“No.”
“For the record, I didn’t give up on the club. I just needed distance. For once, I needed for the club not to come first.”
He nods. “I get that.” Her hands shake, and he fights the urge to reach out and hold her. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” she says with a sigh and looks up to the ceiling. “I don’t know where this anxiety came from, but it feels like I can’t really breathe.”
Because the last time she was in the clubhouse, you humiliated her.
“Lex, I have to ask you… Are you sure we can’t fix this? There’s nothing we can do?”
“Have you signed the papers?” she asks, answering in her own way. “The divorce papers.”
He shakes his head, anger rising. “No.”
“It’s not really going to change anything, but if you’d rather work out an arrangement like your parents, I understand. I just need to know-”
“I don’t want this, Lex,” he says, his voice bordering on a growl. “I want our family back. Come on. Can we talk about what we can do to make this work again? What do you need from me to prove things are different? I want you and the kids back in the house every night. It’s not the same without all of us.”
His words seem to have a strange effect on her. Her back straightens, and she takes a deep breath. “It’s not something we can fix. We need to move on. All we seem to do is hurt each other, and I want to put an end to it before the kids are old enough to see and learn from the example we set.”
“What do you mean?”
Her eyes lock with his, and he loses his breath. “If Calla ever ends up with a man who makes her question everything about herself and her worth, I’ll kill him. And if Noah starts treating a woman like she’s just there for his amusement, I plan to beat him senseless.”
The door opens, and she jumps. Lacey sees her, a wide smile appearing on her face, and she hugs her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Lex, you look amazing.”
“Thanks, Lacey. You’re not interrupting. I should get out there,” she says and walks past him with an armful of plates.
He watches her leave, his stomach in knots. Her underlying tone hits him hard. She meant him. If Calla ends up with a man likehim. If Noah turns into the manheis. And there’s nothing to fix. They can’t make things work, and he’s fucked. Completely and totally fucked. He should feel despair and overwhelming sadness, but the anger boils over instead. Fine, if that’s what she wants, he’s done fighting.
Chapter 17
Griffin’s Beach
Lex
Lex sits outside on the swing set and escapes the crowd inside. The ceremony was beautiful, and now everyone stuffs their faces with food prepared by Tess and Goldie. She tried to eat, but her stomach tied itself in knots, and she couldn’t force anything down.
Thinking back to her own wedding celebration, it should have told her exactly what would happen in the future. She’d been so angry at so many people when she married Colt. The club had betrayed her, but she gave them another chance. Chance after chance after chance. And now, the club broke her world into a million pieces. She’s still really fucking angry.
The air inside became thick with tension as the booze started flowing. It became obvious those wearing the Drifter leather don’t know how to act around her while Colt watched her from a distance, and it became too suffocating. If it wasn’t Shep, and she wasn’t the maid of honor, she would be gone by now. Hell, she probably wouldn’t even be here.
Tara walks out and sits on the swing next to her. “Hey, you.”
“Hey, yourself.”
“There’s so much going on in there. Man, they really like to party.”
Lex smiles and lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, you have no idea. This is tame compared to some others. But you better get used to it because from the way Ty talks, he plans to keep you around for a long time.”
“I hope it gets easier. I really love him.”
“It does. Trust me. And he loves you, too. He’s never brought someone into the club, so that told me right there how special you must be to him.”
Her eyes look at the ground where she kicks it with her sandal clad feet. Her bright green nail polish captivates Lex. “I heard about you and Colt. I’m really sorry.”
And the spell breaks. Her eyes glance down to her own feet in the strappy wedge heels that turned out to be much more comfortable than she anticipated. “Thanks. Regardless of my standing with the club, my offer to smack a club bunny around still stands. To be honest, it’s really the only thing that would feel normal in there right now.”