Page 94 of Redemption

“It kills me that you’re not dressing up to go out with me.” He stops and stares. They never went out. The only place they ever went was the clubhouse or the cabin. And it’s been years since they went out there. “I never did that.”

She blinks, her anger replaced with confusion, and she sticks her chin out. “You never did what?”

“No wonder you want someone new.”

“Huh?”

“God, I’m an idiot.”

Tilting her head, she stares at him. “Are you having a stroke? Are you okay?”

“That’s not something you should worry about anymore,” he says, his heart sinking. It’s all his fault.

“You’re the father of my kids. I’m always going to worry about you, and your drastic switch of topics I can’t follow scares me a little.”

Running a hand over his face, he walks towards the door. “You used to always know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, but then you pushed me away and locked me out.”

Damn it. Like usual, she’s right. “I never took you out. We never did what normal couples did.”

“We were never what you’d call normal, anyway,” she says with a laugh.

He lets out a long breath. “You deserve someone who will give you all the things I didn’t. I can’t even say you deserve things I couldn’t give you because I could have. I just… I didn’t.”

“It’s just dinner and drinks. I’m not planning on marrying the guy.”

Closing his eyes, he turns so she can’t see the tears he hadn’t expected. “And what happens when you meet someone you want to marry? What does that mean for us?”

“I made you a promise, and I’ll keep it. I can’t believe you’re doubting my word. That I wouldn’t follow through and do what I needed to in order to protect the club. That actually hurts, Colt.”

“You shouldn’t have to give up the life you want and deserve because of a club you don’t feel welcome in anymore.”

“Just because our marriage didn’t work doesn’t change my DNA. My brother and father are in that club, but more importantly, the father of my children is. No matter how pissed I am at you, I would never risk our kids losing their dad for something so selfish. They come first. Always.”

“That’s where it got fucked up.”

Sighing, she rests her hands on her hips. “I can’t keep up with your changing thoughts tonight, and you’re giving me whiplash. What are you talking about?”

“The club came first.”

“That’s your family. Your job. Your life.”

“It is now,” he says, swallowing hard. He turns and finally looks at her face. The concern she wears makes him angry, but for the first time, it isn’t directed at her. He can’t believe he did this. “I don’t really have a choice in the matter.”

Licking her lips, she rests her hands at her sides. “What is it you expect me to do, Colt? I told you I was moving on with my life. That I needed to. You had every opportunity, and it’s my turn.”

“Nothing. I expect nothing.”

She follows him to the door as he walks outside. “You don’t get to make me feel guilty. Not after everything we’ve been through!”

He whips around. “That’s what you think? That I want you to feel guilty? I just realized how done you really are. There was a small part of me that hoped you would forgive me, that you’d want to sit down and talk it out for hours and work to put our family back together. But I guess that ship sailed.”

“What I need and what you can give aren’t the same. Not right now.”

Her words cripple him, and he knows he needs to leave. “Don’t say right now when you mean never. I gotta go.”

He jumps on his bike and drives towards the clubhouse. There’s nothing keeping him from Black Valley. Not anymore. Everything he wants left and won’t come back. This is officially the end.

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