Page 100 of Redemption

“You’re not around!” she shouts and takes a step back, her chest heaving as she breathes deeply with her eyes closed and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Besides, I’ve kind of had my hands full. It’s been a pretty big adjustment, but luckily, I had plenty of practice being a single parent before we split.”

Both Ben and Colt turn to look at them, and Psycho holds a hand up, signaling everything’s fine. “I didn’t think being in Black Valley meant my phone stopped working.”

“I needed to take a step away from the club.”

“Why?”

“That’s a long conversation, and I’m cold. I’d like to go inside now.”

“You’re cold because you’re about fifty fucking pounds. God, you’re smaller than Lacey. Is that why you lost all the weight and look anorexic? To attract new men? Are you trying to find a replacement for your husband?”

Her hand slaps him across the face. “Fuck you, Psycho.”

He stares in shock. The sting calms him, and he sees her now. “You just fucking hit me.”

“You want to know why I’m so fucking skinny?” she asks, her voice low as she steps closer and glares at him, her nostrils flaring. “Because I spent months picking myself apart. Trying to figure out why my husband no longer wants me. To be near me. And when I finally left my husband, which was never what I planned for my life, by the way, I had to force myself to eat because all the stress that falls into leaving the love of your life and raising two kids alone nearly swallows you whole. To top it off, as if that wasn’t enough, I’m bordering on alcoholism because I can’t find a way to sleep without the aid of some form of liquor unless I decide to cry myself to sleep. Yes, I did all this to attract men when the only person I ever wanted to feel attractive to barely looked at me. But you got me!”

His eyes widen as he stares at her. “Wait-”

“I’m not doing this. You’re a Drifter, and so is Colt. He’s a fucking legacy. When couples in the club split up, sides are drawn. You have to back your brother, and that means I’m left out in the cold. Trust me, not only have I seen it, I’ve experienced it. Only it was my brother instead of my husband back then.”

“You’ll never let that go, will you? When will you stop holding onto the bullshit you experienced as a child and realize it’s tired now?”

Stepping back, her hands ball into fists. She’s pissed. Livid pissed. “Well, I guess I’ll let go of it when the prevalent theme that comes with it stops being a constant in my life. You know what, Psycho? You can go fuck yourself. If it’s easier, believe I’m the bad guy. But just know I’m not the one who stepped out of the marriage and didn’t want to be part of it anymore. That’s your brother over there.”

He holds his hands up, realizing he doesn’t have as much knowledge of the situation as he thought he did. “Okay, that was out of line.”

“I don’t need shit from you on top of everything else. There’s enough guilt in my life, especially with having to find a job to support myself and my kids because I don’t want to feel indebted to someone who clearly doesn’t want me. And I need to step away from the club because I’m only one person, and I can’t be everything to everyone. It’s killing me, and no one notices! Or cares. Maybe both.”

“And you’re sure you can’t work this out with him?”

“You aren’t listening to me!” she screams. “He didn’t want to be married anymore!”

Colt turns and looks at her. “What did you just say?”

“No, that’s not technically true. He didn’t want to be home and spend time with his wife and kids. He wanted to spend his time here in Black Valley and expected us to just learn to live with it.”

“Bullshit,” he spits and closes the gap between them.

“Lex, he’s not back here.”

Pointing at him, she laughs. “Then who the fuck is this? Because it looks a hell of a lot like the man I used to call my husband. Is he a hologram? No, wait, I know,” she says and snaps her fingers. “Artificial intelligence, right? You guys knew where to invest.”

“This is different, and you know it,” he growls.

“Nothing here is ever different!” she shouts. “You don’t even think you did anything wrong. There’s no accountability, and you let everyone think this is all my fault. I’m the reason all this happened, but the only reason you spend time with your kids now is because you have designated time with them. If I hadn’t left you, I could have had an affair and seven kids without you fucking noticing.”

“Lex-”

“No, there’s always an excuse with you guys. Always. It’s never your fault. It’s always someone else’s. This is my fault because I’m not willing to forgive when I can’t trust you. I can’t risk putting my kids through the shit they already went through all over again. Yeah, I’m a real bitch.”

“That’s not what we said,” Psycho says.

She shakes her head and takes another step back, and the fact she keeps putting distance between them feels more figurative than simple anger. “I’m not doing this. This is why I didn’t call you. And this, right here, is the exact reason I can’t be part of the club anymore.”

Ben walks over. “Lex, maybe we should just take a breather.”

“I’m going back to the hotel. You’re welcome to come with me, or you can go inside the bar. I don’t really care which, but I need to get away from this fucking clubhouse.”

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