Page 19 of Bad Wolf

When I was seven, I joined a T-ball team, all by myself of course. Forged my dad’s signature and everything. Alas, I couldn’t hit that ball for shit. Undeterred, I went around to all the bigger boys asking if they would help me practice and they all said no.

When I finally made it over to Scott, he was playing catch with his best friend, Jenna. I asked him the same question I had solicited about a hundred times that day in our local park, the bat dragging along the grass as I went.

He looked at me, sizing me up, and finally said he would show me what to do. They both spent the whole afternoon teaching me how to hit the ball as far as possible. After that day I was the best batter on the team, and it was all thanks to him.

When I started dating Knox years later, Scott always said I was the most tenacious seven-year-old he’d ever met.

He must be so disappointed to see me here like this.

I can’t help but take in my surroundings again. The skimpy outfits I was just rifling through. The pea-green paint peeling off the walls. The dingy light.

It takes all my strength to hold back the tears that want to fall. When I knew these amazing humans standing in front of me, I was going somewhere. I had high hopes. I had a life full of big dreams, love and laughter, and people.

I had people.

And I’m tired, so fucking tired of the charade and the late nights and this city and my godforsaken dad.

“I want out,” I blurt. And then I cover my hand over my mouth, unable to believe those words fell from my lips. And yet they continue as I let slip everything I’ve been holding in. And not just since I found out they were in my city, it’s felt like I’ve been bottling it up forever.

“The thing you think I did, I didn’t. My dad got caught up in some stuff that would have jeopardized, no,killedany chance Knox,” I gesture towards the boys, “well probably all of you would have had at a professional career. It would have taken everything from him. Everything he worked so hard for.”

Their eyes widen at this, but I continue. I’m on a roll and I need to free myself of this burden.

“Dad fucked up, so badly. I knew if I had gone to Knox he would have tried to help, or God, never gone to Minnesota. So I set it up, made it seem like I … and then he assumed… But it worked and he was free. I made Dad take me away. Being the shit he is, he brought me here.”

“He’s a gambling addict.” Not a question that needs an answer, so I merely nod.

“And you fell on your sword.”

Again, I nod, my gaze glued to the floor. My eyes give way to the onslaught of tears, and I make an unladylike sniff.

“Does he hurt you?” Coralie asks, and I shake my head.

“My dad is a lot of things, but he has never once laid a finger on me.”

“I fucking knew it. Didn’t I tell you something was off about that whole thing?” Scott talks to Coralie over my head.

“I’m so goddamn sorry, but I didn’t know what else to do. I would rather him hate me than not fulfill his dream, or mess it up for the rest of you. And then the bastard kept pushing boundaries, getting benched, and giving away stupid penalties. He was so angry every time he took to the ice, like he had a score to settle. And it hurt so much. Watching him get it all and score the hat trick and just everything. I was so proud, but it wrecked me. Seeing you all again, I can’t bear it anymore. I still love him. Love him so much I can hardly stand it. And he fucking hates me. What am I supposed to do for the rest of my life? There won’t ever be anyone else.”

I’m sobbing, actually crying my heart out in front of an NHL superstar, the strongest fucking boss lady I know, and a hard as fuck firefighter, who all thought I had cheated on their little brother.

Like a whore, and a cheat, and a liar.

The two brothers seem to have some sort of telepathic conversation, Coralie’s eyes pleading to the both of them while my gaze ping-pongs between them all.

“Do you have a phone?” Casey asks, and my cheeks flame red.

“I do, but I don’t have many minutes left,” I mutter, ashamed.

“Okay, type your number in here.”

My hands shake as I fumble with the keypad. I’m not really sure what this will achieve, but I hand him the sleek and obviously brand-new phone back.

“Why were you here, in the club I mean? Part of your All-Star celebrations? Or…oh my God, it was a bachelor party, wasn’t it?”Oh my God!No!“Is, is Knox getting married? Did he…did he get engaged? IS KNOX ENGAGED?” I gasp, and suddenly I’m rambling and tearing up for a different reason.

If Knox is engaged, I think I’d simply just cease to exist. If there wasn’t even the slightest chance we could make it back to one another? What then?

Everyone is shocked still. The only sounds are my words echoing in my ears and the thumping of my heart in my chest.

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