Page 15 of Redemption

“Talk some sense into your son!” she cries. “He’s not himself. Something’s going on with him, and he’s taking it out on Lex and his kids.”

Shaking his head, he leans back in the chair. “He’s a grown ass man. He’s in his mid-thirties. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Threaten to bend him over my knee and smack him with a belt? I don’t think he’s gonna be too worried.”

“He’s doing to Lex what you did to me,” she says, her voice low. “The only difference is that Lex had the sense to leave instead of doing something stupid to get his attention like I did with you.”

“This is my fault now?”

“Jesus, no. I’m just saying, you are two peas in a pod. You act alike. You think alike. Hell, he’s basically the younger version of you. You know how he thinks, and you’ll know what to say to snap him out of this shitstorm he’s creating.”

He laughs at her and places his hands on his head. “Oh, that’s good, Karmen.”

“What?”

“How do you know this isn’t also Lex’s fault? That she isn’t just upset because he needed to do things for the club, and she felt neglected. I mean, that’s what happened to you, didn’t it? You felt like you weren’t getting the attention you deserved, so you stepped out on me. Cost us our son.”

“Don’t you dare go there, TK,” she warns. “Don’t you dare.”

Leaning forward, his fist pounds on the top of the table. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I blame myself every fucking day, okay? Is that what you want to hear? That I miss our son so much I feel like I shouldn’t be on this earth anymore, but I drag my ass out of bed and make the best of what I have. Are you happy? Huh? Are you happy now?”

His face pales. “What did you just say?”

“I just said a lot of fucking things,” she says with a deflated sigh and leans back in the chair. “What part are you confused on?”

“You don’t think you should be on this earth anymore? You want to kill yourself?”

She lets out a shaky breath. “If I could trade places with Noah, I would. In a heartbeat. It’s my fault, and I know it. Rather than being strong like Lex is, I tried to get your attention and played with fire. I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t care. I wanted to hurt you. At that point, you didn’t seem to see me anymore, and any reaction felt like winning. Even if it was hatred.”

Rubbing his hand over his face, he leans back. “You didn’t answer my question, Karmen.”

“I know it would be easier for you if I was gone, but no, I don’t need you to put me on suicide watch. Our daughter needs me. Besides, she’s becoming a sassy handful you wouldn’t be able to handle on your own. God, she’s so much like me as a teenager, I don’t blame my mother for threatening to kick my ass out.”

He licks his lips. “I’ve gotten a taste of her attitude, and I have a feeling I’m gonna be scaring off a lot of boys.”

“Yeah, probably,” she says with a laugh. “But something’s going on with Colt. I saw it in his face when he came over after he found them gone. Whatever it is pushed him to this point with his family. He wasn’t devastated like he should have been. Pissed. He was pissed.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t agree with you. Lex isn’t strong for walking away. Sure, she’s not out screwing another member of the club, but she should have fought. Stayed and fought until they got back on track.”

“You can’t fight for a marriage on your own. Believe me, I tried. And you know Lex better than I do. You really believe that woman just decided one day things were too hard and to walk away? She loves our son with more passion than anyone I’ve ever seen. She loves him like I love-loved-you,” she says, catching herself.

“That’s how you felt? That you were fighting for our marriage alone?”

Tears fill her eyes. “This isn’t about us. We haven’t been us for too long, but he’s following in your footsteps. He pushed Lex away, and she couldn’t take it anymore. Missed her birthday. Then their anniversary. He didn’t show up for Noah’s birthday party, and then he didn’t even remember Calla’s. God, when I see her, I feel her pain. I’ve felt that same pain, but I think hers is worse.”

“Jesus, he really missed all that? And why is her pain worse? Because of the shit that happened with VP and Zane when she was a kid?”

“Because she made the tough decision. I was too weak to make it. If I had, everything would be so different. I took the easy way out. Staying married and being with someone else isn’t hard, especially when your husband never comes home. But deciding to leave because you deserve to be treated the way you were when you were first married takes guts. Because what the hell is a former old lady of the club gonna do? Trust me, I deal with that every fucking day.”

“What do you think bothers him?”

That’s not her job to find out anymore. “I don’t know, but when I talked to him, he seemed haunted. Like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. And he’s angry, TK. Really angry. Not just because Lex left, but at the world. If she’d have left him a year ago, he’d be miserable and fighting to get her back, but his pride gets in the way now. He’s making so many wrong choices.”

“I can see the haunted part, actually. And he does seem angry, but are you sure it’s not just because he’s pissed his wife up and left for what he thinks is a bullshit reason?”

“He didn’t tell you what that twat in Black Valley’s been doing, did he?”

Leaning forward on his seat, he rests his elbows on his knees. “He said she’s been flirting and trying to fuck him, but he turned her down.”

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