Page 70 of Bad Wolf

I motion to the floor, “That wasn’t his first drink.”

He nods and pulls at his hair, surveying the scene. “Okay. You wanna crash in my room?”

“No. I just want to go home.”Home, what a joke of a word.

He nods once. “I’ll call you an Uber.”

“Th…thank you, Jase.”

And as I make my exit when his phone beeps to tell him the car is waiting, I leave my used up, unwanted heart on the floor with the spilled whiskey and the shattered glass. I don’t need it in my new life.

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

KNOX

“Ace.”I register Jason calling my nickname, but choose to ignore it as I race down the sidewalk.

“Knox…Fucking hell,” I hear him mutter.

“KNOX!” He yells and the heavy slap of his sneakers gets closer.

“Hey.” He spins me around by my shoulder and I slap his hand away. His eyes narrow and he slaps me back. My fists clench and I bare my teeth at him.

“You honestly want to fight?” I push.

He stands tall and looks off into the distance for a beat and then he cricks his neck.

“You know what? Yeah, I do. Give me your best shot.”

We haven’t fought since we were kids. I can hear how ridiculous I sound, and yet the thought of channeling this anger, this fury, has me thinking for just a second how nice it would be to pummel Jason.

But then of course I remember that heismy little brother and reign in the anger. I pull the chains so tight I’m almost suffocating. My spite hits an all-time high though.

“Oh, fuck off, Nerd. I don’t need your anxious ass following me around. Get back to reading your comics under your sheets with your flashlight. It’s late.”

His eyes narrow and the muscle in his jaw pops. But then he just shakes his head. In despair? Exacerbation probably.

“I’m being serious. If it will make you feel better, go for it. Look how angry you are. You’re brimming over with it. You wanna go, we’ll go.”

All at once, I totally deflate. I do want to fight. I have so much pent-up aggression but, “I don’t wanna hit you. I’m not mad at you.”

“Better than you going off and doing something stupid.”

I brace my hands against the smooth concrete wall in front of me and push with all my strength. I put my whole body into it. Every muscle locking up tight.

A roar escapes me, and I hang my head between my shoulders.

“I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to pull you out of this,” Jason says quietly.

I shake my head. Honestly, I don’t know how to help me either.

“You obviously want her. That’s what has you so fucked up, isn’t it? Why can’t you just let it all go?”

“I…” I pull off the wall and shrug, my eyes and nose sting but I sniff the feeling away. I can still taste her lips on mine. Still feel the press of her body against mine. Hear the words she spoke.

Eventually, I turn to stare at him. A wave of exhaustion washing over me.

She still loves me. The fire those words ignite inside me roars to life. But what she said about her dad is what rattles around in my head and douses those flames of hope and longing. Leaving me a smoldering pile of ash.

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