Page 26 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

His grandson was back in town and when he saw us he smiled. The guy has grown on me, so I sent him a two finger salute and nodded to where Ronnie had just plopped down.

She didn’t grab a menu because she knew it by heart, and with how often her and Bellamy ate here, I’d be worried if she didn’t.

“Hi y’all!” Josh said when he got close enough to the table. “Pop’s in the back if you need him.”

“Hey, man. First things first, I need a strawberry milkshake ‘Ronnie style’.” I could practically hear her glower, so I threw her a wink.

We ordered, and I got whatever the special today was while Ronnie decided on chicken fingers and fries with the strawberry milkshake I’d ordered for her. She leaned back in the booth, expectant eyes finally meeting mine.

“I’m sorry for being-”

“A dick? A sorry sack of shit?” Ronnie jumped in and supplied.

I looked away from her for a second and took a deep breath. “Absent.” I said, making sure to look at her once again. Her mouth popped open as if she didn’t expect me to admit it. “I should have been there, and instead I fell into my own head.”

She nodded, seeming to consider my words.

“I struggled with it, I know I’m not the ideal person you want to raise a baby with. Then I started researching, I wanted to know everything I could about raising a baby. I wanted to be prepared. I wanted to be the person you would want to raise this child with.” I watched her face as I admitted all of the things I was scared of at first. Her lips turned down into a frown and her eyes melted, as if she’s going to cry.

“I’m sorry, Ronnie. I know that doesn’t make up for the missed appointments or all the weeks I disappeared on you.”

She shook her head, shoulders hunched in toward her body. She started to speak, but nothing came out, as if she didn’t know the words she wanted to use.

“Did I make you feel that way?” She finally said, eyes holding so much emotion it was hard for me to not want to touch her. To offer her some sort of anchor in this moment.

“No.” I answered honestly, because it wasn’t her, it was my own fear.

“Why now?”

“Because I have really good parents who helped me on my journey to becoming the man I want to be for us.” I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of my chest. “That and Aaron flew down to kick my ass.” My parents would love Ronnie, especially since she asked if she was the cause of my breakdown. Her heart was one of the reasons I lo– wanted this life with her.

Aaron really did kick my ass though, being as close to Ronnie as he was, he noticed her lack of a partner, and knew I’d end up back here with her.

“Us.” She said, not a question but a statement.

I nodded, because even though I knew I would have come around eventually on my own, the damage would have been that much worse.

“Why couldn’t you just talk to me?” Her voice cracked and her eyes beseeched me.

“I don’t know why, I wish I did. I spent so much time reading every book I could, going to classes, trying to figure out how I could be an equal partner for you. Someone you’d be proud to raise a child with.”

I was laying out all of my cards, because even though I knew Ronnie better than I had, I didn’t know her fully. I didn’t know her story, or why she’d guarded her heart for so long, but I wanted to. I wanted to know everything about the beautiful woman across from me.

The woman who’d stolen my heart right from my chest in a dark hallway one random night.

Josh came back with Ronnie’s shake, breaking the tense conversation. Ronnie’s eyes grew large as she spotted the milkshake Josh made. It was piled high with whipped cream, and strawberries dotted the rim.

Her glee was contagious and I smiled at her. He promised our food would be right out and left Ronnie slurping up a dollop of fluffy white sugar.

“I will do whatever it takes to prove I’m here, Firecracker.” I told her while she licked her pink lips. “And that I’m never going anywhere again.”

After a long drag from her straw she said, “Okay.” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip, “But it’s strictly platonic. I can’t let myself get attached to you again, at least inthatway.”

I nodded, knowing that if that’s all I could get, I’d take it.

For now.

It had been a whirlwind the past few weeks. Between dress shopping for Stacey, planning her wedding, handling Finn’s attitude about my fake boyfriend Eli, and doctor’s appointments, I’d hardly had a moment to myself. Finn had been hounding me for a while wanting to go to an ultrasound, and complaining that the pictures I’d sent him weren’t "sufficient".

---