Page 31 of Grand Love

“I don’t usually pack clothes. Lucy said you have everything he needs.” She passes me the bag, then starts busying herself in the kitchen without looking at me once. She knows I have everything I need for Ellis; it’s been the same routine for months.

Is she nervous?

“Yeah, we’ve got everything he’ll need. I’ll drop him back Sunday if that’s okay.”

“Okay.” She doesn’t turn and I frown as I look at Ellis who is watching me from his spot in my arms.

Is she not going to say goodbye?

“We’re going to head out,” I tell her, feeling awkward.

“Bye.”

Do I just leave?

“Nina?”

“Please, just go, Mason,” she croaks out.

Is she crying? “What’s the matter?” I ask, stepping into the kitchen.

“Nothing, I’m okay. It’s the long weekend. I struggle with this bit; you just need to leave.” She swipes at her cheek and I stand frozen, wanting to reach out and wipe her tears away.

God, is this how it always is? How did I not know this?

“Please, Mason, just go,” she begs, turning away from me and wiping down the worktop I only just cleaned.

I go to turn but stop short. Fuck. How do I leave now?

“Nina.”

“Mason, go!” She spins towards us, her eyes red. “I need you to go!” Her lip trembles.

“Ellis can stay, I don’t have to take him,” I offer, not thinking what that means for myself.

“Stop!” she cries. “Stop being…” Her shoulders slump, her eyes filling even more. “Sorry.” She walks to the door and slips out, leaving her apartment, and me. Again. How has she walked out on me again, and in her own fucking apartment?

* * *

Nina

My knuckles rapon the door once, and then I walk in, knowing Joey won’t mind me being here. I wish I was stronger than this, but every time Ellis leaves me for the weekend, it splits my heart open until he comes home again. I struggle not having him with me.

Joey lives two buildings away from my apartment in a small flat. He moved to be closer for work, but it also allows him to be closer to me. Times like now when I need someone to escape to. I can’t stand to be home alone—which is odd considering I spent so much of my childhood alone.

“Joe?”

“Yo. In here,” he calls from his room.

He’s sitting up in bed with his laptop resting on his legs, but he looks up when I step through the doorway. His arm comes out as if he knew I’d be coming, and I go willingly, needing the comfort.

I curl up under his arm, resting my head on his chest.

He doesn’t say a word.

He knows how much it hurts for me to be away from Ellis. He has had his fair share of hardship in his own life.

“Sunday will be here before you know it.” He kisses my hair. “Wanna order in or do you have plans with the girls?”

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