Page 64 of Redemption

Ignoring the joke, she carries her into the bathroom. “I have lavender soap I use to help lull her back into a sleepy state.”

He stands in the doorway, giving her room to bathe their daughter, and she can’t help feeling as though she’s being scrutinized. She feels self-conscious. The bathroom is small but well-kept, and even though she knows he isn’t judging her, it feels off. And she doesn’t like it.

“Hand me the towel?” she asks after what feels like hours of excruciating silence.

Grabbing the small pink towel from the rack next to the bathtub, he hands it to her. Calla settles down, and her eyelids droop. “She’s sleepy again,” he says, his voice soft. “God, she’s beautiful.”

“She sure is.”

“That stuff seems to work. Would it work for me?” he asks as she pulls Calla out and dries her off before slipping her into her pajamas. “I don’t seem to find sleep comes most nights.”

At least it’s not just her. “Lavender is supposed to help promote sleep. I don’t find it as effective as a bottle of wine, but it might work for you. Or you could turn to your trusted friend, vodka.”

She sees him wince at the jab out of the corner of her eye, and she feels a tiny bit guilty as she pushes past him and back into Calla’s room. Sitting on the rocking chair, she holds Calla close and rocks for a few minutes until the toddler snores softly in her arms.

She wishes it would have taken longer to fall asleep and give her an excuse not to spend time alone with Colt, but she knows she’d be a terrible person to do something to wake her up just to avoid him. Instead, she accepts her fate and sets her back in her bed before gently shutting the door.

“That hurt,” he says, his voice soft. “Not uncalled for, but it hurt nonetheless.”

“Sorry,” she says and moves into the living room. “It was uncalled for. I guess I’m a little crabby.”

“Not sleeping much either?”

Ha! She almost laughs out loud. Sleep has become nothing more than an elusive thought she wishes she could have again. “I haven’t really slept in so long; I don’t remember the last time I can say I got a good night’s sleep.”

“Because of me.”

“Because of a lot of things. I learned how to run on fumes and caffeine a long time ago, so I found a coping mechanism. I’m not sure it’s what you’d call healthy, but in a few years, I’m sure it’ll be easier. The kids will both be a little more self-sufficient.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

He sits down on the recliner and rocks slightly while she tucks her feet under herself on the couch. “So, the club’s on lockdown?”

“Yeah. We still have Beckett and Brian outside, but I said I’d be here to make sure you and the kids are safe. Dad’s at Karmen’s with Patriot.”

“Because the man shot at Ashley instead of Grayson, right? The Slashers are coming after women and children of the club?”

His eyes stare at the carpet. “Yeah.”

“Colt, did you really fight with Zane tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He looks up at her and tilts his head. “Really?”

“Me?” Her head pulls back as she scrunches her face. That doesn’t sound right.

“What else would anyone want to fight me on?”

“If it were anyone other than my brother, I’d say you have a valid point. But Zane hated me, and he barely stands me now. Lane wearing the Lex wig we took from Grayson kind of turned him against me. It doesn’t help that she wears it to piss him off, so it’s probably rational transference.”

The thought makes both of them smile. As creepy as it is to remember Grayson made Autumn wear a curly blonde wig to look like Lex while he had sex with her, the game show she put on, thus putting her brother’s girlfriend in a wig to look like her, was entertaining as hell.

“He’s not happy with me. The fact you’re here versus the clubhouse made him mad. And he said something, so I said something. Then he said something else, and I said something. And here I am.”

“Geez, the detail is so overwhelming. Next time, see if you can sum it a little more to make it easier to process,” she jokes.