Page 9 of The Gunnery Sergeant's Ready-Made Family

“Chase, what’s wrong?” Stevie touched his arm as he stooped down to help her lift Finn and the stroller up the steps.

“Nothing Stevie, I’m sorry, I was just lost in thought,” he grinned at her, “I might have some good news about a house, once these rascals are in bed, we’ll talk, okay?” His eyes suddenly serious again, Stevie nodded, unease settling in her stomach. Chase had never lied to her, not ever in the entire time that she had known him, not even as a child, so she had no reason to doubt him now. It was just that she was unsettled herself, she reasoned, that was all. All of the changes of the past few weeks had made her overly sensitive, her worry likely had nothing to do with Chase, after all, she knew she could trust him, she did trust him, with her life if it ever came down to it.

Stevie lingered over the task of getting Finn and Ranger ready for bed, there was just something so soothing and comforting about being wrapped up in the gentle smell of baby talcum powder and fresh shampoo that calmed Stevie’s soul. She sat on the sofa downstairs, Finn and Ranger snuggled against her sides, and read to them from their extensive collection of storybooks, making sure to do all of the voices, just as Ranger liked. Finn, still too young to understand any of the bedtime routine, watched Stevie’s face avidly, adding in his own baby babble and infectious laugh from time to time, earning a sweet reminder from Ranger to be quiet. When Ranger fell asleep against her side, Stevie closed the book softly and sighed. This was nice, being here with these toy darling boys, but it was also painful. Stevie was starting to see life differently, starting to ache for things she thought that she could never have, would never have. She was feeling disorientated, not sure what her life would look like moving forward.

At her sigh, Chase looked up from the magazine he had been pouring over at the dining room table, a grin lighting up his face at the sight of Stevie and the boys.

“Here, let me carry Ranger up, you take Finn.” Chase was by her side in a moment, arms already scooping Ranger up, adjusting his weight in his arms. Stevie followed behind carrying Finn, her thoughts on Chase. He would make someone a wonderful husband one day, attentive and thoughtful. He always anticipated others needs before they voiced them, she admired that in him. He was obviously good with children, Stevie smiled to herself, remembering days she and Kyle would spend at his house during summertimes, his house full of his younger siblings. It had seemed frantic, having so many people around, but there was a calmness underneath it all, his was a family guided by love and devotion.

Leaving the boys bedroom door slightly ajar, Stevie followed Chase back downstairs and through to the kitchen, opening the fridge and bringing out the pitcher of lemonade she had made earlier in the day.

“Lemonade Chase?”

“That would be great, thank you. Maybe we can sit out on the front porch and watch the world go by?”

“Sounds nice, I’ll bring the drinks out in a moment.” Stevie placed the drinks onto a tray, adding a plate of butter cookies Ranger had helped her to make yesterday, carrying the whole lot out to Chase. The two of them sat in companionable silence, drinking their lemonade, and enjoying the cookies until Chase finally broke it.

“Stevie, I’ve been thinking-”

“Are you redeploying?” Stevie interrupted him.

“What? No, is that what you thought? Stevie,” Chase turned to look at her face, “I promised you that I was here until you no longer needed me.”

“Sorry,” Stevie muttered, heat flooding her cheeks, “I just thought...I mean, when soldiers say they have news, it is usually about deployment. Besides, I don’t expect you to stay here forever Chase, at some point, you will want to get back out to the life you created.”

“About that, I’ve been thinking of ways to solve this housing issue, without having to uproot the boys too much. I have a proposal for you, and I want you to hear me out fully before you answer me, no matter how crazy it might seem at first, will you promise me that you will listen to everything I have to say, and then think about it before you answer me?”

“I promise Chase.” Stevie nodded; her curiosity piqued.

“I think we should get married.” It was literally the last thing that Stevie had ever expected Chase would say to her, and she was unable to stop the gasp from leaving her lips.

“It is the best solution for everyone, Stevie,” Chase explained. “We have known each other for years, almost two decades in fact, if there was anything negative or unsavoury about me, you would have discovered it already, and I you. I’m not naive, Stevie, I’m not suggesting a love match, I know you don’t see me in that manner. What I am suggesting is something better, a solid foundation for a life together, forged in friendship, respect, and a mutual understanding. We have the same beliefs and values, which I think is key to making any relationship work. I know you never intended to marry, I respect that, to be honest, I am not sure that it would have been in my cards either, not with my career choice. It has its benefits, marrying me. It will mean that both you and the boys have stability, all medical benefits and education costs are covered by the Army, and the boys can attend college if they want to.” Stevie knew that Kyle had hoped the boys would attend the same college that he had.

