Page 61 of Bad Wolf

I can’t help but laugh and cuff him around the neck.

“Nothing to worry your little head about.”

My sister gives me a tentative smile and in return, I send her a curt nod. She looks hurt, but what ya gonna do? I feel like shit every hour of every damn day.

“Okay, then we can get started. Here you go,” Jack reaches over to the table and lifts up a half stack of playing cards. He’s really put a lot of thought into this Saturday afternoon games thing.

“Choose a card. We’re just waiting for—Oh here they are.” I lift the card just straight from the top before he spins and nearly takes me out with the twig he’s wielding and runs over to greet Casey and Anna. They part and I’m met with unruly black hair and eyes that can never make up their mind what color they want to be.

My heart gives a tug and I turn away.

“Knox, what card did you get?” Jack asks from his new position across the room,

I flip the forgotten card in my hand and show him the five of spades.

“Okay! You’re on Gunner’s team. Whoever gets red is on Casey’s team.” I’m glad I’m with Gunner.

“Is that a leaf blower?” I ask Hollywood while trying to ignore Wren and Casey.

He nods excitedly, “It’s for the final game, but he’s not giving anything away.”

“Jesus, Hollywood how are you so excited over this? Haven’t you got anything better to do?”

“Than play whatever this crackpot has conjured up? No way. I’m here for this.” He grins and you’ve got to hand it to our teammates. They show up for Jack in every way imaginable. A look flashes across Jason’s face, but I’m too in my head to even begin to read it.

My eyes are drawn to watch as Wren takes a card from the deck, because as much as I love my nephew, I’ll have to make up some excuse to leave if she ends up on my team. I can barely stand being in the same room, so if we had to work together, I don’t believe I’d be able to keep a level head.

She looks at it and muffles a gasp shaking her head, “I got, uh, I got Ace of Hearts.”

Of all the cards she picked, it’s that one.

Her eyes flit to mine and I immediately dart my gaze away. It means nothing that she picked that card.

Instead, it just sets me off as the air charges around us.

Emotions and feelings hit with the force of a hurricane. Her warmth meets my thunderclouds and the storm inside brews quick and heavy. Unrelenting.

Every time I see her, I feel torn apart from the inside out. The urge to pull her in, claim her mouth. Claim…everything, fights the dark and depressing places my mind goes when I see her.

Worse, the words I said to her outside the bar make me sick to my stomach.

I was in a self-preservation chokehold. The need to protect myself at all costs became my only thought. I saw her and felt all the walls I’d started to build shake, and I can’t let that happen.

So, I went into fight or flight mode and the two instincts warred until it all turned into a cruel monologue that I can’t help but regret.

The pressure builds and I, fuck, “I gotta go,” I say loud enough for only my brother to hear, but before I can even take a step, his fingers are digging into my bicep.

“Don’t leave, Knox, just play the game,” Jason pushes.

“I don’t want to play the game,” I hiss through gritted teeth.

I rip my arm out of his hold and go to grab my jacket, just as Jack moves in front of me.

“It took forever to plan these games. I had to draw them out first and then map each one out. There’s a crazy golf part,” he winks at me like he’s doing me a favor. His big saucer eyes blink back at me, blue and bright.

I don’t even want to hazard a guess at how long this took him and Coralie to set up. I paste a smile on my face, drop my jacket, and then fist bump him, “Then it’s in the bag. Need to hit the can though. Be back in five,” I wink back, and he giggles.

I lean over the sink and splash cold water on my face a few times. When I lift my head, I don’t even recognize my own reflection. Tired, dark eyes have replaced my usually vivid blue and I look drained. Pale. Older.

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