“I’m the reason Karmen fucked around. Yeah, it was fucked up it was with another member I once upon a time considered a friend, but it was my fault. She did it for attention. And then it was to hurt me because I’d hurt her. I stopped participating in the marriage.”
His eyes narrow. “You can’t blame yourself for the actions of your ex.”
“You didn’t see Lex, Chicago. She’s a ghost of herself. They have two kids, and the reason Colt did all this to her was because of his obligations to the club. If they were anything like mine, they seemed so much more important in his head. Made him put the club so far in front of his family that she had to make a choice. So did Karmen, but she made a different one. Went down a destructive path.”
“She could have talked to you,” he offers. “Same with Lex.”
“How many times did Kimberly try to talk to you before she finally had enough?”
His tongue runs over his lips before biting his lower lip. Everyone knew Kimberly finally had enough of everything and walked, leaving him a divorcee living in the clubhouse while she stayed in the house he paid for. “Too many.”
“Karmen did the same now that I look back. I just chalked it up to her not understanding or willing to understand the life. Probably like you did, too. They tried to tell us they weren’t getting what they needed to stay happy, and we ignored it.”
“Do you think Colt could have saved his marriage if he’d just talked to Lex?”
Nodding, TK takes a sip of his beer. “Yep, but I can’t put all the blame on my kid. Lex should have fought harder. When I saw her, she had no fight. She gave up on him, and also us. Turned her back on everything when I think she still has a chance.”
“Is it really too far gone to be salvaged?”
“I think it is. I really do. The moment she stopped fighting, he lost all hope. There’s no coming back from it. The weird part is, Colt doesn’t see it. He’s so pissed off, it hasn’t hit him. But when it does, look out. He’ll become insufferable.”
“Damn, TK, if I’d known there were problems like this, I wouldn’t have let him stay out here so much. It was selfish, but it really felt like we had another regular at the table.”
He shrugs. “It’s not your fault. It’s all his. But now I’m pissed because I have to re-evaluate my fucking life.”
“Karmen?”
“I’ve blamed her for Noah’s death every day since it happened. He wouldn’t have been on that bike if she hadn’t been fucking around with Rush. But if I’d paid attention to her and listened when she told me what she needed, she never would have. I’m the reason for what happened.”
“You do have a leg to stand on there, man.”
Shaking his head, he sighs. “No, I don’t. Not when I see all the things she did to get my attention before messing around. She tried to get me to focus on the family, but just like Colt, I said the club needed me more.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Isn’t it?”
Everything always comes back to the club. Today, he doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse.
Chapter 10
Griffin’s Beach
Psycho
Psycho sits in the lot of the Griffin’s Beach clubhouse and stares. It feels longer than two years ago since he called this place home. The place and the people who inevitably saved him. He owes a lot to these people.
No one expects him, but he needs to get in touch with Lex. He’s been calling for close to a month now, but she hasn’t answered. And yesterday, the automatic recording says her number has been disconnected.
After taking out O’Malley, the club finally has room to breathe. The real question is if the break is to take time to regroup or if they take the truce seriously. He just hopes Chicago doesn’t sit on a false sense of security, but that’s a worry for another day. Now, he needs to find Lex.
He walks inside and sees Melanie sitting at the bar with a drink in her hand. Jace, who normally clings to her whenever they’re in the same room, sits on the couch against the wall next to the Chapel, his eyes never leaving her.
Walking over, he sits on the arm of the empty side of the couch next to him. “What’s going on? You two have a fight or something?”
“My girl’s punishing me. She’s not putting out, but I know she’s suffering as much as I am. Maybe more,” he says and takes a drink of whiskey. “She’ll come around.”
Melanie turns at his comment and gasps when she sees Psycho. “Jace, this isn’t the person to have this conversation with,” she hisses before joining them.