“Housing is provided here on base,” Chase continued, “I checked, and there is a three-bedroom house that we can request. If you wanted the boys to have their own room, that is fine, I’m happy to get a pull-out sofa to sleep on, otherwise, the boys can share and I will take the third bedroom. You and the boys would have a ready-made support system, no one understands Army life more than other Army families. It would also give you and the boys daily support, you know that I would never do anything to intentionally harm you, you have my word, if you marry me, I will remain faithful to you alone, even if our marriage is in name only.” Chase leant across and took one of her hands in his. “Just think about it Stevie, that is all I am asking, you don’t need to answer me right away. I’m going to go in and get ready for bed, you let me know what you decide when you are ready.” Stevie nodded, her mind racing.

Stevie remained sitting out on the front porch until all of the lights in the neighbouring houses had been switched off and the moon was high in the sky. Her first instinct had been to tell Chase no, but she had promised him that she would think about it, and that is what she was going to do, after all, this wasn’t about her, not anymore, it was about Ranger and Finn and their future. Stevie had to be practical. What did she have to offer her nephews? Chase was right, she hadn’t planned to marry, there would be no father figure for Finn and Ranger to look up to, to learn from, no father figure to help guide the boys and to show them how a man should behave. Was it wrong of Stevie to deny them that? She had never considered it, but now she had to wonder if her love was enough for her nephews. Her life was lonely at times, she hadn’t a houseful of relatives for the holidays the way Chase did, the last thing she wanted was to isolate Finn and Ranger, she didn’t want them to have her life, she wanted more for them, she wanted a life that was happy and fulfilling, full of the richness of friends and family, experiences and love. Could she really give them all of that on her own?

What if she did marry Chase? What then? Could he really be content with a marriage in name only, without any physical intimacy, without love? No, Stevie reminded herself, there was love, but was it enough? What if they married and Chase later met someone who he could see a future with, what then? It wouldn’t be fair for Stevie to stand in his way, that was for sure, but would it be fair for the boys for her to let him go? Confusion and questions swam around and around in her mind, every way she turned was a solution and more problems all rolled into one. Stevie knew that Chase had meant every word he had spoken, her hesitation was based on her feelings alone, on a silly teenage crush she had endured long ago and hidden from Chase in case it had ruined his friendship with her brother. As she sat outside contemplating his proposal, she wondered just how likely it had been that her feelings were a simple crush and not something deeper. Getting nowhere, Stevie did the only thing she thought might help, she turned it over to God in silent prayer. Lord, please help me to know what the right thing is to do. You know how much I want to give Ranger and Finn a future filled with love and joy, but I need your help. Please show me the right way. If it is Chase, help me to see it, and to have faith in your will. If my future doesn’t include Chase, help me to find the right words to explain this without hurting anyone’s feelings, and the strength to keep moving forward. Amen.

Chapter Seven

Eyes springing open, Chase scanned the room, ears straining, looking for the source of the noise that woke him. His every muscle tensed, ready to pounce, his eyes making out the familiar shadows of the television unit in the corner, the lines of the window, the curtains swaying slightly. Chase strained his ears, listening, trying to pinpoint what sounded like...humming. He could make out the sound now, his stance relaxed as he stood there listening to Stevie humming a lullaby, the sound floating down the stairs. His watch showed that it was a little after five o’clock in the morning, smiling to himself, he went to put the kettle on, he knew Stevie wouldn’t go back to sleep now, she would get up and get straight into whatever work she had to do today, he would make sure he had a coffee waiting for her.

“Morning,” she greeted him a few minutes later.

“Morning, everything okay upstairs?”

“I think Finn is teething, poor thing, he was quite restless last night.” Stevie sipped at her coffee. “Thank you, this is perfect.” She held her cup up in silent salute for Chase.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled back at her.

“So, I did a lot of thinking last night Chase, about your proposal, and a fair amount of praying. Were you serious about asking me? I need to be sure that you were certain and that you aren’t going to change your mind, or that you aren’t doing this out of a misguided sense of obligation to Kyle?”

“I meant every word of what I said Stevie, I have also thought long and hard about this, and spent time in prayer, and I believe that it is the best solution for everyone.”

“I know why you want to do this for the boys and me, but what do you gain Chase? It seems to me that you only lose with this arrangement.”

“I told you that I didn’t think having a family was in my future, what I didn’t tell you was that I had always wanted my own family, a home of my own. I put those desires away once I joined the service, not wanting to have to put any future family through the constant moving around that comes with Army life, not to mention the toll separations sometimes take on a relationship. With you and Finn and Ranger, I already have my family, the only family I want. The bonus is that you already know about this life, and I think that our friendship is strong enough to withstand any separation.”

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