Page 96 of Bad Wolf

I giggle at the way Knox is able to alleviate some of the morose.

And I think he’s right to do so. I don’t think I need to hear anymore tonight. Maybe we should just enjoy our food and each other’s company right here in the present.

“I want nothing more.”

We clink our glasses and as the poor waiter brings out our second order of food, I’m suddenly famished.

CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE

KNOX

“Hey, Jase.”

“Mornin.”

He’s bleary-eyed and making his way to the bathroom when I follow him. He raises an eyebrow as he relieves himself, but then rolls his eyes when he sees I’m unaffected by the fact that he’s holding his dick.

He turns to the sink, washing his hands, and then reaches for his toothbrush. He puts a dollop of toothpaste on that’s so big, it falls off. He swipes it from the side of the sink, runs it under the faucet, and starts to brush, all while assessing me with his sleepy gaze.

“I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry for the way I’ve blown up. Wren coming back, it was such a head fuck. I didn’t know which way was up. I was so angry and then it felt like my chest was gonna explode, and I couldn’t sleep, so I drank and that made me all groggy and foggy and, I…shit. I’m just sorry, Nerd. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

“That’s a lot of sorrys for 6 a.m.”

“It is, but I’m headed to the airport early. I’ve asked Casey to meet me.”

He nods.

“I’ve got a lot of making up to do. I feel like you’ve been hit the hardest though. I know I’ve caused you a lot of distress.”

He holds up his hand, “Knox, stop. You don’t need to coddle me. Things are under control. I’ve hated seeing you hurt, but I have my ways of dealing with things now.”

“I thought I was gonna make you bald, man.”

He reaches for his hair but stops his hand mid-way. He lays it back on the counter, breathes, and shakes his head.

“I knew that night didn’t make sense. I told you, didn’t I?”

“You did. You were right. I’ll fill you in on everything. I just wanted to apologize for the last couple of months.”

“In the spirit of being honest,” he grimaces, “I need to tell you that I encouraged Wren to stay and to pursue you until you heard her out, but I was still always on your side. Always. Even if you couldn’t get past it, I hoped you could at least understand it was never something you did. You loved her enough, Knox. Anyone with eyes could see how much you doted on her.”

I rear back. Shocked he’s calling me out on the very thing I tried to hide for years—feeling like I loved her wrong. Never understanding what I’d done to make her hurt me so bad.

“How did you know?”

“I know you better than you know yourself. We all do. You carried those feelings of inadequacy like a brick around your neck. Everyone thinks I’m the complicated one, but it’s you. On the outside, you’re this cocky hotshot thinking your shit don’t stink. On the inside, you’re just a squishy, feely, lovesick boy.”

He smiles, dimples popping, and I pull him in for a hug. God, he’s a good kid. A good brother. Wiser beyond his years. Smarter than the rest of us combined.

“I’m gonna head out now, okay? I’ll see you there. I want some time with him before everyone gets there.”

But first, I have to get through the early morning traffic.

I head out of his bathroom with a spring in my step. One sibling down, a bazillion to go.

“Hey Knox!” he shouts, just as I’m leaving.

“Yeah?” I yell back, really needing to go.

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