Page 55 of Bad Wolf

Have I built this up into this epic soul-searing love story when in fact we were just two dumb kids thinking we knew it all? Life was easy and we had it made.

Well, the universe is laughing at us now. Actually, that’s a lie.

Knox has everything he ever wanted. Me though? I have nothing.

I will my feet to head in the opposite direction and away from him. I stumble and almost fall every few steps. I grasp for anything I can lean on, scraping the skin on my hands as I grapple to hold myself against the course bricks of the buildings.

It takes ten blocks for Knox’s cruel words to properly register and finally piss me off. Ten blocks and scuffed arms that will sting like a motherfucker tomorrow, for the light to go off in my head.

And that light blinksFuck Thisto a beat only I can hear. The emotions of rejection and the dismissal from his life start to lift when I begin to see things more clearly as it finally hits me.

I’m here in front of Knox, giving him plenty of opportunities to talk through what happened. Even if he does think the worst. Even if he does believe I was a person capable of doing something so bad, wouldn’t he want to know why? Why I cheated? Why I slept with someone he really hated?

I mean yeah, I was methodical in my thinking—I needed it to be as painful as possible. I needed us to be done. I wanted him to be able to move on from me. But really deep down, way,waydown, does he honestly think I was capable of something so heartless?

Not even one iota?

After all this time, he hasn’t once thought something doesn’t sit right? Wren would never do something so awful?

Well, fuck that noise!

I muster my last shreds of dignity, search the very depths of my soul for any specks of grit I used to possess, and decide right this very second that this will be myownsecond chance.

I don’t need Knox if this is the person he’s become. I’ll learn to live with the fact that when he smiles it will never be cast in my direction. I’ll discover a way to adapt to a new version of life where Knox’s forgiveness is no longer the end goal.

My epiphany comes with a price however, and the heavens open, soaking me through to the bone in seconds, leaving me chilled but determined.

Washing away that shitty speech Knox just gave. Every raindrop erasing his arrogant words.

If nothing else, New York is going to be my fresh start, with or without Knox.

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

WREN

What to eat?What to eat? What to eat?

Two weeks, four new work-appropriate outfits, an audition with a dance studio, and five apartment viewings later…I’m still here cramping Scott’s style.

He doesn’t seem to mind, but I’m conscious that I’ve been staying with him for nearly two months already.

That’s okay though. I’m forging forward. I’m settling into my job with the foundation and submitting my online assignments and essays in plenty of time. I’m spending quality time with Jenna, and I’ve met a few of the guys and this one bad ass chick that Scott works with.

My bare foot taps out a rhythm on the kitchen floor while I chastise myself for not going to the grocery store yesterday. I peruse the offerings in Scott’s fridge and, well, it gets more depressing the more I stare.

Protein bars.

Protein smoothies.

Protein yogurts.

Ugh, boys. I take out a mango-flavored yogurt with a sigh, lift the lid, and grab a spoon out of the drawer that houses all the cutlery and a tape measure. I asked him the other day why it was in there and he grunted and said, “Need it too often for it to be locked away in my toolbox.”

I snickered like a fourteen-year-old boy as he walked off mumbling something under his breath about me being “Knox with tits.”

When Knox is away on road trips, I’ve been able to head out to where it seems half the team are usually taking up residence, guilt-free, and hanging out with the best people ever. Anna is amazing and I can’t get enough of Coralie and Jack.

Coralie seems to have warmed up to me now she knows my intentions with Knox were purely to set the record straight and attempt to win him back. Although, I feel guilty for causing a rift between the siblings, the silent treatment Knox has been giving his sister has meant I’ve been able to prove to her I only come in peace.

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