Page 61 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

“I know, we’re on our way to the room.” I assured her. “We’ll get you as comfortable as possible.”

The elevator dinged, signaling our arrival. A large woman in black scrubs waited outside the doors with a wheelchair. Once they slid open as far as they could I stepped out with Ronnie and Bellamy.

“I don’t want that needle shoved down my back.” She said, gripping my shirt in white knuckled fists.

I couldn’t hold in the chuckle. That was another thing we had disagreed over. I hated to see Ronnie in pain, and I knew this would be the most painful thing in her life. But she was hellbent on no epidural.

“No needles down your back.” Bellamy agreed and greeted the woman hastily. I didn’t put Ronnie down. I couldn’t bring myself to shift her until we could get her into a bed. We trailed the nurse toward the room we were assigned, our steps hurried.

We entered the large room, lights lit up damn near the whole ceiling. Brown cabinets ran the length of the room to my left, the radiant warmer I made note of on the tour sat to my right, with the bed right in the center.

As gently as possible I laid Ronnie down on the bed, her hands were still fisted into my shirt, unwilling to let go. “Don’t leave.” She said, her voice broke on the last word as another contraction hit her.

“Never again.” I promised.

OhGod! This hurt, and every time I felt like I could get a breath in, another contraction would come along. This baby was going to kill me, this sweet little being I grew in my body would be my downfall.

Of course it would.

My child would be destined to a parentless life, just like I was. I felt tears track down my face, I didn’t want to leave him or her without a mother.

Iwouldn’t.

“We need to get you into a gown.” The nurse said, jarring me from Finn’s face. I nodded and let Finn and the nurse guide the beautiful dress Bell bought off my body. I should have felt something about being naked in a room full of people, but I didn’t care.

All I cared about was the thunder of contractions going through my body. The gown was a simple hospital issue, an ugly green that stayed open in the front for nursing. I remember that from the tour Bell and I took a few days ago.

Finn held my hand, unwilling, or unable to move. The nurses bustled about, setting up all the necessary things birthing required. The same nurse from the elevator laid a packaged needle on the bed near the hand Finn wasn’t holding.

She wasnotputting that in my body. I flung myself into Finn’s side, yelping at the sting of another contraction.

“No.” I whimpered. The contractions were getting worse, and I could feel pressure on my pelvis.

“We have to run you a line.” She said, her southern drawl grating on my nerves. Usually I found it charming, but nothing right now, especially the woman holding a fucking needle, was charming.

Finn’s arms wound around my shoulders, “She doesn’t want an epidural.”

I was wrong,hisvoice was charming, and soothing, and I wanted to hate him for it. I really did, especially since this was his doing. I knew my brain wasn’t being rational. I knew. But him standing there, with his beefy arms around me, made my already frazzled brain react.

I clung to him like a sloth to its young. “Don’t let them put that in my back.” I cried.

“Shhhh, baby.” He said, his lips against my sweaty forehead and his big hand stroking my hair.

“It’s not the epidural, it’s her IV. We have to get fluids in her.” The nurse said so calmly, as if my body wasn’t trying to push out a tiny human on its own. She laid her hand on my arm, attempting to pull my death grip off Finn’s bicep.

“Please.” I begged as another nurse wrapped a monitor around my swollen belly. The monitors around the room started to beep, “What’s that?”

The nurse who put it on chuckled a little. “It’s a heart monitor for the baby. We just want to make sure your little one is doing okay in there.”

I looked up at Finn, his dark chocolate eyes met mine, and it calmed me. Just looking at his pride and hopefulness helped ease my worries. He covered the hand the other nurse was trying to get and pried it off his arm.

My eyes went wide when I realized he was handing it to the nurse. His grip got stronger as I started to panic.

“Hey, Firecracker.” He said, his voice low and choked. “You have to do this for the baby, only this once. You’re going to be strong, okay? I’ll be right here the whole time. I won't let you go.”

He had to be uncomfortable, hunched over me with one arm wrapped about my shoulders and the other pinned in his grasp. I nodded and he slowly placed my hand into the nurses.

I didn’t want to watch, but I also couldn't not watch as she slid the needle into the topside of my hand. Tears slid from my eyes as pain registered again.

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