Page 33 of Say I'm Yours, Firecracker

“Are you avoiding me in your bathroom?” Finn’s voice broke the trance I found myself in, and I couldn’t help the little cough-laugh that slipped out.

“No.” I choked out, my throat still thick from allowing myself the space to feel.

Slipping on some leggings and a long t-shirt I swept my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head. Grabbing water from the fridge I sat beside Finn, pulling my legs up under me so I sat crisscrossed, body angled toward him.

He looked me over, his eyes lingering on the bump of my stomach. “I don’t really know how to be…” he took a deep breath, as if whatever thoughts he had churning through his brain left him vulnerable. “I want to be a partner to you, Firecracker. I want to be the person you call when you’re sad, stressed, hormonal. I want to be there, for you, and for our baby.”

I didn’t know what to say. I’d wanted to hear those words for a long time, every doctor’s appointment he missed, every time I cried for no reason. It took him a while, and I understand a little why he was absent, but I still didn’t completely trust his words. His actions were more convincing to me lately, and I found myself softening more and more.

“I promise, I’m all in.” He said, dipping his head down so he could meet my eyes.

“We need some boundaries,” I said, maybe not the brightest while he’s being so sincere. “I appreciate your honesty, it’s going to take me some time to rebuild that trust with you, but I’m willing to try. And no more using Aaron and Bellamy as mediators, that was shitty and you know it.”

Finn nodded, his lips tipping up in a devastating smile, “Deal.”

“But, before we move on from Bell. Tell me why she was so adamant that I should talk to you before I make living arrangements.”

“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” Finn quickly said.

“Finn,” I admonished.

He leaned back, eyes wide, looking everywhere but at me. “I…”

“You bought a house, didn’t you?” I said, finally putting all the pieces together like a puzzle.

He had the good sense to look a little ashamed. “It’s next door to Aaron and Bellamy. The perfect place to start a family.”

“But…”

“I know,” he cut me off, “you don’t want to make anything complicated. But in everything I’ve read, it says that raising a baby takes a village. I didn’t think when I saw the house, I just impulse bought, but I understand if you don’t want…”

I laid my hand on his arm, stopping him from his word vomit, “I’d like to see it.”

He didn’t expect that, and I had to duck my head to hide my smile.

“Really?” He sounded cautious, and I couldn’t blame him. So, I smiled and nodded at him.

We sat in silence for a while, unspoken words floating around the air. We still had a lot more to work out, but right now, I felt content. We watched a movie and Finn rubbed my feet until the credits rolled and I was almost asleep.

“Come on.” He said, sliding one arm under my knees and the other behind my back. “Let’s get baby to bed.”

I laughed and allowed him to carry me the short distance to my bed, where he gently placed me in the middle and covered my body with the many blankets I’d eventually shed off in the middle of the night.

He started for the door, “Finn?”

“Firecracker?” He mocked me.

“I’m glad you’re trying.”

“Meet me at Billy’s tomorrow after work,” Finn said before walking out with a proud puff of his chest.

After last night with Ronnie, I left feeling like we could actually make this work. It would take more than one good night, but we’d both agreed to try. I wanted to show her a little about my world, my why.

She knew I liked to work out, and I did, I just wanted to show her it’s not all weights and ‘bro’ back slaps every time you finish a set.

“I signed us up for couples yoga,” I told her around a bite of my burger. Billy’s had been a staple in Ronnie’s new diet. I watched her devour the milkshake she had become obsessed with recently, strawberries and cream.

Ronnie couldn’t get enough of the stuff.

---