Page 13 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

She went limp, legs straight out and she shivered as I ran the calloused tips of my fingers over the skin of her stomach, her breasts.

I pinched her nipples and lined myself up.

“You ready, Firecracker?”

She nodded, quickly coming down from her high. I eased into her, and she cried out, nails digging into my back.

“Fuck.”

Gripping the sheets near her head I pulled out and thrust back into her, over and over before lifting one of her legs and hooking her knee over my elbow. Her body moved perfectly in sync with mine as we grinded together and created the most delicious friction.

When she was shaking and screaming out her second orgasm under me, I lost it. Thrusting with abandon until I pulled out, flipped her over, and came all over her beautiful ass.

The sight alone had me ready for round two, but I knew by the way her breaths puffed in and out that she’d be asleep soon. Pregnancy had taken its toll recently, and she’d been heading to bed sooner rather than later these days.

I walked into the bathroom to find a washcloth and start the tub. When the water was warm enough I soaked the rag and squeezed out as much as I could before heading back toward where Ronnie was lazily smiling.

Wiping my mess off her bouncy ass had me biting my lip and forcing myself to relax. I needed to get her cleaned up and in bed before she fell asleep.

“Come on, Firecracker.” I said, wrapping her up in her sheet and walking her to the bathroom. “I’ll wash, okay.”

She nodded, and sat in the tub I had filled with her bottle of bubbles. The scent of berries clung to the air as I washed her hair, making sure to scrub her scalp the way I’ve seen in my sister's self help blogs.

Soaping up a rag I washed her body, making sure to be extra careful around her sensitive parts. When I was done I pulled the plug and changed her sheets.

It was a quick job, but it would do.

Wrapping her up in a towel I dried off her body and hair the best I could before letting her pass out in bed. I stayed with her for a while, stroking her hair and watching her sleep.

She looked peaceful when her walls were down, almost like she didn’t have a care in the world. But I knew her rules, and I prayed she didn’t regret this in the morning.

The voicemail popped up as I was unlocking my front door. I hated not being able to answer since I left my watch here and my hands were full of gym shit.

I knew it was Ronnie by the ringtone I’d chosen.‘In da club’by 50 Cent, she hated it, and that was all that I needed to keep it.

“Finn,” Her voice cracked, and she sniffled. “I-I’m bleeding, I don’t know what's happening.” She hiccuped again and my heart hit the floor. I stood there, like a fucking statue. Instead of racing to her, I panicked. “…we hurt our baby.”

The last few words she uttered registered, between her sobbing and choking. I could hear how scared she was, and if I hurt our baby…if I was the reason we lost our child…I couldn’t take it.

I packed a bag of clothes, leaving everything else behind.

“Hi, mom.”

I shouldn’t have driven almost eight hours away to hide. I should have faced my demons, instead I’m standing on my parent’s front step staring at my mother who I must have woken up from bed.

“Oh, honey.” She said, looping her arms around my body like she would when I was younger.

Tears come then, in torrents down my face. I can’t do this. I don’t know why I thought I could. I’m not good for anyone, not reliable, not accountable, and I’ve never had any responsibilities.

How could I trap Ronnie into a life with me? She deserves someone who isn’t a fuck up. A party boy.

“I can’t do it.” I hiccuped, the sound was between a sob and sneeze. “I can’t chain her to me for eighteen years.”

“Come in here.” She said as she pulled me into the house I hadn’t visited in a long time. The same house that saw many of these breakdowns. I wasn’t the same person I was when I left, but I’m not the best man to raise a fucking baby with an incredible woman.

She made two cups of coffee and sat them on the low table in front of their couch. My thoughts swirled like technicolor, jumbled and messy as I tried to explain to her what happened.

“This girl…woman.” I corrected, “She’s incredible, wild and funny. She’s going to be an amazing mother.”

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