Page 35 of Redemption

Laughing, he rests his cheek on the top of her head as she sighs onto his shoulder. “Because he’s trying to be a better man now, I guess.”

“Yeah, well, why couldn’t he do that before? I literally begged him, Shep.”

“What’d he do when you asked him to stay?”

Tears form in her eyes as she remembers the last night they were together, and she wipes them away. “Basically told me he had obligations to the club, and I should understand it. All I was asking for was a weekend. Two days at the house with us because he’d been gone so much. Calla didn’t know who he was.”

“He still left after that?”

Lifting her head, she lets out a deep breath and leans forward. “He did. Two hours later, I think it was. I fought as hard as I could, I swear. The night I left, I tried to talk to him. To give him a chance before I packed us up, and he didn’t answer. I texted after that and said we needed to talk, and when I called again, he ignored me.”

“Are you sure he ignored it? Could he have not heard it? Or been busy and not able to answer?”

The questions make her bristle. Shep’sherfriend. He’s supposed to side withher. The club rears its ugly head yet again. “It only rang twice both times. When I called Psycho, he said he won a room in a game of poker and disappeared.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“I know. It’s how it goes. You’re brothers.”

His hands take hers and force her to turn and look at him. “The only reason I asked was to make sure you knew, without a doubt, there wasn’t a rational explanation. Something that maybe you could forgive him enough to talk to him. And the reason isn’t for him. It’s for you. I can see how miserable you are.”

“I’m just so sick of the club.”

“Talk to me.”

How does she begin to explain? “It’s always come before me. I finally understand how Lily felt. And why she and Phoenix almost didn’t make it to the altar. It’s so easy to feel invisible. And when the person who’s supposed to see you ends up being the one to make you feel two inches tall, it hurts. It really fucking hurts.”

He grinds his teeth. “Why didn’t you talk to any of us? We would’ve had a conversation with him. It might’ve involved our fists, but it would’ve taken place. Straightened his shit out fast.”

“You have to understand how hard it is to trust anything with the club. Especially when VP told me to suck it up when I called him. And, if I’m honest, I think I’m still angry that they took you and Psycho away. Yeah, you came back, but that’s when everything just seemed to get so messed up. And I’m tired of settling and dealing with shit because that’s what I’m supposed to do.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I get that.”

“It’s not just the club for him, though. Something’s going on with him. Something dark. He wouldn’t talk to me, so I have no idea what it is, but I could see it. I think it drove him to the place he’s at now.”

“We still could’ve talked sense into him.”

“And said what? If he didn’t fix his shit, I’d leave? Because I hate to break it to you, but it didn’t do shit when I said it. Besides, if Lacey reaming his ass for missing Calla’s party didn’t shift anything, nothing was going to.”

Cracking his neck, he sighs and looks at the darkening sky. “This whole situation is so fucked up.”

“You’re preaching to the choir there.”

“He seems to be snapping out of it now, though.”

“Too little too late. Then again, he probably had to. Karmen said TK and Jennings talked to Chicago and stopped him from going out there. Which, in my opinion, is far too late. It just… God, I’m so pissed off.”

His hand rubs along her back, and the sound of a passing car catches her attention. It’s been so long since she’s lived in the city compared to the isolated little oasis they called home, and certain things like cars driving by takes some adjustment. But she can’t shake the feeling she’s being watched. Randomly, every day, it feels like eyes watch her.

“Why? Don’t you want him here for the kids?”

“I do. But I wanted him here for the kids before. He missed so much willingly, and he’ll never get that time back. All the milestones he wasn’t there for. But people asked all the time why he was gone so much. If it was causing issues with us. But no one did a damn thing. Except Lacey, but she’s an old lady. We don’t exactly count. By then, the damage was already done.”

“You could’ve come to us, too, babe.”

Leaning down, she hugs her legs and rests her chin on her knees. “If you really believe that, you don’t understand at all.”

“Explain it to me.”

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