Page 69 of Bad Wolf

Dominant.

Hot.

My hands grapple and tug at the shirt on his back but it’s so tight there’s nothing to grip, so I grab fistfuls of his hair instead and moan into his mouth.

I’m pinned between his body and the wall, leaving him free to drag a hand up from my butt to my hair, which he plows through, tightening his grip and leaving me completely at his mercy.

He angles my head where he wants it by pulling so tight it stings my scalp and I cannot get enough. The press of his hard length against me spurring me on to shamelessly grind my hips. Even though I desperately need air, desperately need to take a breath.

The moment I inevitably do pull away is the moment the spell is broken. He sets me down and pulls back as if I were covered in acid, rubbing at his chest.

I inhale a jagged breath and my words come out quieter then before.

“I know how much you loved me. I know, and I’ve cursed my dad every day for what he’s done to us. But he’s sick. Addiction has eroded away all semblance of the man he was, and I was scared he’d end up homeless or that his addiction would roll into something else. That’s why I stayed with him. To watch over him.”

This seems to enrage Knox. Incensed is probably a better description. Whatever vulnerability I saw in him a second ago has left, and in its wake a new wave of fury.

“You made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Like how I loved you wasn’t enough. You were my everything. I gave you all of me and you annihilated my ability to trust. I couldn’t meet my potential because I was always so fucking angry. So hurt.”

I shake my head. “No.”

No, no, no.

I can’t hear this.

This was never how it was supposed to go down. He was supposed to hate me and get over it—not live with crippling self-doubt.

“The way you loved me? It set my soul alight. I knew how lucky I was, Knox. I needed your love like I needed air. And my feelings for you? I was drowning in them. They wrapped around every fiber of my being.”

This is, this is too much. And yet he carries on.

“Do you know how lonely I felt having to leave like that? Do you know that Scott, Troy, and Theo had to take turns coming to check on me for an entire year because I was fucking up so bad, I was losing my spot and my scholarship?”

“Knox. He was wagering on college hockey.Betting. It wasn’t just about you. It was about Casey, it was about Scott.”

He sneers, “Isthiswhat you’ve been tellin’ everyone? These lies? Is this why they all feel sorry for you? Because they think you were protectingme? It was never about me or my brothers. It was abouthim. You weren’t looking out for us. You were saving your father.”

“No,” It’s whispered though because there’s some truth to it.

“I…This is such bullshit!”

He storms off, aggressively swiping at the tears falling from his eyes. Now I don’t know what to do. He’s hurting, but at least he knows the truth.

Knows I didn’t cheat on him and sleep with someone else. Yeah, he’s yelling at me and telling me how badly I screwed him up, that what happened is unforgivable, but at least he knows I loved him and still do.

I can finally be free of the lie hanging over me.

He’s charged out of sight, the walls practically shaking from the force at which he slams the door, out into the night, but at least now I’ll have some peace.Right?

“That looked… Shit, that looked rough,” Jason’s gruff voice sounds from a hallway off the living area. My eyes flash to his, causing mine to brim with more tears.

I nod through a sob.

“Fuck.” He pulls me into his wide embrace, and I just completely lose it. I don’t know how long we stay there, but eventually, I hear him.

“What can I do for you?”

“Nothing. There’s no coming back from this. He’s really done, and you know what?” I hiccup. “So am I. I give up. You should just go and find him.”

---