Page 93 of Paved in Hate

He lifts his head and meets my eyes. “Three, actually.”

I laugh and shake my head. “Are you serious?”

The soft shrug of his shoulders gives me a tiny peek at the vulnerable side of Vitaly that I’m guessing no one ever sees but me.

“I wasn’t sure which one was the best, and I figured three is better than one.” Letting go of my wrists, he kisses his way down my body, stopping when his mouth is on my stomach. “You’re killing me, baby. Did you take a test?”

“I did,” I whisper, reaching down to run my fingers through his dark hair.

“And?”

I smile at his eager tone and the impatient look he’s giving me.

“And you’d better be safe tonight and come home to me because I have no desire to raise our baby alone.”

The smile he gives me lights up his whole face. Hangover forgotten, he laughs and covers my stomach in kisses. “I knew it,” he murmurs against my skin. His eyes meet mine when he says, “We’re going to have a baby.” He laughs and adds, “And I’m not freaking out.”

“Are you really okay?” I search his face for any clue that he might be faking his excitement, but the look on his face is one of pure joy.

“I’m so fucking happy.” His fingers graze my skin, the rough scars reminding me how fragile and precious life is, and I make a promise to myself that I’ll never take one second of our life together for granted. “I never thought I’d want to be a daddy, but now all I can think about is how excited I am to start a family with you.”

He slowly kisses his way up my body.

“I can’t wait to see your body change with the pregnancy. You’re going to look so beautiful carrying our baby,ptichka.” He lifts his head and gives me another big smile. “And we already have a rocking chair.”

“We do.” I laugh at his excitement.

“I can do late-night feedings so you can sleep. We can get you one of those funky breast-pump things and fill a bunch of bottles.”

“I’m not about to argue with that. I have a feeling I’m going to be exhausted.”

He cups my face and kisses me gently. “I’ll help you in any way I can, baby. We’re doing this together. My dad didn’t give a shit about me, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to be like him. Our baby is going to know they're loved from their very first breath. You two are everything to me.”

I deepen the kiss as he parts my thighs and slowly slides into me. “Come back to us, Vitaly,” I whisper against his lips. “Whatever the hell it takes, keep yourself safe and come back to us.”

“Always,ptichka.”

Our bodies find a slow, languid rhythm. Every stroke feels like it lasts an eternity, hitting me right where I need him to until all I feel is an overwhelming bliss that blankets my body and leaves me breathless. He’s gentle with me, taking his time and running his fingers over my stomach, reminding me with every touch of the tiny life we’ve created.

I’ve never felt so utterly consumed in my life. Vitaly doesn’t just fuck me; he possesses every goddamn inch of me. He worships me, but at the same time I worship him. There isn’t a hierarchy in our marriage. We both fall before the other, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My husband owns me, body and soul, but I own him just as fully. All the hate I thought I felt for him when I first learned we had to marry has been replaced with a love that continues to amaze me. It’s beautiful and blinding and the sweetest thing I’ve ever felt, and I’m never letting it go.

When we’re both spent, Vitaly rolls us over so I can rest my head on his chest. I kiss his magpie tattoo while he strokes my hair.

“For life,ptichka,” he whispers, making me smile because he remembers what I told him about the birds and why I love them.

“For life,” I agree, because there could never be anyone else for me but him. “What time are you leaving tonight?”

“Nine.”

There are so many things I want to say and ask, but I don’t. I stay quiet while his fingers run through my hair, but he senses how worried I am anyway.

“I promise I’m coming back to you. You’re my wife,ptichka, mypregnantwife, and I will always find my way back to you. You know how dangerous this life is, and I’m not going to lie to you and say this is the only time you’ll worry about me, but please try not to.”

He gives a soft laugh and kisses my head. “I’m actually pretty damn good at what I do.”

“I know you are, but I’ll still worry. I can’t help it. I love you too much not to.”

“It’ll be nice having someone to come home to. I can’t wait until there’s a cute little toddler running over to greet me.”

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