“It’s not dumb.Not when there’s a thirty-nine percent risk of a woman developing cancer.”
She continues staring at me while slowly shaking her head.“You are the very reason why the internet should never have been created.”
“I am the very reason why people like you will live longer.I learn how to mitigate the risk and pass that information on.Thanks to the internet.You’re welcome.”
She rolls her eyes.“Your headache is from the whiskey.I have zero doubt about that.I also have zero doubt that you’re keeping information from me.”
“What information?”I work hard not to bite my lip which is one of my tells when I am in fact keeping information from someone.
“I want to know what really happened between you and Callan over the weekend.That story you gave me about nothing happening was bullshit.You forget that I always know when you’re lying.”
Blair grilled me about the weekend, wanting a blow-by-blow of every little thing.She hasn’t come out and said it, but I know she’s convinced that all the weddings Callan and I attend will somehow bring us together.The last thing I want to do is fuel that belief, so I told her I got drunk and went to bed early.I didn’t tell her anything else I remember from that night.
My headache takes this very moment to pound harder against my skull, and I blame this for my inability to withhold information a second longer.“I woke up on Sunday morning wearing only my underwear,” I blurt, “and I have a vague recollection of Callan helping me undress.”
“Well, that’s boring.Anything else?”
My eyes go wide.“That’snotboring!I was wearing a thong that covers practically nothing.”
“I’m one thousand percent convinced that Callan has seen a thong or two in his life,” she says dryly.
“Yes, but he’s never seen my thong or the ass it wasn’t covering.”
“Your ass could do with some action of the Callan type.I imagine it was a fun night for all.What else aren’t you telling me?”
I bite my lip.Blair’s brows arch at that and I know there’s no turning back now.“Apparently, I told him all about my sex life and how bad it is.I can’t remember that, but I do have flashes of memory that make me think I said something about him not being bad at sex and that he’d let me show him all the things I like a guy to do to me.”
Blair’s eyes sparkle.They literally glitter with glee.“That’s my girl.Have you guys talked about that?”
My eyes go even wider than before.“I can never ask him about that part of the conversation!I’m horrified to think I might have said that to him.”
She laughs.“We both know that if there’s one thing Callan loves to talk about, it’s sex.I imagine he enjoyed you saying that to him.Okay, so to recap, he likely undressed your drunk ass and put you to bed.He then drove you home yesterday and told you he knows all about your sex life, but he didn’t tell you he undressed you or that you said lewd things to him?”
“Yes.All of that.”
“And he’s not weirded out over the weekend like you appear to be?”
“No, he’s being normal.So, maybe he didn’t undress me and maybe I’m making that conversation up in my head.”
“Let the record show that I, for one, hope you did say that to him.”
“Let the record show that there will be no more whiskey.Ever.”
“That’s what you always say.I don’t believe you anymore.”
“You should believe me.My ass believes me.It never wants my best friend to have to see it again.”
“How I managed to find the prudiest prude of a best friend, I shall never know.Asses are on display everywhere in the world.Also, what a lovely gift to give your best friend.I hope he appreciated it.”
“My ass is special to me.It will never be on display for the world to see.”
Affection softens her gaze.“And that is one of the things I adore about you.While the world is throwing its morals away left, right, and center, I love knowing that my best friend is holding onto hers tightly.It gives me hope that maybe we’re not as doomed as I think we are.”She nods at my phone.“What did Slade have to say about that Insta post?”
“He apologized for his blowup over the weekend and that it’s caused people to think badly of me.I never saw the day coming where Slade Sullivan would apologize for his bad behavior.”
“You should have.You always work your magic on these guys.Whoever runs that Instagram account is an idiot for listening to any of this gossip.”
“They’ll realize their error soon enough.”