Page 14 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

“A woman?” One of her eyebrows raised. I forgot I hadn’t even told her about Ronnie in the first place.

“Ronnie, I met her at Giselle’s bar.” I wanted to tell her the whole story, but telling your mother you fucked a stranger in your sisters club and got her pregnant wasn’t something I wanted to share. “We…spent some time together.”

“Some time…” My mother repeated, a smirk graced her lips.

“We slept together,” God this was excruciating. But I needed her advice, I needed her to tell me what to do. “Mom, I swear it was consensual.”

She laughed and tapped my knee, “So this woman has you in a bit of a panic?”

“A bit? I drove almost eight hours for advice from mymotherfor fucks sake!” I had to calm down, I didn’t want to yell at her. “She’s pregnant, and it’s mine. I didn’t notice the condom broke, it was dark. I was riding the high of getting off with a hot woman who’d been noticing me for a while”

“I’ve been hanging out with her for the past couple of weeks.” Tears start to flow again. “She’s amazing, mom. Unlike any woman I’ve ever met. And I’m the piece of shit who got scared and ran.” I had to pause and inhale a shaky breath. “I came here without my phone. I have no way to contact her, and even if I did, I have no idea what I’d say to her.”

“I fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix it.” I looked into my mom’s eyes and asked, “How do I fix this mom? How do I prove to her I can do this?”

She grasped my hands in hers, the softness of her skin soothed a part of my inner child. Calm washed over me, and I realized I was more tired than I thought.

“I think you need to work on Finn first.”

I nodded, what the hell else was I going to do at damn near midnight?

“I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up.”

“We all make mistakes,” she said, her eyes glossed over for a moment before it was gone. “It’s what we do to make it right that counts. It’s the ways in which we choose to show up that matter. Actions over words, sweet boy.”

I let her guide me up the stairs and into a bed that I swore I’d never come back to. The same bed I had my heart broken in, experienced my first panic attack in, and lost my virginity in.

“In the morning we’ll make a plan, okay?” She patted my side and I felt the mattress shift under her slight weight. She sat with me, allowing me the space to feel whatever it was that I needed to in that moment until the tears slowed. She got up and walked out, shutting the door behind her.

I wondered if Ronnie knew I was gone, if she was going to hate me forever for leaving. I drifted off to sleep wondering what she was feeling, and hating myself just a little bit more knowing if she was half as scared as me, then I had some serious groveling to do.

The next morning I woke to the smell of pancakes and maple syrup. I followed my nose to the kitchen and found both of my parents, sitting at the breakfast table while a chef prepared their breakfast.

My mother looked as beautiful as she always did, her makeup was done, clothes tailored in precise lines. My father drank his coffee as he read whatever sports magazine he was into nowadays. His rich dark hair mirrored mine, thick, but cut in a wave on top of his head.

“Good morning, Finn.” He said, his tone was light almost like he was genuinely happy to see me.

“Morning.” I grumbled. I swiped a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes.

“Your mother filled me in.” He began, “I hope you’re not thinking of neglecting to raise that child.”

“I’m not father material,” I hung my head. My father wasn’t a vindictive man, he was harsh when he needed to be, but I knew he loved me. That was something I could always count on.

“Finn, you absolutely could be.” My mother tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, but I shrugged her off, refocusing on my father.

“Dad, I don’t know the first thing about being a father. I’m scared.” I couldn’t keep ignoring the way my heart beat double time when I thought of Ronnie. “I think I love her.”

“Then you can figure it out.” My mother said, gripping my hand and giving it a squeeze.

I shook my head, “It’s not that simple. She doesn’t do relationships.”

My dad scoffs, “Then you’ll have to change her mind, son.”

“What’s she like?” My mom asked.

Damn, how could I describe Ronnie? I couldn’t put her in a box, she was so much of everything that I couldn’t pin it down.

“She’s…incredible.” I laughed, “She’s tall and blonde, and has the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”

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