Page 59 of Redemption

His mouth drops open, his eyes wide and unblinking. “What? I didn’t realize it was literal.”

“Oh, it was,” she says, vomit rising in her throat. “I hate myself for it, but I had nothing else. I’d tried everything. The kids need their father, and he said no. The club needed him. The club was more important than his family, and I wish I would’ve left that night. Skipped the rest of it because it doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things.”

“He just walked away from you?”

“Shep, I wish I could explain how far off-track our relationship got. And I don’t even know why. But then the messages and calls from Diane started. You know I wouldn’t leave for that. But the night I got the picture of him completely naked on a bed followed by a sonogram with her name on it, I’d realized just how far away frommeI’d gotten. I didn’t even recognize the person I’d become.”

He leans forward and takes her hand. “What do you mean?”

Tears fill her eyes. Getting a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris would hurt less than admitting this to anyone. If she wasn’t at risk of losing one of the only people in the club she knows she can count on if she really needs something, she wouldn’t tell him.

“I blamed myself. That there was something about me that needed to be fixed. I was the reason he wasn’t home with his kids, and then I ran through everything I could do to try and make myself more attractive. That’s not me. And I’d never waste money on plastic surgery, but I was in such a dark, desperate place that I honestly contemplated it. I thought maybe he’d have an interest in me. The one thing I can thank Diane and her lovely care package for is putting a hard stop to all that.”

He takes her free hand in his own, and he stares at her like one would a scared child. “You’re perfect.”

“No, I’m not. And that’s okay. I’m not supposed to be. But I need to be me, and I lost her. I became a person who tolerated things she never would have, and who questioned who she was. But even then, I still gave him a chance. I tried to get in touch with him, and I got ignored. Again. Did you know it took him three days to realize we were gone?”

Shep clenches his jaw. “Three days?”

Taking her hands from his, she leans back. “Are you happy now? You now know just how far I’ve fallen from grace. It’s not pretty.”

Shaking his head, his fingers tap on the table. “No, I’m not happy now. I’d have been happy if you’d told me this a year ago, so I could kick his ass into shape before we got here. But I am glad you told me now.”

“He’s not a bad person. Something happened in Black Valley, and it’s affected him. I don’t know what it is because he shut me out a long time ago, but he’s not a bad person. Don’t let this change how you feel about your brother.”

“Yeah, that’s not exactly possible, but I won’t kill him.” She levels him with a glare, and he adds, “And I’ll stop anyone else from killing him. But only for your kids.”

“Thanks,” she says and smiles. “I appreciate it.”

Chapter 22

Griffin’s Beach

Colt

Colt never made it to his mother’s to be with the kids after Lex dropped the bomb on him about seeing other people. Guess he can chalk this up to one more thing she can be disappointed in him for.

The thought of his wife with anyone other than him makes him crazy. Crazy enough to consider stalking her and taking out every man who dares speak to her. It’s overkill, but what else can he do at this point besides fantasize about killing any other man near her?

Nothing. Because you know this is all your fault.

This time, rather than Casey or Noah’s voices, Colt hears his own. Part of him feels disappointment. He knew deep down they were manifestations of his own conscience, but part of him liked the idea they haunted him. In a way, he felt like he didn’t really lose them.

“Care to, I don’t know… move?” Felicity asks as she attempts to move the table he sits at with a full glass of vodka back to its rightful place.

“Oh, sorry,” he says and stands, moving the chair for her. He’s contemplated drinking the liquid for an hour.

“Upset your plan to get her to fall at your feet after one dance didn’t work? Here’s a tip: that thing in your hand helped you create this mess.”

The table legs scrape on the hardwood floor and make him cringe. “No, that’s not it.”

“Then what has you thinking of throwing everything down the drain? Missing your bunny back in Black Valley?”

“I never fucked her,” he growls. “Get it right, Felicity.”

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever, but you’re not convincing anyone.”

“She dropped a bomb on me tonight. Lex, not that bitch in Black Valley.”

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