Page 6 of The Gunnery Sergeant's Ready-Made Family

“Before we head out to the car, I thought we might take a moment to pray,” Chase spoke solemnly, bowing his head, Stevie and her grandmother following suit. “Dear Lord, you know how very hard this day is, how impossible it would be to get through without your love and guidance. I ask that you walk with Stevie, Nikki, Finn and Ranger today Lord, uphold them in your love and let them know that they are not alone, that you are with them, help them find the courage they need to face the day, the strength to endure it. Amen.” As he finished, Stevie silently added her own addendum, Lord, please uphold Chase today, guide him and be his strength as he has been ours. Amen.

Kyle’s funeral was as devastating as Stevie imagined it would be, yet they made it through, all of them, relatively unscathed. There was a terrifying moment at the ceremony when Stevie thought that Ranger might fall into the grave, having made a dash towards the casket, crying for his Daddy, but before she could react Chase was there, scooping him up into his strong arms, holding him tight as they cried together for the man they both loved. Stevie respected that about Chase, he wasn’t shy about letting people know that he cared. They had stayed by the graveside until the sun was low in the sky, before returning home to share yet another kindly donated meal, this time a hearty beef stew, having firmly declined the offer of a wake, Stevie deciding that it would be too much for the children to handle. Emotionally wrung out from the day they had endured, they were all in bed well before eight o’clock that evening.

The following day Stevie was surprised to be woken by Ranger climbing up onto the sofa with her, sunlight already streaming through the lounge room curtains. She hugged her small nephew close, sensing his need for closeness, only rising once he had crawled off the sofa and gone back to playing with his toy cars. A search of the house found her grandmother sitting on the front porch chatting on the phone, and Chase in the kitchen, holding an in-depth discussion with Finn on the merits of container planting versus ground planting as he washed the dishes. Strapped into his high chair with a crust of bread, Finn gurgled and squealed along with Chase, seemingly enjoying the interaction as much as Chase was.

“Good morning.” Stevie dropped a kiss on Finn’s soft head of hair, breathing in his sweet baby scent. “Chase, you should have woken me, I don’t expect you to do all this.” She gestured around the room.

“Nonsense, Nikki helped, besides,” he shrugged, “you looked like you could use the sleep.”

What she really needed, Stevie thought, was to sleep stretched out in a bed instead of on the sofa. Chase must need that even more, although he hadn’t complained once, sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor in the boys' room can’t be overly comfortable either. Stevie sighed, maybe she could add a single bed to the boys' room, and switch out the double bed in Kyle’s room for two single beds? She would have to price beds today while she was out, even something second hand. It wasn’t the best solution or even one long term, but it would have to do, at least until she knew how long her grandmother was intending on staying. Stevie knew that she would need to sit both her grandmother and Chase down and discuss it with them, but she was taking the easy way out and burying her head in the sand. She knew they couldn’t stay with her forever, not even Chase who seemed to think he was going to sleep on the floor of their house forever, but she liked having the company and she worried about their answers if she asked them outright.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Stevie left Chase and Finn in the kitchen and went upstairs to shower and change for the day. After downing a quick cup of coffee, Stevie herded Ranger and Finn out to the car and buckled them in, climbing into the backseat with them both, giving her grandmother the front seat. Stevie and Chase stopped at the local shopping centre, letting her grandmother and Ranger out, having arranged for them both to go to the movies and then lunch together, just the two of them, while Stevie and Chase took Finn with them to the lawyer's office downtown. The law firm was open and airy, flooded with light from the large glass windows, with lush potted plants dotted throughout the foyer. Stevie fed Finn a bottle while they waited and he promptly drifted off to sleep, Stevie tucking him snugly in his stroller, fiddling with his blanket and her purse until their names were finally called.

Daniel Johnston couldn’t have looked less like a lawyer if he had tried, his purple mohawk momentarily capturing Stevie’s attention, looking very out of place in his immaculate office of steel and chrome.

“Stevie, I am so sorry for your loss. As you know, I knew both Kyle and Amanda, and I was so very proud to be able to call them friends, their compassion and enduring love was inspirational.”

“Thank you,” Stevie murmured.

“Did Kyle speak to you at all, about his intentions or the contents of his will?”

“Briefly,” Stevie shuffled in her chair, “Amanda was orphaned a few years ago and had no other family, and Kyle’s only family is myself and our grandmother, and Chase of course,” she added as an afterthought.

