, trying to block out his thoughts, hoping they would just give up. As he rounded the bend he saw Chaplain Barnes outside the pristine white church and nodded in recognition, not slowing down, he was in no mood to discuss theology this morning, not with his thoughts in such disarray. Chase sprinted up to the top of a hill, his legs screaming in protest, not stopping until he reached the top, where he paused, hands on hips, sucking in big breaths of air. From his vantage point, he could see most of the base, safe and secure. With a final glance, he turned and started jogging back the way he had come, ready to get back to the house and take care of Kyle’s family.

Chase walked through the front door into what could only be described as complete and utter chaos. It looked as if a tornado had struck the house in his absence, toys littered the floor and clothes were strewn from one end of the hallway to the other. There was a cup of milk upended and snaking its way towards the lounge room carpet, the volume on the television was on maximum, and somewhere amongst it all Chase could hear the distinct sounds of someone crying. Stepping over the toys and clothes, Chase walked through to the kitchen, returning with a cloth, wiping up the milk and returning the cup to the sink, before following the sound of the crying, finding Stevie rocking a frantic Finn while Ranger sat in the middle of his bedroom floor sobbing.

“Here, let me.” Chase stepped closer to Stevie, retrieving Finn from her grasp. “You deal with Ranger.” Chase didn’t wait to see what was wrong with Ranger, instead walking Finn back downstairs, hoping that once he was away from his brother’s tears that he would also start to calm down. Chase was no stranger to babies, being one of eight siblings, he had ample practice with his numerous nieces and nephews, there was always someone who needed to be held. Chase spoke softly to Finn as they wandered around the lounge room, picking up toys and clothes, and returning them to their rightful place. When the room was once again respectable, Chase made a start on breakfast, although, he noticed the time with a shock, it would be more like a brunch now. Poor Ranger, he must be starving.

Chase was just placing the last stack of pancakes on the table when Stevie and Ranger walked into the room, Ranger eagerly hopping up to the table and starting in on his pancakes.

“Everything alright?” Chase asked Stevie quietly.

“Everything’s fine, Ranger had a small accident with his milk earlier and it was the final straw.” Although she sent him a small smile, he could see the worry in her eyes. “Once we finish up here I’ll give Finn a quick bath and freshen up a bit myself, and then we should be ready to go.”

“Don’t rush, I’ll take care of Finn, as long as we leave by noon we should arrive in plenty of time.”

True to his word, once brunch was finished Chase gave Finn a bath, enlisting Ranger’s help in selecting his brother’s clothes, knowing how important it was for him to feel included right now. With both boys dressed and buckled into their car seats, Stevie stowed their backpacks in the trunk and then they were ready to leave. The drive to the local airport should take an hour, and despite his reservations about taking everyone with them to collect Stevie’s grandmother, Stevie had remained firm. She might be visiting for the worst reason imaginable, but she was still the children’s great-grandmother, and they deserved to feel happy about her arrival, no matter how fleeting.

The airport was, as usual, busy, and finding a parking spot was nearly impossible. By the time Chase had parked and Finn was strapped into his stroller, they were running late. Stevie grabbed Ranger’s hand and ran, Chase beside her pushing Finn. They made it to the arrivals gate just in time, Stevie’s grandmother appearing around the corner moments after they arrived, Ranger breaking free from Stevie’s grasp to run to greet his great-grandmother, who swooped him up into her arms, peppering his face with kisses.

“Oh, my precious boy, I’ve missed you so much, it’s so good to see you again.” Stevie stepped forward, her grandmother hugging her with her free arm, before turning her attention to Finn and Chase.

Once everyone had been hugged and exclaimed over, they trekked back to the car, slower this time, not in any hurry to return home, to the emptiness that awaited them. Stevie’s grandmother sat in the back with the children, happy to listen to Ranger chatter, giving Chase and Stevie a chance to talk quietly in the front.

“You were right Stevie, I’m sorry I tried to talk you out of it, Ranger needed this today.”

“We all needed it, Chase, even you.” He couldn’t disagree.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not looking forward to cooking tonight, how about we swing past that diner Ranger loves so much and have an early dinner? I don’t think any of us will be late to bed tonight.”

“That’s a great idea Chase, thank you.”

They pulled into Annette’s Diner to a chorus of whoops and hollers from Ranger, and easily found a parking spot. Annette herself led them to a table, pulling Stevie close and whispering how very sorry she was to hear of Kyle’s passing. Dinner was a subdued affair, the five of them managing to eat more than Chase had expected them to. Even Finn got in on the act, happily gnawing away on some banana chunks in custard that Annette had brought over for him. Ranger, Chase was pleased to see, ate almost all of his child’s size portion of spaghetti and meatballs, with a green salad and French fries on the side, and even had room for a scoop of ice cream for dessert. When Chase went to settle their bill, he found that Annette had covered it for them, and he was forced to swallow the lump in his throat spurred by her kindness before he could thank her.

As Chase had predicted, both Ranger and Finn fell asleep on the drive home, and he lifted Ranger into his arms, carrying him upstairs and laying him in his bed while Stevie placed Finn in his crib. Chase stood back, feeling a little like he was intruding, as he watched Stevie flutter around the room, removing Ranger’s shoes and changing Finn’s diaper, before tucking them both in with whispered words of love and gentle kisses placed on their foreheads. Stevie’s grandmother said her goodnights shortly after, Stevie giving up her room for her to use. When Chase had realised that Stevie intended to sleep on the floor he had merely retrieved more blankets from the cupboard, as well as Kyle’s sleeping bag, and made himself a space on the lounge room floor, giving Stevie the sofa. Her last words before drifting off to sleep were a muffled thank you.

Chapter Three

Chase waited until both Stevie and her grandmother were awake before heading out for his daily run, leaving the two women with a chance to talk alone while the boys were still sleeping. Chase knew that today would be hard, they were meeting with Chaplain Barnes to make funeral arrangements for Kyle’s funeral, which they were hoping to hold on Friday. When he returned from his run he opened the door cautiously, but instead of the chaos he had found yesterday, today he was met with only silence. He wasn’t sure which unnerved him the most.

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