Page 131 of Bad Wolf

I spend the whole walk praying to whoever will listen that if my dad tells me he’s made a change, I’ll never ask for anything again.

My worries and bargains loop on repeat and it feels like it takes an eternity to get to the hotel, but in reality, it’s only twenty minutes.

If Dad isn’t in a program, then I can’t have him anywhere near Knox. I can’t have stayed away for six years to then bring the very trouble I tried to save him from to his door.

We walk into the hotel, finding my dad seated at a plastic table with two to-go coffee cups warming his hands.

I take in my surroundings. It’s outdated and none of the furniture matches but it looks and smells clean.

“Hi Dad,” I say as we reach his table.

He looks up and the smile he beams in my direction is enough to have me wrapping my arms around him before he can stand.

“I missed you, daddy.”

“Oh, Birdy. I missed you too, so much.” The pet name warms me and I sit down, letting go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Knox,” Dad says, holding out his hand for Knox to shake. Knox looks at it for a beat or two and then slowly reaches out to shake my dad’s offered hand.

They both sit down then.

“We need to talk, Dad. You gotta tell me what’s going on. I haven’t really heard from you since February.”

“Come on, drink this. Got it just the way you like it. Sorry, Knox I didn’t you’d be here.”

Knox says nothing in return. He’s gone into protective mode.

He pushes the hot drink across the table and I take the lid off the Styrofoam cup, letting the sweet-scented steam escape. I take a sip of the non-descript coffee and actually, it’s not too bad. Creamer and just the right amount of sugar have me lifting it to my lips again.

Dad smiles at my hum of appreciation and I scan him.

I try to gauge what kind of life he’s leading. He’s clean shaven. He doesn’t have that energy that screamsdesperateclinging to him. He looks better.

“Why are you here?” I ask, searching his face.

“I told you. I wanted to see you. I miss my girl. Why else would I be here?”

Knox scoffs but I eye him and he puts his hand to his chin, fingers stretching to cover his mouth. Likely so he doesn’t react before Dad tells me what he’s come to say. His other hand stays firmly on my thigh under the table.

“What kind of work have you been doing while I’ve been gone? Did you look into any of the programs I left information on?”

“No. I did one better!” His excitement is palpable coming off in waves as he beckons me closer. Like he has a secret he only wants me to know.

“Oh yeah?” I say as I take another mouthful of sweet coffee.

“Yes,” his eyes radiate happiness and he pauses for dramatic effect.

“Well don’t keep us waiting,” I giggle, excited to hear how Dad’s turned a corner.

“I won.”

“You, huh? Like at life?”

“No, Birdy. I won.”

The coffee turns sour in my stomach and I curl into myself. Knox’s hand on my thigh tightens, eyes turning to stone.

“You won?” I whisper.

---