“Then I see no reason to delay the reading of the will, shall we proceed?” When both Stevie and Chase nodded their heads, Daniel continued. “I Kyle John Delaney, being of sound mind, do hereby declare that this is my last will and testament. If, at the time of my passing, my sons Ranger Chase Delaney and Finn Steven Delaney are minors, that their aunt, my sister, Stephanie Elizabeth Delaney, be awarded absolute and sole guardianship. Should she be unable or unwilling to do so, I request that absolute and sole guardianship pass to my best friend, Chase Logan Roberts. If Stephanie does accept absolute and sole guardianship of Ranger and Finn, it is my hope that both boys are given the opportunity to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Chase. All of my other possessions and goods, including money and investments, are to be passed into the name of Stephanie Elizabeth Delaney, to be used as she sees fit.” Daniel looked up from the piece of paper.

“That’s it, as Kyle’s only sibling it was a pretty straightforward will.” Daniel looked at Stevie. “Did you have any questions?” Stevie shook her head. “I will need you to sign some paperwork that we’ll have drawn up in a few days, in regards to the custodianship of Ranger and Finn, but otherwise, the only other thing I would suggest is that you make a will of your own if you don’t already have one, if not for your sake, then for Finn and Ranger.” Stevie nodded and made her excuses to leave, lost in thought as they left the building. She didn’t have a will, had never needed one, it wasn’t like she had a lot of stuff, and what she did have she was pretty sure no one would want, dozens of books, a few half-dead potted plants, and some ratty old family photos containing people no one else knew. Although she worked hard, the majority of her money went to renting her postage stamp sized apartment in the city, with a little leftover for other bills and food costs. She had been desperately trying to save money for a house deposit for years but was still nowhere close to being able to go house hunting. It wasn’t an issue before, but now with two little boys to think about, it made Stevie’s palms sweat.

Stevie was not surprised to discover that Kyle has made her the sole guardian of Ranger and Finn, she had expected it really, the only other person she had considered it could be was Chase, but she imagined that with his career it was too much of a risk. At least with her career, the most danger she was in was getting a repetitive strain injury. Not in any hurry to head to the busy shopping centre, Stevie wandered aimlessly along the street, not focusing on anything in particular, just needing to think. Coming to a small secluded park, Stevie found a bench and sat, absently rocking Finn’s stroller back and forth, aware that Chase had sat next to her on the seat, watching her.

“Are you okay Stevie?”

“I’m fine, I was just thinking, it’s a lot to take in you know.”

“I can understand that. Just remember that you are not alone, you and the boys will always have me, will or no will, to help out or to listen, if needed.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want to be their guardian,” Stevie started, “it’s just that I never intended to have children. Don’t get me wrong, I love Finn and Ranger, I would do anything for them, it’s just different, last month I was loving them and spoiling them as an aunt, and now I am their only guardian. I don’t know if I can make that change, I never wanted to be a mother.”

“Really?” Chase sounded surprised.

“I knew it was something that I could never have Chase, so I tried never to think about it, although, since we are having this discussion, there was a time, a long time ago, that I thought maybe it would it possible for me, but I soon realised that I was wrong. I’ve spent the better part of a decade squashing down any desires or thoughts that I might have had on motherhood and instead focused on other aspects of life, like my career.”

“Stevie, are you serious right now?” Chase stared at her, his mouth agape.

“Yes.”

“How can you say that? You were the girl who was always pushing around dolls in strollers, you were the teen who babysat everyone’s kids. What happened?” Chase’s eyes narrowed. “Did someone hurt you?”

“Nothing happened Chase, at least nothing nefarious in any case. I simply grew up, and when I did, I realised that the only thing you get from loving someone is pain. I wasn’t going to risk having a husband and children, risk loving them, just so that they could leave one day, so they could abandon me. It wasn’t worth the risk, not to me in any case. Kyle thought differently and look what happened. No,” Stevie shook her head determinedly, “I won’t let myself run the risk of ever having a relationship or falling in love or having children, it is just too much of a risk for me.”

“Stevie, please tell me you are joking.” Although she could feel Chase’s gaze on her, Stevie refused to look at him. “Your parents didn’t abandon you, you must realise that, you must know how much they loved you, they would have given anything to be able to stay with you and Kyle.”

“I know they didn’t plan to die, Chase, they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, the drunk driver never even saw the lights change, and my parents never stood a chance. I know that. I also know the anguish and devastation that they left behind, it had a ripple effect. I don’t want to be the one who does that to someone else. No, it is far better to be alone than to risk damaging someone’s heart.”

“What will you do with Finn and Ranger?” At this Stevie did look at Chase, surprise colouring her features when she saw his eyes full of compassion, of concern, for her.

“Chase, of course, I will take them, I love them, I would do anything for them, no matter the cost to me. Do you remember when my parents died?”

“I do.”

---