Page 16 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

It’s why I worked out so much, I’d been a tall and lanky teen who was bullied relentlessly throughout all of middle school, and then one day my mother brought me to Dr. Fitz. He wasn’t the stuffy type of doctor I thought he would be. He was kind and listened to everything I told him. That first session I poured everything out. Word vomit flowed out of me, all while he simply sat and listened.

He didn’t take notes on a legal pad like I'd seen in movies, and I didn’t lie down like it either.

Although, the couch he had in his office was most certainly comfortable. He also hadn’t redecorated since I’d been here last.

His black hair was shot through with silver now, and a gold band winked in the light on his finger. We caught up the first time I came back a few weeks ago, and it was nice. Like a palate cleanse I wasn’t aware I needed.

“Thank you.” I nodded and crossed my ankle over my knee.

“I know you will give that woman and baby the best version of you. Sometimes you may put too much pressure on yourself and think that you’re failing. Hell, I’ve failed more times than I’d like to admit. But those perceived failures allow us to grow and break out of our molds.” His hands were always moving, his button up was rolled to his elbows he’d done it so much. “And remember, if you ever need me, call. I may not be able to see you in person, but I will always make time for you.”

We shook hands and he hugged me before I left his office. I’d always felt a kinship to Dr. Fitz, he was like an uncle I didn’t know I’d been missing.

Mom and I spent the next couple of days attending a few pregnancy classes, which I do not recommend. Many awkward conversations were had. I think I may have even been propositioned by one of the women. It was…strange to say the least.

Either way, I wanted to be prepared for when I went back. I wanted to prove to Ronnie that I could be just as invested as she had to be, and to start, I was going to make sure she was okay and our baby was still healthy.

But first I needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t a quitter, and that I deserved her love.

It had been a month since I had last heard from Finn.

A whole month of no communication. He didn’t answer my calls, texts, or anything. Didn’t tell me he’d gone anywhere, or had plans.

Nothing.

So naturally, Bellamy became my rock. Even though I waited to tell her, she understood.

A lot could happen in a month, and I had got a lot to do today, so I didn’t have time to worry about all the things plaguing my thoughts. I especially didn’t have time for Finn to be calling me. I hit decline for the second time today and marched into the place I’d called home for the past decade, Fixin’ To I Do.

The place that had nurtured all of my dreams, and my best friend, Bellamy’s. We were the best wedding planners this side of the Mason Dixon, and now our boss had officially handed the keys to the kingdom over to Bell and I.

Holly-Jay and her partner, Kelly, offered us the Tennessee location when we did Haven’s wedding in December, hard to believe it was just a little over a month ago. Since Bell met the love of her life, Aaron, Xavier had a business of his own here, and then my current situation with Finn and the baby, it just didn’t make sense to move.

We were the bosses now, which I found comical. I could barely keep myself together most days, so having employee’s was wild.

“There she is!” Bell said as I casually made my way into the building for the first time as co-owner.

“I’m not late!” I said with as much pep as I could muster after another night of little to no rest.

“Our new couple doesn’t get here for another few minutes.” Bell laughed, “I just want to check on my favorite tiny human.” She pushed off from the wall she was leaning on to lightly place her hands over my stomach. I wasn’t showing enough for people to know I was three months pregnant, small blessings really.

Although if anyone had seen our article in Southern Homes, they must have assumed I’d just gotten a pudge and moved on. I hadn’t announced my pregnancy to the world yet.

Hell, I hadn’t even met Finn’s family. But his mother found a way to contact me through that very same article.

I had been dodging her since I still wasn’t convinced to give Finn another chance.

It’s not that I didn’t want my baby to have a relationship with her or his father, or Finn's family. It just scared me to think about inviting all of those people into our life, only to have them cruelly ripped away. And in the same thought, Finn and I just didn’t make sense. He was a party boy, a trust fund baby that had little to no desire to do anything productive.

Thoughts surface, images of me holding our baby and sobbing because he’d left again imprisoned my mind. I knew my heart wouldn’t survive him choosing to leave a second time.

I couldn’t forget my momentary lapse in judgment when I felt my rules beginning to disappear, much like how he disappeared weeks after we became friends, well, more like friends who fuck.

I knew I wasn’t the model mother, since I’d been known to party too hard. Now though, it’s like a switch turned off in my brain. I no longer wanted to party and get drunk, instead I wanted to enjoy all the time I could with my friends, outside of work of course.

Bellamy was my best bitch, my ride or die, she’d been with me since college. Two outcasts with very different stories, we had immediately meshed. I’d never say that to her, she remembers things a little differently, of course. Once we moved here we made fast friends with Xavier. He was the gay best friend we never saw coming, and his twin sister Penelope just moved back into town. My little crew and I could handle anything, and I didn’t want to open my circle further. As far as I was concerned I had everyone I needed already.

“Hello, Veronica.” Bell’s fiancé, Aaron said coming from the back door of the shop. He wrapped his arms around Bellamy and gently pulled her away from my body. “Already crowding her space, Sunshine?”

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